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1/19/2017 9:25 am
He started going to therapy and a few days ago he told me that I was more than welcome to go to his therapy session and speak with his therapist about things that "I think are wrong with him" so he can get the appropriate help he needs to change and become a better person. I ended up not going to this therapy session with him because I am not sure that he truly wants to change or that he sees anything wrong with himself. I know that he does struggle with a lot of personal demons and I have always tried to be there and help him out. A part of me wishes that I had gone to his therapy because maybe, getting my side of things will be beneficial for him changing and helping him to progress. The only way that we could have a healthy and successful relationship is if we both change the unhealthy aspects of both of our personalities.
Blue wrote:
There is a button on your phone you can press called BLOCK.
Why are you sitting there allowing his toxicity in your life.Exactly! A man should never call you out of your name, make fun of you or be nasty to you! Especially a man you "love" - if the man I love did that, I can guarantee that the love I have for him would be hit out of me real quick by my self love. There is no reason to keep people like this in your life. Wander, do yourself a favor - cut the cord and MOVE ON! For GOOD! He obviously does not respect you or himself! He sounds like a real douchebag!
1/07/2017 4:38 pm
Agree with OC and Blue, BLOCK his A**
1/07/2017 1:05 pm
There is a button on your phone you can press called BLOCK.
Why are you sitting there allowing his toxicity in your life.
Exactly! A man should never call you out of your name, make fun of you or be nasty to you! Especially a man you "love" - if the man I love did that, I can guarantee that the love I have for him would be hit out of me real quick by my self love. There is no reason to keep people like this in your life. Wander, do yourself a favor - cut the cord and MOVE ON! For GOOD! He obviously does not respect you or himself! He sounds like a real douchebag!
1/07/2017 12:34 pm
Okay, so I know that we went back and forth yesterday as I was getting my situation out in the forum for advice. So last night, I was feeling really negative so I decided to drive to the gym and try and work out my frustrations. As I had previously mentioned, I had went into NC and hadn't heard from him, until I was done with the gym last night and was heading home. I was feeling in such a great mood and super happy until I got a plethora of mean, nasty, and down right cruel text messages from him. Everything from name calling to mocking me having a mental illness (PTSD), saying that I had a "damaged mind" and such. I was blown away by everything. Hours before I had gone to the gym, I had read on a post here to detach and to even do a cord cutting meditation, which I ended up doing and then boom, last night happened. I am definitely backing away for the time being.
All you need to focus on is the outcome. Everything will fall into place at the right time.
But don't pay what he says any mind because it doesn't matter what he says - people can change and after awhile of doing PW how the others said, he will be back. You just need to not give up. But if you continue entertaining negativity, only negative things will happen.
Go no contact and don't bring relationships up to him or it'll drive him away. Men don't like when women try to change them, eapwcially good women. Ignore him and show him that you're the best damn thing there is. BECAUSE YOU ARE!!!! You can do this!!!!! Eyes on the prize!!
There is a button on your phone you can press called BLOCK.
Why are you sitting there allowing his toxicity in your life.
1/07/2017 8:44 am
Okay, so I know that we went back and forth yesterday as I was getting my situation out in the forum for advice. So last night, I was feeling really negative so I decided to drive to the gym and try and work out my frustrations. As I had previously mentioned, I had went into NC and hadn't heard from him, until I was done with the gym last night and was heading home. I was feeling in such a great mood and super happy until I got a plethora of mean, nasty, and down right cruel text messages from him. Everything from name calling to mocking me having a mental illness (PTSD), saying that I had a "damaged mind" and such. I was blown away by everything. Hours before I had gone to the gym, I had read on a post here to detach and to even do a cord cutting meditation, which I ended up doing and then boom, last night happened. I am definitely backing away for the time being.
All you need to focus on is the outcome. Everything will fall into place at the right time.
But don't pay what he says any mind because it doesn't matter what he says - people can change and after awhile of doing PW how the others said, he will be back. You just need to not give up. But if you continue entertaining negativity, only negative things will happen.
Go no contact and don't bring relationships up to him or it'll drive him away. Men don't like when women try to change them, eapwcially good women. Ignore him and show him that you're the best damn thing there is. BECAUSE YOU ARE!!!! You can do this!!!!! Eyes on the prize!!
1/06/2017 5:42 pm
All you need to focus on is the outcome. Everything will fall into place at the right time.
But don't pay what he says any mind because it doesn't matter what he says - people can change and after awhile of doing PW how the others said, he will be back. You just need to not give up. But if you continue entertaining negativity, only negative things will happen.
Go no contact and don't bring relationships up to him or it'll drive him away. Men don't like when women try to change them, eapwcially good women. Ignore him and show him that you're the best damn thing there is. BECAUSE YOU ARE!!!! You can do this!!!!! Eyes on the prize!!
1/06/2017 5:26 pm
Okay, those are good because I have been using those in my PW sessions. There have been a few times that I get so into it that I actually start to cry thinking about hearing those things from him. I don't know if that is a positive or a negative thing.
Just say things that would spark an emotion in you:
- You're the only one I want.
- I have always loved you.
- I get sick when I'm around/look at other women.
- You are my wife/soulmate.
Make sure when you visualise him saying this, you believe and know it and it sparks an emotion in you.
It's good. I cry sometimes too because I get so happy and feel so loved. That's when the connection is so strong and pure. Just keep doing it!
1/06/2017 5:19 pm
He has actually said those same exact words to me too about a month ago.
… What I don't understand is why when we do hung out and talk, does he do things that a boyfriend would do but when I bring up the topic of having a relationship, he gets mad at me. I want to just go with the flow but at the same time, I want to make sure that I am not being played for a fool either. Having me but keeping his options open and then when he wants a relationship, I am the fall back girl. He will be 27 in a couple of weeks and I will be 30 this year.
Because he wants to have his cake and eat it too sweetie. Guys will always push the envelope to see how far they can take it. I responded to you on the Inception thread, i hope it answers your question
1/06/2017 5:18 pm
… What I don't understand is why when we do hung out and talk, does he do things that a boyfriend would do but when I bring up the topic of having a relationship, he gets mad at me. I want to just go with the flow but at the same time, I want to make sure that I am not being played for a fool either. Having me but keeping his options open and then when he wants a relationship, I am the fall back girl. He will be 27 in a couple of weeks and I will be 30 this year.
Because he wants to have his cake and eat it too sweetie. Guys will always push the envelope to see how far they can take it. I responded to you on the Inception thread, i hope it answers your question 
1/06/2017 5:18 pm
I just responded in the other thread.
I know it's hard but the way you write sounds like you are convinced of these negative things. I posted this in another thread you commented on, hope it helps:
I don't focus too much on free will, I think when you want something and try to feel good about it without fear or negativity, things align and make it happen. I've broken up with someone convinced at the moment that I wanted nothing to do with them and a few months later missed them like crazy and realized I loved them. It's been done to me as well. The longer you focus on his current way of thinking (that he doesn't want to be with you), the longer it'll be your reality. There's a reason so many people regret losing someone once the other person backs off and moves on.
1/06/2017 5:16 pm
Okay, those are good because I have been using those in my PW sessions. There have been a few times that I get so into it that I actually start to cry thinking about hearing those things from him. I don't know if that is a positive or a negative thing.
Just say things that would spark an emotion in you:
- You're the only one I want.
- I have always loved you.
- I get sick when I'm around/look at other women.
- You are my wife/soulmate.
Make sure when you visualise him saying this, you believe and know it and it sparks an emotion in you.
1/06/2017 4:19 pm
I know it's hard but the way you write sounds like you are convinced of these negative things. I posted this in another thread you commented on, hope it helps:
I don't focus too much on free will, I think when you want something and try to feel good about it without fear or negativity, things align and make it happen. I've broken up with someone convinced at the moment that I wanted nothing to do with them and a few months later missed them like crazy and realized I loved them. It's been done to me as well. The longer you focus on his current way of thinking (that he doesn't want to be with you), the longer it'll be your reality. There's a reason so many people regret losing someone once the other person backs off and moves on.
1/06/2017 3:37 pm
Just say things that would spark an emotion in you:
- You're the only one I want.
- I have always loved you.
- I get sick when I'm around/look at other women.
- You are my wife/soulmate.
Make sure when you visualise him saying this, you believe and know it and it sparks an emotion in you.
1/06/2017 3:30 pm
Any hints on what I should be saying during my PW sessions, especially from his stand on everything?
1/06/2017 3:29 pm
Thank you so much. Sometimes we need someone to give us a swift reality change on our own self-fulfilling prophecy
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