Lanie Stevens, Author -- "Empowering Women Forum" - http://laniestevensauthor.com

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12/26/2016 5:57 pm  #31


Re: 1 year apart, 1 year of prayers, more than 4 months of technique!

do you guys think there are more success stories or more failed attempts with getting back with an ex?  It's so difficult for so many... Im not sure if it is supposed to be this hard...?

 

12/26/2016 7:54 pm  #32


Re: 1 year apart, 1 year of prayers, more than 4 months of technique!

It's not supposed to be hard. It's supposed to feel good, and you are supposed to trust.

By the questions that you are asking, it seems as though you are very attached and are trying to move things along.

There was a post by Colonel Roosevelt on Veronica's forum that might help (below), but there is a great deal of resistance that most people on here are trying to overcome because of their own emotional state. You are literally supposed to do the techniques and then go about your life. People are so busy questioning and doubting that they end up building hurdles for themselves.

********
I've told people so many times to focus on healing themselves first. It's so hard to deliberately put these exercises into practice when the heartache, sadness, fear, and depression are basically in control. Hell, maybe they wouldn't even need to do these LoA exercises if they released the heartache first.

But very few listen. It's like they don't want to heal or take care of themselves first, they just want to jump right into this stuff for a quick fix. They pretend that the negative feelings don't exist and just pretend to be happy as if they are in another universe. A month passes, three months, a year, several years...those negative feelings are still there boiling beneath the surface. That's why I'm not a big fan of the multiple universes idea. People think they can just bypass all the negative feelings they have by entering another universe. That's denial. And what happens when you enter this other universe where everything is perfect? Your subconscious feelings won't accept it because they are still in control, so this universe just stays the same because change has to start within first.

I have a theory that unresolved fear and sadness from heartache and depression could be secretly ruling our subconscious, thus all the clingy and desperate posts we see across the forums. Sure, we could just consciously change our focus and maybe we'd see results...but it doesn't change what's going on beneath the surface. We mask these subconscious feelings with the cover of positive thinking, but it's all still there, powerful as ever. So then we need to also release these stuck feelings, challenge them, face them, outgrow them, accept them, bring them into awareness. That's what healing ourselves from heartbreak is about. But I see people are too scared to accept their own fears, it's as if they think LoA teaches them to shove their feelings away and put a smiley sticker on it. That's not healthy. So then they do LoA exercises in heartbreak mode, the sad state of mind just stays in place. It's like FDR said, we have nothing to fear but fear itself, and people here are too scared to even acknowledge that they have fears, thus fear is still in control.

I've tried the whole "focus on something positive when you feel fear and doubt" thing and I realized I was getting nowhere with it. The resistance was still there, ruling me from within, and I was ignoring it. That's why if you've ever read Larry Crane's "Love Yourself", it says to say "Yes" to all of your negative feelings, accepting them helps us heal, it's not about "ignoring current reality", it's about radical acceptance (the opposite of resistance). Buddhism preaches something similar. A lot of LoA advice I read here either rejects this or never talks about it.

 

12/27/2016 1:31 am  #33


Re: 1 year apart, 1 year of prayers, more than 4 months of technique!

Thanks DC... you're always very helpful.  I think it's difficult to do the exercises and visualize him and have the "can't wait, in love feeling" and then reality kicks in.  Every time I do the technique it makes me so happy - I anticipate and can't wait for it to already happen.  

I am not pretending to be happy, I really worked on myself to go out with friends, to be happy and grateful, to move on, to be happy on my own... but there are times I feel like I am ready for him!  I am missing him and his friendship and I do feel that sometimes, I don't know if I can ever let go of those feelings...  When I open my eyes from the technique and realize it's not yet reality, I miss him more. 

I really like and agree with Colonel Roosevelt passage that you shared - I think it is eye opening.  Maybe I thought I moved on and didn't? It is def something to think about and the passage pushes me to understand myself more. 

Thanks for sharing and for your thoughts.  <3
 

     Thread Starter
 

12/27/2016 11:55 am  #34


Re: 1 year apart, 1 year of prayers, more than 4 months of technique!

I'm glad that helps. Know that you are not alone on this journey. We are all trying to find ways of allowing the good into our lives. It's easier for some than others, but that's ok. If we persist, we will all find our way.

Recently I discovered an LoA coach that really resonates with me. She has several videos on resistance that I found helpful. I'll share one, but she has a lot of easy to apply methods. See what you think.

https://youtu.be/q98rQW19IX4

 

12/27/2016 5:49 pm  #35


Re: 1 year apart, 1 year of prayers, more than 4 months of technique!

I really hope we will all find our way soon!!

yes - i saw all of her videos before. she really makes it easy to understand and easy to grasp the concept. In one of her videos, she explains that you can ask the universe to answer your manifesting questions - did you see that one?  I thought that was pretty cool.  That's when you need a sign. 

I've tried it and I haven't received any signs - probably why I am so full of questions about this, lol.
I am thinking that maybe my ex is blocking everything out and it's taking more time then usual.  I am still blocked, no sign of anything, no clues. it's been silence from all sides so you can understand my frustration. I can't wait for one sign to appear so I can share with everyone!!

     Thread Starter
 

1/01/2017 1:02 pm  #36


Re: 1 year apart, 1 year of prayers, more than 4 months of technique!

Happy New Year to all!! 

I said that after new years, if i don't hear back or get a sign, i will stop the technique and the meditation.  I don't know what to do at this point.  I want him back and don't want to lose him, but it pushes me backwards a little bit.  

I have done the technique every single day without fail for the past months.  

     Thread Starter
 

1/01/2017 1:08 pm  #37


Re: 1 year apart, 1 year of prayers, more than 4 months of technique!

HH wrote:

Happy New Year to all!! 

I said that after new years, if i don't hear back or get a sign, i will stop the technique and the meditation.  I don't know what to do at this point.  I want him back and don't want to lose him, but it pushes me backwards a little bit.  

I have done the technique every single day without fail for the past months.  

HH, are you making sure you are feeling and using affirmations and living as if you already have him?

Because you do. You already have him, he is already yours. You need to realize this.


 
 

1/01/2017 1:33 pm  #38


Re: 1 year apart, 1 year of prayers, more than 4 months of technique!

One way of thinking that has been help me it's thinking that there is 4-5 bucket too fill

*1 bucket is the subconscious mind:
Were we start to fill with each drop until gets full.

*bucket conscious mind:
Were they start to be concious of  thoughts, dreams of us. Again it takes time to fill the bucket and each time they ignore the idea of us the longer it takes.
When the bucket it's full then they get overwhelming.

*3 bucket were behave start to change this could be run from us or surrender to us.
Again either we must care on using the thecnique.
The backet is full they can't take any longer.

*4 bucket we keep filling with each drop it gets permanent.

This take time think this way. Sometime it take fast others not.
Depend of our resistence anf they resistence.
Patience is the key.


I just thought this theory because read bambi and others success story they seems to go through this process.
I dont know if its right but it seems this way to me and it give me some comfort.

Last edited by Linda (1/01/2017 1:35 pm)

 

1/01/2017 2:08 pm  #39


Re: 1 year apart, 1 year of prayers, more than 4 months of technique!

Hi Blue! Thank you for your encouragement.  In addition to doing the technique, I took the advice of others and script twice a week for the past week and a half with the following: 

Thank you God for bringing (love's name) back into my life as my partner, as my husband.
Thank you God for teaching and guiding (loves name) and showing him how much he misses me, values me and loves me unconditionally. 
Thank you God for letting me and (love's name) get married. 
Thank you God for letting (loves name) realize how much he desires only me, respects me and is the only woman for him.  

Recently, I started writing out Mrs. and his last name a few times. 

 

Blue wrote:

HH wrote:

Happy New Year to all!! 

I said that after new years, if i don't hear back or get a sign, i will stop the technique and the meditation.  I don't know what to do at this point.  I want him back and don't want to lose him, but it pushes me backwards a little bit.  

I have done the technique every single day without fail for the past months.  

HH, are you making sure you are feeling and using affirmations and living as if you already have him?

Because you do. You already have him, he is already yours. You need to realize this.

 

     Thread Starter
 

1/01/2017 2:11 pm  #40


Re: 1 year apart, 1 year of prayers, more than 4 months of technique!

Thanks Linda!  Good advice.  I wonder if it matters how many times a day we do the technique and how long we do it for. I also feel that the buckets are SO BIG that it will take very long to fill up. When I did my technique I had a timeline in there - for instance, I had him say we will be together for new years, I will text you for new years.  

Linda wrote:

One way of thinking that has been help me it's thinking that there is 4-5 bucket too fill

*1 bucket is the subconscious mind:
Were we start to fill with each drop until gets full.

*bucket conscious mind:
Were they start to be concious of thoughts, dreams of us. Again it takes time to fill the bucket and each time they ignore the idea of us the longer it takes.
When the bucket it's full then they get overwhelming.

*3 bucket were behave start to change this could be run from us or surrender to us.
Again either we must care on using the thecnique.
The backet is full they can't take any longer.

*4 bucket we keep filling with each drop it gets permanent.

This take time think this way. Sometime it take fast others not.
Depend of our resistence anf they resistence.
Patience is the key.


I just thought this theory because read bambi and others success story they seems to go through this process.
I dont know if its right but it seems this way to me and it give me some comfort.

 

     Thread Starter
 

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