nikki wrote:

Thank you for the encouragement Blissful!
Yes I agree it really takes practice to retrain our subconscious…I’m trying to stay positive as I know he still cares…I just need to work on detaching !  And I still keep missing him a lot >.<

 
This is a great one!! Thanks for also bumping it💞

BUMP!
I've been going crazy about what to do these past few days...
I have done the techniques and it would be cool if I had a job to keep my mind busy...but I lost both jobs in the same week and I have very little to keep me busy...
I'm refraining from contacting her but she is supposed to help me look for jobs and I don't want to bother her in messages but I would like her to contact me first and she's been quiet. And I've been wanting to talk to her too, to hear her voice! Taking all my strength to not bash my head against the wall...!
Aside from doing the techniques and having a good cry I have no idea what to do at this point =/

Thank you!

Blissful wrote:

Hello Everyone, this is hands down the best advice I have read on letting go and detachment! it is a long post so settle in and really absorb what is written. I believe this to be one of the most important steps to achieving your desire and the final piece to the puzzle!

To understand what detachment IS, first it is important to understand what detachment ISN’T. Detachment IS NOT giving up, saying ‘I am tired and I don’t care anymore now’ or saying ‘I guess it was never meant to be’. These are not letting go of resistance. These are letting go of the DESIRE ITSELF! Such an attitude will keep your boyfriend/girlfriend even away from you. Detachment is not a state of ‘no desire’ its just a state of ‘no resistance’

So its important to see that detachment doesn’t mean ‘not desiring’ it rather means ‘not worrying or doubting or controlling’. Detachment is a state of being. It’s a state where you do not ‘need’ him/her to complete you. It’s a state of feeling whole by yourself. A state of absolute independence. By ‘independence’ I mean not depending on him/her for your happiness, joy, peace, etc. This takes us to an important question: Is it bad to be interdependent in a relationship by showing care and affection? Of course, its not bad to feel affectionate about someone. Give and take of affection and care are essential to any relationship. But its important to differentiate between affection and attachment. Most people tend to get confused between what they think is affection, but which in reality is attachment. You like another person, care about him/her, feel happy for their successes, etc-this is affection. You get absolutely tensed up when he/she, for whatever reasons, do not talk properly to you once, you feel absolutely powerless without them in your life, you need them to make you happy and you cannot be happy by yourself-this is attachment. The problem is, on the surface, attachment looks like affection. For instance, if you say ‘I love him/her so much that I would not survive without him/her’ it seems like love and affection alright, but if you really mean ‘you cannot survive without him/her’, then you are highly dependent on him/her for your well-being and hence, you are attached.

So how do you let go of that attachment or need? By loving yourself totally, accepting yourself and respecting yourself completely. And most importantly, taking up responsibility for your own feelings and not resting that power in the other person’s hand. This is actually already known. But there is a common mistake people tend to do in this phase. It is this: They love, respect and accept themselves ‘in order to’ attract the other person! So this self-love, self-respect and self-acceptance which are meant to make you feel good turn into efforts for attracting that person. When you do this in order to gain that relationship, in essence you are saying that ‘I do not have that relationship still. So I am going to love myself totally so that I can attract my love’. By doing this, you are focusing on ‘not having the relationship yet’. So you’ll end up attracting more of ‘not having that relationship yet’! If you love yourself as an effort to attract love back, then you haven’t let go at all. True detachment happens when you love yourself because you recognize your worth, because you truly respect yourself, because you feel and know that you are special and unique. You do not love yourself with an agenda to attract someone, you love yourself just because you love yourself! To fall in love with yourself, start appreciating everything about you: your eyes, nose, hair, body, your ability to talk well, your ability to help others, the way you make your friends smile…it could be anything. Make a list of all the things you love about yourself that make you proud of yourself. Gradually you’ll find so many things to appreciate about yourself and you’ll be amazed at how special you are. That’s when you won’t ‘need’ anyone else to complete you!

Now that was the first part of detachment, where you become happy even without your boyfriend/girlfriend in your life. There is another part, which is letting go of worrying, over analyzing, doubting or trying to control the manifestation. This happens to most of us and can seem quite difficult to overcome. But it isn’t that difficult in reality. In most cases, when you think about someone just randomly for a while and forget it, chances are more that you bump into that person in a short while. But you think about your lover for over days and weeks, and they seem nowhere around you. The reason is simple, when you thought about that random person, you were not worried about seeing them or not. You did not feel anxious or impatient to see them. You just forgot about them and they appeared in front of you. In case of your lover, you kept thinking about him/her over and over again. When you think with feelings even just once, your desire gets registered. But when you think over and over again, slowly anxiety, impatience, doubt and worry seep in. This blocks your way to manifest. So the best way is to forget about the desire once it is set. Your desire gets registered with the Universe when you set it even once, and by not over-thinking it, you are not even blocking its way.

Now comes the most asked question: I cannot stop thinking about him/her. How can I stop? The answer is simple again: You don’t have to ‘stop’ thinking about him/her. You just have to ‘start’ thinking about other things! Initially its a deliberate action of shifting thoughts, but with practice, it becomes automatic where you no longer think of him/her. You start focusing on other manifestations in your life and totally let go his/her need. That’s when he/she gets attracted back to you.

There is another commonly asked question: How is it possible to visualize/affirm and let go at the same time? By stopping visualizing/affirming am I ruining my manifestation? The answer is, it depends on what you are feeling while visualizing/affirming. If you are visualizing just because you feel happy while doing so and you don’t worry about the manifestation, then you are detached. But if you are feeling ‘By visualizing/affirming I am going to feel good. By feeling good I can supposedly attract him/her back’ then you are again operating from a place of attachment and lack. So you have to stop and shift your thoughts. By stopping visualizations you do not ruin your manifestation because even if you have visualized with feelings once, your desire is set to manifest. However, by visualizing/affirming over and over again from a place of lack, need and attachment, you do ruin your manifestation.

Here is the most important note: STOP WORRYING WHY HE/SHE DID NOT CONTACT YOU. WHEN THEY CONTACT YOU, DON’T ANALYZE WHY THEY SAID OR DID NOT SAY CERTAIN WORDS. WHEN YOU GET THEM BACK DON’T FEEL ANXIOUS THAT THEY MAY LEAVE YOU AGAIN. WHEN THEY ARE WITH YOU, DON’T THINK OF THEIR PAST ACTIONS AND GET FRUSTRATED. FORGIVE AND LOVE THEM COMPLETELY JUST LIKE YOU DO TO YOURSELF [img]http://www.powerlawofattraction.com/forum/Smileys/SoLoSMiLeYS1/smiley.gif[/img]
Remember, detachment is not being cold, indifferent or uncaring. Detachment is filling yourself with so much peace and love that nothing affects your well being, and which also enables you to spread love and peace wherever you go.
 

nikki wrote:

Thank you for the encouragement Blissful!
Yes I agree it really takes practice to retrain our subconscious…I’m trying to stay positive as I know he still cares…I just need to work on detaching !  And I still keep missing him a lot >.<

You are doing so well lovely, you are starting in the right place knowing what you need to work on. The quickest way to manifest is to let go of the resistance and to not focus on the lack of your desire. Soon you will not miss him at all because in truth, he never left you. The most important advice I can give is to get happy on your own, don't do techniques to get him back, do them because they make you feel good. This is what I am currently working on myself and each day it gets easier to just check in with myself and tell myself affirmations that lift my vibe and keep me on track. I wish you all the best with everything and I look forward to your progress xo 

nikki wrote:

Blissful wrote:

nikki wrote:

Thank you !!!
My boyfriend actually blocked me off of all communication...JUST WHEN THINGS WERE GETTING SO MUCH BETTER AND IT ACTUALLY FELT LIKE WE WERR SO CLOSE TO BEING BACK TOGETHER !!!
I've ran into him twice since this happened and I have no doubt he still cares though...I hope we move past this soon >.<
I actually haven't heard of neville's revise technique...I should look that up

I wouldn't see being blocked as a negative thing, could be a sign that you are affecting him which has caused him to temporarily block you so he can work out his feelings for you. And as we create our own reality, there is the reality you can live in where he hasn't blocked you at all and you are in the loving relationship you desire. The revision technique is brilliant for circumstances like this where you can alter your reality to suit how you want it to be. I'll send you a link to the article.
http://realneville.com/txt/the_pruning_shears_of_revision.htm
 

Thank you so much for the link Blissful!!!
I really hope that's the case, as I know he still cares and this was totally out of the blue...we were so close before this happened >.<

Your welcome and there's no need to 'hope' you KNOW that's the case, you decide what reality makes you feel good. And the main focus on this LOA journey is about raising your vibration and choosing to feel good all of the time no matter what because you are in control of your thoughts and feelings and the better you feel, the more abundance you attract into your life. It takes practice to re-train our subconscious but keep at it and amazing things will start to happen. Give lots of love to yourself and try no to focus on 'what is' just keep the faith and carry on with your life knowing it is done and it is coming  
 

nikki wrote:

Blissful wrote:

nikki wrote:

 
That's an awesome idea !!! Rewriting your experience as if he had been there...brilliant! I'm going to try that
Thank you for this post !!! Detachment has always been a major block for me...I hope this helps me get past it !

Hi nikki,
I'm glad this helped you! I love scripting and using Neville's revise technique before bed and changing negative things about my day into positive ones and having my love be apart of my everyday life like he is really there.. because he is! It is so important not to get caught up in the current reality of your situation and just focus on the end result because the universe always delivers! best of luck to you
 

Thank you !!!
My boyfriend actually blocked me off of all communication...JUST WHEN THINGS WERE GETTING SO MUCH BETTER AND IT ACTUALLY FELT LIKE WE WERR SO CLOSE TO BEING BACK TOGETHER !!!
I've ran into him twice since this happened and I have no doubt he still cares though...I hope we move past this soon >.<
I actually haven't heard of neville's revise technique...I should look that up

I wouldn't see being blocked as a negative thing, could be a sign that you are affecting him which has caused him to temporarily block you so he can work out his feelings for you. And as we create our own reality, there is the reality you can live in where he hasn't blocked you at all and you are in the loving relationship you desire. The revision technique is brilliant for circumstances like this where you can alter your reality to suit how you want it to be. I'll send you a link to the article.
http://realneville.com/txt/the_pruning_shears_of_revision.htm
 

nikki wrote:

Blissful wrote:

pixelpie wrote:

That makes sense and things are going good. And how are you? ☺

I am very well, Last night I had a screening of a short film I was the lead role in (I am working towards a successful acting career) and it was amazing!! I received a lot of praise for my acting and it felt really good. Yes I wish my love was there but I revised my night when I got home and wrote him in as if he had been there with me the whole night
 

 
That's an awesome idea !!! Rewriting your experience as if he had been there...brilliant! I'm going to try that
Thank you for this post !!! Detachment has always been a major block for me...I hope this helps me get past it !

Hi nikki,
I'm glad this helped you! I love scripting and using Neville's revise technique before bed and changing negative things about my day into positive ones and having my love be apart of my everyday life like he is really there.. because he is! It is so important not to get caught up in the current reality of your situation and just focus on the end result because the universe always delivers! best of luck to you
 

Manifestation Maven wrote:

I really needed to see this today, thanks so much!

It is just amazing information! since reading this I have felt so much better about my desire and more confident. I am so grateful I found this person's explanation and that I could share it around with my sisters Hope you are doing well