I am a fairly self-sufficient person, which was part of my problem with my guy. But at some point in the past few years I lost touch with my sexuality in a huge way. This led to so many self-esteem issues that  I had been working prior to my breakup by myself.  He never knew about any of this or my issues, other than having issues being vulnerable. Being left for another woman chipped away at what little footing I had gained. While it's nice and fun to feel desirable and flirty, I really didn't worry before if men found me attractive and still don't, so it's not even just the attention factor. I have never depended on a man for me to feel self-worth. I know a lot of my issues coming up are due to my upbringing so I have been working through that. Nothing like dealing with 20 year old repressed memories.... This fling has helped me reconnect with my sexuality and embrace it. It's part of me becoming whole again.

I understand what you're saying and agree. I may have worded it wrong, I meant that I am more detached from the outcome with my ex.  I needed this confidence booster more than I realized after being left for another woman, even if our long distance relationship was stagnant. I know we are going to be together and this is all part of me finding myself again.

Lulu11 wrote:

Okay so obviously I still desire to manifest my POI - however, and I don't have disbelief at all. I have complete faith in myself that I will. But last night I had a lil somethin somethin with someone else and I mean there was definitely a strong connection but that doesn't mean I don't love who I am manifesting but I also feel a sense of moving on and while the desire is still there I'm okay if he also doesn't come back if he didn't. Does that make sense? Is that okay??

It makes total sense! I had a fling last week with a guy who's been after me for about a year. This is completely not my M.O.  It was awkward but it wasn't anything he did. I don't regret it. The sexting before we hooked up was such a fantastic distraction that I needed. It helped me not obsess or worry about my guy for at least a couple of days. I actually have had very little thoughts about my guy at all except during PW until yesterday, when I felt like I was being crushed by emotions. This guy knows my situation, he's all for keeping it casual and helping me get my groove back. We made tentative plans for V-day, nothing romantic, just sex. It's helping me get a lot of my confidence back. I am more flirty and open in general, like how I was before my guy and I got together. I am hoping the distraction continues to help me detach.

Thank you you've been incredibly helpful!!

ping wrote:

Have you heard the saying 'People come into your life when you need them most'
I really believe in it and whether this fling is to take your mind off and letting go to manifest your POI or to show you better (which you may not want) you will still get what you want the way you like it if you stick to your work!

Don't worry too much about it, mostly cause I was you a few months ago. I can still choose my ex and do PWD on him but I choose not to.

Thank you so much. Did you do the techniques in a certain order or like a couple PWs and. BWD a day or anything that seemed to help you? I will look at your link as wel!!

ping wrote:

Lulu11 wrote:

ping wrote:

I was in the same situation as you where the new guy became amazing to the point I don't have an interest in my ex hahah but I've also seen it make people's connection with their POI stronger don't worry.

But even when I wanted my ex I was doing PWD on the new guy just to gain confidence you know, seeing proof of what I PWD really helps boost confidence, something you probably can't see with your POI. Hope it makes sense

Did your ex end up contacting you or did you see any of it work on  him despite not having the interest anymore?

He keeps contacting me and flirting with me, wants to know everything about this new guy. It was defs working on him because the last time he saw me he struggled so much! And with the new guy I see the PWD and the link I shared on links page work on him!

But saying that most of these exs and all come back not because you moved on but because you put yourself first and love yourself more! I've noticed that for sure.

Awesome well thank you for replying regardless if I end up wanting him or not when it's all said in done at the time I definitely wanted to hear something like this!! Thank you so much!

ping wrote:

I was in the same situation as you where the new guy became amazing to the point I don't have an interest in my ex hahah but I've also seen it make people's connection with their POI stronger don't worry.

But even when I wanted my ex I was doing PWD on the new guy just to gain confidence you know, seeing proof of what I PWD really helps boost confidence, something you probably can't see with your POI. Hope it makes sense

Did your ex end up contacting you or did you see any of it work on  him despite not having the interest anymore?