Helpful topic. Thanks for opening this thread
Be positive

Nice one Aphrodite11, you are getting there

I want to thank every single one of you. It has been a difficult time  and all of you took time out of your busy schedule to support me that too around  the beginning of New Year when all of you must be spending time celebrating and all of you supported me and tried to uplift me and stayed positive. Thank you all !!!!
You people do not be disheartened. All of you are doing really well and you people keep going. You all will get everything you want. All of you have the power to achieve everything you want. Best of luck everyone !!!!!

Blue wrote:

Oasiscalm wrote:

At the risk of sounding like a party popper I would advise Aphrodite to focus squarely and solely on herself right now. Let this new information be the catalyst to finally turning to herself and filling herself with love and self worth.

The universe will always give you what you want, but the way in which it is delivered is the Unknown. And sometimes what you need can be delivered like a big slap in the face especially if you have failed to see the previous offerings from the universe.

All of the processes are based on focusing on ourselves. Get back in touch with your inner being and remove all the hurt. Then your desires will start to unfold b

Not a party pooper at all, Oasis xo.I agree.

Aphrodite: Please use this experience to focus on you. Meditate, find the thing you love again, go out and get a manicure. Date yourself right now, find what makes you truly happy and before you know it - your man or a better one will show up. But don't focus on love or anything right now. YOU are the woman who matters! YOU are a GIFT and you need to remind yourself every day when you look in the mirror that you are! You are a GIFT, a BLESSING, you are smart, beautiful, intelligent and strong! You WILL overcome this. We all believe in you and are here to support you always. All the things you want in life will manifest, but only when you love yourself and are at a high level of love and happiness and your faith and belief is unshaken. The Universe always, always, always listens to our vibrations and frequencies and gives us exactly what we wish for. 

But you are hurting right now and this is going to attract more hurtful circumstances to you. If you can, re-read Lanie's books where she talks about going out and living her life. Take deep breaths, write in a gratitude journal every day, self-talk is SO important and you need to establish a healthy self-talk within yourself. You CAN do this. We all believe in you!

Tomorrow is January 1, 2017. It is going to be an amazing year for all of us - believe me when I say it. Although things seem cloudy right now, they will get brighter. Go treat yourself tonight love. Go get some wine or your favorite chocolate, surround yourself with positive and supportive people. We all love you!

I have been trying to do things. I went for a movie on 1st January. Saw that shirtless tall drink of wine with bows and arrows and swords and daggers and he was looking fine in those greenish black robes. I like spending time with myself. I like going out alone, watching movies alone, shopping alone, etc. I actually don't mind doing things alone. I am feeling slightly better. I cry still from time to time but it's getting better I suppose.  I would have love having wine but I drink occasionally and think one should stay away from such things when the state of mind is not the best. I am grateful I have supportive, positive people like all of you here on the forum and around me.

Aphrodite11 wrote:

Oasiscalm wrote:

Aphrodite11 wrote:

I just don't understand how do these people hop from one person to next especially after talking about important things. Don't they feel anything for the previous person? Don't they feel anything for anyone? Fucking monkeys I tell you !!! The hell even monkeys are more stable !!! 

And their insensitivity baffles the fuck out of me !!! As a human they can at least understand that the other person will be hurt by such posts, can't they? It's not rocket science. It's common sense. Don't they think even once that he/she will be hurt by this.
He has posted so much, at least he can block me so that I don't see all this. He might have to post all that but he can block me so I don't see and then continue posting. But no !!!! He won't block me !!! If you broke up with me, want me out of your life, want nothing to do with me then why not just block me? Why let me know anything about your life?

What I also felt was that he has moved ahead in his life. He has gotten married. And here I am still dealing with all that happened and picking myself up. He moved ahead and am stuck here !!!!!!! How can someone move ahead so easily, so quickly? I want to know how he did that !!!! So that I can do it so quickly too. 7 months and I am still recovering !!!!

Why are we still talking about this.

Let look at this objectively.

1- He is now married. The reasons behind his marriage has absolutely nothing to do with you. It is his life not yours.

2- He can post whatever the hell he wants. He is not responsible for your happiness. Why should he block you in order to post his happy moments. It you don't want to see his posts unfriend him, block him, don't look at his posts.

3- Your feelings are your responsibility, not his. He is not obligated to life his life to your ideals. He is not responsible for how you feel. His objective is to please himself and your objective is to please yourself.

4- Move on. Step away from all this anger. It's eating away at you. How can you expect to attract joy when all you are projecting is anger and hate. There is no set time in which someone can move on. Where is the contract that says we must wait for a specific time to move on.

I agree with everything you have said. And I know these things. I am the one who gave away all my power. I allowed myself to be affected so much. And I trying to work on it. It just hasn't been easy. hopefully I will move on.

 
When I was first doing pw and bwd, I was very angry and bitter and at times sent very angry bitter, hateful messages to him. It backfired on me horribly. I mostly sent love, but I still was so angry and jealous. I am ashamed I may have hurt him that way. I now only send love. This morning while fully awake I heard the female voice in my head say"give him time" in Christianity it teaches to do things with love , not hate. I have no idea what will happen, but I will accept it as it comes and I want him to be happy.

Oasiscalm wrote:

Aphrodite11 wrote:

mrstkg wrote:

The way you are going in on yourself, I can see a lot of the issue here. But I won't play psychotherapist. You'll heal. Yeah, you can keep going with focusing in on him to leave her etc...but Lanie advises against that if they are married. I agree. Cry it out. Delete any trace of him. Day by day you'll gain strength, then start affirming YOUR worth. That's a huge issue here. I'm sorry hun. I know it has to hurt. I have a similar story.(he was going through a divorce when we fell in love, i thought for sure we'd be together when it finalized, but nope...he got a GF. Pictures of her alllll over his FB page. And this was after discussing having a child with me) It hurt like hell.I moved on. But he ended calling me a few times trying to see me, even recently. I look at him now like SCREW you bastard. Let him wallow in his regrets. This guy just might as well. You'll see.

I just don't understand how do these people hop from one person to next especially after talking about important things. Don't they feel anything for the previous person? Don't they feel anything for anyone? Fucking monkeys I tell you !!! The hell even monkeys are more stable !!! 

And their insensitivity baffles the fuck out of me !!! As a human they can at least understand that the other person will be hurt by such posts, can't they? It's not rocket science. It's common sense. Don't they think even once that he/she will be hurt by this.
He has posted so much, at least he can block me so that I don't see all this. He might have to post all that but he can block me so I don't see and then continue posting. But no !!!! He won't block me !!! If you broke up with me, want me out of your life, want nothing to do with me then why not just block me? Why let me know anything about your life?

What I also felt was that he has moved ahead in his life. He has gotten married. And here I am still dealing with all that happened and picking myself up. He moved ahead and am stuck here !!!!!!! How can someone move ahead so easily, so quickly? I want to know how he did that !!!! So that I can do it so quickly too. 7 months and I am still recovering !!!!

Why are we still talking about this.

Let look at this objectively.

1- He is now married. The reasons behind his marriage has absolutely nothing to do with you. It is his life not yours.

2- He can post whatever the hell he wants. He is not responsible for your happiness. Why should he block you in order to post his happy moments. It you don't want to see his posts unfriend him, block him, don't look at his posts.

3- Your feelings are your responsibility, not his. He is not obligated to life his life to your ideals. He is not responsible for how you feel. His objective is to please himself and your objective is to please yourself.

4- Move on. Step away from all this anger. It's eating away at you. How can you expect to attract joy when all you are projecting is anger and hate. There is no set time in which someone can move on. Where is the contract that says we must wait for a specific time to move on.

I agree with everything you have said. And I know these things. I am the one who gave away all my power. I allowed myself to be affected so much. And I trying to work on it. It just hasn't been easy. hopefully I will move on.

Tessy wrote:

My dear...

U are right, each nation has its own advantages and disadvantages. I also had a similar experience but yes not as strong as yours. Marriage as an institution is losing its value, but two people moving away or breaking up dosnt mean the entire country is bad! Just one thing - What u are going through, each one is, in some way or hte other! Its natural for u to react this way, when we fall in love, this world looks beautiful and when that ONE person is not there or cheated us, the universe looks ill!
I am so so aware of your feelings, but also I know getting married or breaking a marriage is not an easy task in this country and the so called taboo it is. And its not difficult for people to move on, they so happily do it. Its the other person being honest, loving and truthful suffers!! This also happens frequently in military, at least I have seen many cases trust me. U loved him deeply, so be it. He is the looser, u think he will be happy marrying for money? Naaahhhhhhhh.....every thing comes back, earth is round and moving. 

Marriage in this country never was an institution of uniting people. Let's be honest about it. Since centuries marriage here was done so that you get a woman who will be your servant in your house, pop out some kids, sexually satisfy the needs of the man, do the household chores, bring money from your family, someone you can beat up etc. In fact many people still say, she is a girl, are we supposed to keep her at home? 
And women are the same. They want a man to feed them, earn for them, they want to get a license to fuck other men secretly, bring money for them, abuse the men, etc 
You call this "marriage"? in fact in this country, it's not losing it's value. People are slowly (very slowly and very few people) realising marriage is a union of two hearts and hence should be treated that way. Not something you do to please "society and people".
I have seen people who married for the usual reasons we have here and ended up regretting a lot and realising that marriage is supposed to have love and respect first. So I don't think it is losing it's value, at least not here.

My dear...

U are right, each nation has its own advantages and disadvantages. I also had a similar experience but yes not as strong as yours. Marriage as an institution is losing its value, but two people moving away or breaking up dosnt mean the entire country is bad! Just one thing - What u are going through, each one is, in some way or hte other! Its natural for u to react this way, when we fall in love, this world looks beautiful and when that ONE person is not there or cheated us, the universe looks ill!
I am so so aware of your feelings, but also I know getting married or breaking a marriage is not an easy task in this country and the so called taboo it is. And its not difficult for people to move on, they so happily do it. Its the other person being honest, loving and truthful suffers!! This also happens frequently in military, at least I have seen many cases trust me. U loved him deeply, so be it. He is the looser, u think he will be happy marrying for money? Naaahhhhhhhh.....every thing comes back, earth is round and moving.