Bella, I understand how love can put you through all these loops and we're human so we're going to make mistakes. But what's going on in his life right now isn't important , and I'm sure you already know how the forum feels about checking the person's social media .
Again, people will only show the best of their life in hopes that their 'audience' sees.... (You even mentioned he probably wanted you to see...) It's meaningless.
Also a date, is just a date.
I mean this in the kindest way, do not stop your life for anyone. Do not give him all of this power over you.
If you know the techniques are working , you don't need to check up on him.
You may not have direct proof that he's moving back to you but you'd know it .
Relax, do things that make you happy, gain your power back and get back to it 💛
No more checking up on him!
Alright well you girls just do you then.
Blue wrote:
My ladies. Please. This isn't Tyson v. Douglas...
Bella, read January's post - listen to her advice and don't worry about your ex and what he's doing. He will come back soon, just be patient.
Indigo, fix yourself some hot tea girlie. I know it's frustrating but just take deep breaths.
xo
You can't have it both ways Blue. We get on the newbies' case
because they keep starting a new thread about the same problem,
but then you want to coddle Bella who has posted about the same
thing for MONTHS. And she keeps doing all the things that are
not getting her anywhere. I don't need a hot tea, but thank you.
My ladies. Please. This isn't Tyson v. Douglas...
Bella, read January's post - listen to her advice and don't worry about your ex and what he's doing. He will come back soon, just be patient.
Indigo, fix yourself some hot tea girlie. I know it's frustrating but just take deep breaths.
xo
BellaLupa wrote:
Wow. Ok, Indigo, I get that you're trying to be helpful, but I am NOT stalking him nor am I chasing him. I have been in no contact and as I said, I unfollowed him on FB and looked the one time. I have pretty much been doing everything I ought to do.
I am in a pretty bad place right now and in a lot of pain and the last thing I need is to be treated with a total lack of empathy. None of us are perfect, we all struggle. It's a process and the harsh judgment is neither helpful nor supportive. If that is how you prefer to offer your advice, I would rather that you simply did not do so. Thanks.
Please STOP playing the victim. You have posted about this same problem
here, at Veronica's and who knows where all else countless times. You keep
doing the same things and expecting a different result. Do the meditations,
re-read the books and stop doing the things that you are doing. If you don't
want my advice, don't read it. You're welcome.
BellaLupa wrote:
I just found out that my recent ex is already going on dates because he made a point of mentioning it on FB yesterday, KNOWING that I might see it. A mere MONTH after we split. Classy.
I feel pretty gutted right now. I know it's not the end of the world, but I was feeling so positive and motivated that he would have moved back toward me by now. Anything you can do to help me get back in the right headspace would be appreciated right now. It's been a rough couple of days.
I am so sorry that you found that out that way!! This happened to me last week and they are very serious. I was absolutely gutted most of last week and then I started getting so pissed because of some things happening. I was shaking with rage over the situation and then even more upset that this was stealing my joy and happiness that I'd worked so hard for a month to get back. Lanie recommended that I let him have it in my PW session and I did. It was so intense but very freeing after. I used the Cutting the Cord meditation a few times last week. I have also used the Ex Moved On MP3 twice and that helped. I am not sure if your guy is dating just one person or multiple but one that has helped me is picturing him pushing her away and coming back to me every time I think of them. I also briefly call him to me and say "YOU ARE MINE AND ONLY MINE" with a big cloud over his head full of my messages, just waiting to burst. I can't tell you how many times I had to do that last week.
Over the weekend, I found the Rubbing Technique that was posted on Veronica's forum and I swear this was what I needed to stop obsessing over them as a couple.
We are going to have bad days and that's okay! I'd been so focused on trying to keep my vibration high so I could attract him back quickly but I was feeling really manic when I was doing Veronica's challenge. It was a beautiful process but at the end, it was like "wait, I put in all this work, all this time and where's my guy?" I had been feeling consumed by doing the challenge, doing PW/BWD, having long visualization sessions, scripting, etc. I think it also caused me to attract more want. Then I got my bad news but once Lanie said it was okay to let him have all my anger and rage during PW a few times because it will make him feel sad and remorseful, it's like a light switched on. I stopped feeling like a victim and started feeling like my old self again after a few days. I re-read Lanie's books last week and started using just her meditations or setting a timer so it's not more than 3-5 minutes. I stopped having long, drawn out visualizations/ conversations with my guy and now only use 5-6 phrases that I script ahead of time. Only in the last few days, have I realized that keeping it shorter makes me feel less attached to the outcome. I often end PW by using the cutting the cord technique. I have taken my power back and I am so determined!
Just remember, you know this works! We all know this works! It sounds so much easier than it is but remember, YOU BELIEVE HE IS YOURS and YOU know he is coming back to you! Remember what Basher says, "Circumstances don't matter, Only state of being matters". (for some reason that is resonating a lot with me right now, hopefully it will for you). Keep doing PW, pamper yourself, surround yourself with like minded and positive people, skip the negative posts, dance or do something to let out all your negative energy and hurt. Let yourself feel bad if you need to because once it passes, you will feel so determined and that such a beautiful and powerful thing! We are here for you!
Wow. Ok, Indigo, I get that you're trying to be helpful, but I am NOT stalking him nor am I chasing him. I have been in no contact and as I said, I unfollowed him on FB and looked the one time. I have pretty much been doing everything I ought to do.
I am in a pretty bad place right now and in a lot of pain and the last thing I need is to be treated with a total lack of empathy. None of us are perfect, we all struggle. It's a process and the harsh judgment is neither helpful nor supportive. If that is how you prefer to offer your advice, I would rather that you simply did not do so. Thanks.
BellaLupa wrote:
I just found out that my recent ex is already going on dates because he made a point of mentioning it on FB yesterday, KNOWING that I might see it. A mere MONTH after we split. Classy.
I feel pretty gutted right now. I know it's not the end of the world, but I was feeling so positive and motivated that he would have moved back toward me by now. Anything you can do to help me get back in the right headspace would be appreciated right now. It's been a rough couple of days.
Stop stalking him online. You're not supposed to be doing that!
Read Lanie's books and do the things she says. You continue
to do all the things that men don't like - chasing him, stalking
him, and being desperate. You have no control because you
lack self-discipline and you don't listen. If you want him back
you need to change what you are doing.
BellaLupa wrote:
I did unfollow him on FB after we broke up so his stuff wouldn't show up in my feed. But I was feeling super-depressed and anxious the last couple of days and my spidey-sense was tingling, so I looked at his page and saw that, posted about 2 hours earlier.
I haven't really been doing the visualizations the last week or so because thinking about doing it made me feel too sad. Perhaps I should seize this as an opportunity to be angry enough to get back on the horse with some determination. I don't know. It was just a real punch in the gut.
If you need time to be upset, do PW on him and tell him that - let out all your emotions so you can let it go. Afterward take a day or two to regroup and get back in.
He is already yours. You need to trust and believe that.
I did unfollow him on FB after we broke up so his stuff wouldn't show up in my feed. But I was feeling super-depressed and anxious the last couple of days and my spidey-sense was tingling, so I looked at his page and saw that, posted about 2 hours earlier.
I haven't really been doing the visualizations the last week or so because thinking about doing it made me feel too sad. Perhaps I should seize this as an opportunity to be angry enough to get back on the horse with some determination. I don't know. It was just a real punch in the gut.
BellaLupa wrote:
I just found out that my recent ex is already going on dates because he made a point of mentioning it on FB yesterday, KNOWING that I might see it. A mere MONTH after we split. Classy.
I feel pretty gutted right now. I know it's not the end of the world, but I was feeling so positive and motivated that he would have moved back toward me by now. Anything you can do to help me get back in the right headspace would be appreciated right now. It's been a rough couple of days.
Other people don't matter, only you do.
Unfollow his posts on FB or unfriendly him if it hurts you.
How often are you doing PW and your visualisations?
I just found out that my recent ex is already going on dates because he made a point of mentioning it on FB yesterday, KNOWING that I might see it. A mere MONTH after we split. Classy.
I feel pretty gutted right now. I know it's not the end of the world, but I was feeling so positive and motivated that he would have moved back toward me by now. Anything you can do to help me get back in the right headspace would be appreciated right now. It's been a rough couple of days.