I wanted to get some of your opinions on something. I sometimes get confused what to focus on in my PW meditations. My POI definitely has fears of commitment and intimacy that I believe are holding us back from making our relationship an established, committed relationship but also giving him performance issues sexually. I feel like I've made pretty good sense of the issues he has and why he's acting the way he is. My main confusion is how much I should focus on long term things in my PW and also how much to focus on soulmate talk and things of that nature.

If I think my POI could be scared of marriage and/or long term commitment, so should I focus much on having him say he wants to marry me and/or have a family with me? Or should I mainly focus more on having him feeling excited and ready to be in a relationship with me now, but not putting too much emphasis on where it's going, you know? Should I also lay off the soulmate talk and things like that or keep talking about stuff like that? i just want to make sure I'm not adding to his fears with PW, you know? At least not to too much. I know it might be inevitable he gets a little scared of his feelings, but I'm also trying to encourage us spending time together whenn we get the chance to (we're currently living across the country from each other but usually are in each other's cities every 2-3 months right now). Has anyone had experience doing both approaches with their POI who has commitment issues and feel one was more effective? Thanks!