Avaelle wrote:

Your fears is likely what contributed to the breakup. Once you're able to move forward without bringing the past with you, things should get better.

Thank you so much; I feel the same. The fact that we're guaranteed to be back in contact makes me feel a bit better too! 

Hi!!I just finished reading PW and am super excited to give all of this a try. I just wanted to give you all background on my situation. I realize a lot of this sounds silly; I only knew this guy for all of 4 months. I've been struggling a lot with my ability to trust after being in a really crappy relationship for 3 years. For a whole year following that, I didn't let any guy get close to me, although with THIS guy, I felt more comfortable than I ever did. For some reason my gut tells me that while we needed this breakup that he just initiated, that if we try again we could be so much better because I'm willing to work on things on my end rather than expect him to jump through hoops to get close to me. I found it really hard to relax into the relationship and freaked out at him all the time. He broke up with me once around 7 and a half weeks ago, telling me that while he really cares about me, that he feels unable to make me happy. However, around Thanksgiving, he sent me beautiful letter letting me know that he wants to be with me and that he thinks he can work on being more open and affectionate with me (which he already was to be honest). At that point, I totally didn't think he'd come back, and while I knew I needed to work on my self esteem and trust issues, I just generally was focusing on bettering myself. When he came back, I jumped into things without really thinking about what I need to do differently. But the same issues came up again, and I didn't react well at all. I basically insinuated that we needed to break up twice during that short span of time because I was just feeling way too unready, and then he finally agreed that perhaps the timing isn't right. We were in a limbo state for the next 4 or so days, which is when I had a realization that working on my trust with someone who I know in my gut is a good person would be really good for my growth. I told him I'm committed to working on these things. A few days later he told me he feels like he isn't ready for a relationship. My guess is that he found our dynamic to be so draining that he didn't feel ready to keep trying. On our last interaction he basically told me that while he still really likes me, and while the idea of us working out is still nice he doesn't know if we could make things work, which is why he feels unready. He told me he really wants to be friends with me if I'm comfortable it. We agreed to do NC until a month from now and give a friendship a shot, but of course I don't really want a friendship. I find it hard to believe that even he'd want that, given that we never knew each other in a platonic way.

He really was so so wonderful to me, and he really cared for me. He's a great guy; I feel really confident about his character. I feel really confident that if I am able to manifest this, we could have something super happy together. I guess I'm having doubts since this wasn't our first breakup, but rather our second... would he really give me a second chance after this? I just keep thinking about the day of our breakup and how much he was pushing a friendship with me... literally 2 days before this boy was sobbing over not having me!