Honestly, thinking about it. I don't think I could open myself up to him again nor do I think I would fully be able to trust him either. We actually have gone through this similar situation before when we broke up 3 years ago. He fooled around with a few girls during the break up and then came back and me thinking I could forgive him and let it go, nope, I always held it against him, which I know isn't fair but it created and caused a lot of trust issues and problems in our relationship this time around, leading to a break up I assume. So, I almost feel like I would be predicting the relationship this next go around if it happened and I am not sure I could re-live going through that again. It actually grosses me out and disgusts me. I do love him and I do care about him but his choices that he is making, pushes me further away from him. Guess I will find out what my therapist says about it all in a couple of days. Haha.

Jag123 wrote:

That sounds like a familiar battle   I think the question you  really need to ask, is can you forgive him?  In order to move forward you will need to forgive him anyway, because the only person it hurts when you think about him with anyone else is yourself.  When you learn to forgive him, you will find the pain will lessen and you will be in a better position to make an informed decision about what you want.  You may find that when you let what he has done go - with love if you can - that you don't want the relationship.  However, if you hold on to it, it will forever colour your future relationship choices, with  or without him. 

Thank you so much for your comment. I think I am having an internal battle on whether or not I do want this guy. A part of me wants him because I love him and want to be with him but the other part of me cannot get over the fact that he chose other girls over me. I am struggling with that and I wonder if we ever got back together, is that something that I will not be able to let go of and would I really be able to fully trust him again. 

Jag123 wrote:

Hi Wanderlusting, 

It seems to me like you are heading in the right direction in spending quality time with yourself.  Maybe work on changing your beliefs around his text messages?  If you get what you think about, and you feel these messages don't mean anything in terms of going forward then that will probably come about.  When I was with my boy, he used to say all kinds of things that were contrary to what he meant like "I don't to settle down" - when he did.  If I were you, I would choose to ignore that, and concentrate my visualising the version of him that you want, saying things you want him to say.  As a positive, you are in his thoughts and he does care.  You just need to change your beliefs around this relationship - remember your power! 

I have spent the past 4 days releasing him and letting him go. Moving on with my life and doing things for myself. Yesterday, I went and got my hair done and just had a "me" day. Last night shortly after 10:45pm, I received a text message from him saying, "I heard this song and I love it. I think you'll enjoy it as well." and then sent me the link. I never responded back but at 11:04pm he sent back another message saying, "I know you won't reply, but keep up the amazing work and bettering your self. I'm so proud of you."
Now, I feel so lost and confused. I know these messages are just tester messages but they aren't messages meaning that he wants to come back or he wants to give us another shot. He was very adamant last weekend that he isn't looking for a relationship, doesn't want one, didn't want to be with me ever again (except for maybe years down the road), and wanted to be single and play the field. He is notorious for sending me these kinds of messages but them leading nowhere. He still has me blocked on social media as well. I haven't responded to anything and I probably will not respond to anything because I already know it is just a check in message. Any advice from anyone? 

Oasiscalm wrote:

wanderlusting wrote:

It has nearly been a week since I last saw him and spoke to him. I haven't reached out to him and I haven't heard from him either. Last night I had an epiphany and changed the way I started to view him. I actually felt a whole bunch of negative emotions towards him and even though it would have been nice to manifest him back and him to want to be with me again, I know that I wouldn't be able to trust him due to him choosing another girl over me. So last night and today, I have been working on releasing him, letting him go, and moving on.  

Jag123 wrote:

I want to gently remind you that you are trying to work the law backwards.  This all starts with with you.  Until you change the way you look at him he can't.  Your role isn't to take action to make things happen "talk, hang out, spend time together" RIGHT NOW. Your role is to align yourself to the version of the relationship and the version of you that you want and circumstances and events will re-arrange themselves to make these things happen naturally.  I'm pretty sure the version of you that is in the relationship wouldn't be feeling this way about him.  So that's a start.  

At the moment, you are in a space where your focus is firmly fixed on him and what you perceive to be his issues.  You are seeing him as someone who can't change and won't change because of your past experience.  You can't get the relationship you want from there, and I know it's frustrating because logic and your current reality is telling you that it's too hard and it's not possible. If you can't take your attention from this, then perhaps you need to hang around there for a while longer until you give up on him and move on.  When you give up, your attention will be taken from the bad bits and you will see him come back.  If you stick with the work, focus on yourself and only apply the PW technique when you feel stronger and in control, you will see the same results and acknowledge your own power.  I'm sorry that you feel this way, but you can't get there from here, and staying like this will only prolong the agony for you.  This whole forum is about empowering women remember - you are giving yours away my love xx

 

 

@wanderlusting I would advice staying in the place you are now and clear out all the negative crap you feel.
Focus on getting back in touch with yourself and bring peace to yourself.

Releasing him is probably one of the best things you can do because after that you will awaken to the true motives as to whether you do and why you want him back. From there you are on more steady ground.

Remember it all starts and stops with you. You are the writer, producer and director of this story and you decide through your mental discipline how it will unfold.

It has nearly been a week since I last saw him and spoke to him. I haven't reached out to him and I haven't heard from him either. Last night I had an epiphany and changed the way I started to view him. I actually felt a whole bunch of negative emotions towards him and even though it would have been nice to manifest him back and him to want to be with me again, I know that I wouldn't be able to trust him due to him choosing another girl over me. So last night and today, I have been working on releasing him, letting him go, and moving on.  

Jag123 wrote:

I want to gently remind you that you are trying to work the law backwards.  This all starts with with you.  Until you change the way you look at him he can't.  Your role isn't to take action to make things happen "talk, hang out, spend time together" RIGHT NOW. Your role is to align yourself to the version of the relationship and the version of you that you want and circumstances and events will re-arrange themselves to make these things happen naturally.  I'm pretty sure the version of you that is in the relationship wouldn't be feeling this way about him.  So that's a start.  

At the moment, you are in a space where your focus is firmly fixed on him and what you perceive to be his issues.  You are seeing him as someone who can't change and won't change because of your past experience.  You can't get the relationship you want from there, and I know it's frustrating because logic and your current reality is telling you that it's too hard and it's not possible. If you can't take your attention from this, then perhaps you need to hang around there for a while longer until you give up on him and move on.  When you give up, your attention will be taken from the bad bits and you will see him come back.  If you stick with the work, focus on yourself and only apply the PW technique when you feel stronger and in control, you will see the same results and acknowledge your own power.  I'm sorry that you feel this way, but you can't get there from here, and staying like this will only prolong the agony for you.  This whole forum is about empowering women remember - you are giving yours away my love xx

 

I want to gently remind you that you are trying to work the law backwards.  This all starts with with you.  Until you change the way you look at him he can't.  Your role isn't to take action to make things happen "talk, hang out, spend time together" RIGHT NOW. Your role is to align yourself to the version of the relationship and the version of you that you want and circumstances and events will re-arrange themselves to make these things happen naturally.  I'm pretty sure the version of you that is in the relationship wouldn't be feeling this way about him.  So that's a start.  

At the moment, you are in a space where your focus is firmly fixed on him and what you perceive to be his issues.  You are seeing him as someone who can't change and won't change because of your past experience.  You can't get the relationship you want from there, and I know it's frustrating because logic and your current reality is telling you that it's too hard and it's not possible. If you can't take your attention from this, then perhaps you need to hang around there for a while longer until you give up on him and move on.  When you give up, your attention will be taken from the bad bits and you will see him come back.  If you stick with the work, focus on yourself and only apply the PW technique when you feel stronger and in control, you will see the same results and acknowledge your own power.  I'm sorry that you feel this way, but you can't get there from here, and staying like this will only prolong the agony for you.  This whole forum is about empowering women remember - you are giving yours away my love xx

 

Sushi wrote:

My impression when I read this is that it's working, he's just not there yet. He's being spiteful and he said these things to hurt you because he's still angry about something, whatever it is. You can give up now. It's your choice. If you keep going though, he's going to break. 

 
This is exactly what i was thinking wanderlust.
Its up to you, and im happy you are at peace with your decision but i am also pretty sure he will chase you down once he realises he has really lost you.
Thank you for your well wishes too

*Hugs*

I know thinking and feeling are different things but what about "free will" and how others have that. Wouldn't it not matter how much I wanted something and how I didn't want certain things to happen that if the other person wanted to do it regardless of what you were trying to manifest, wouldn't it happen either way because they made the decision to be with someone else regardless of how you felt about it. 

pixelpie wrote:

wanderlusting wrote:

pixelpie wrote:

Well I'm very sorry to hear this. But have you read any real info on loa lanie is more of an introduction. Even she said in her books she got it from someone else. Some that goes into more detail about what it is and how to use it. That someone is neville goddard. Have you read anything by him? We have some of his stuff on here. And he states very clear that we get what we assume to be true.(it's easy but still hard)

That means even if it's a lie if we believe in it good or bad it will happen. And you said you assumed the things about him going to someone else would happen. So they had to happen. The law aka loa knows no good or bad. It will always only say yes to whatever we believe in good or bad. But that also mean to change things you only need to stop assuming in what you don't want and start believing in a new story that you do. Without any worry, doubt, guilt, or fear.

So if ever you change your mind we will be here to welcome you back. But if you don't come back. I really do hope you find your happiness in the world with whomever is lucky enough that you will have them 🤗

One of the biggest problems that I came across was when people asked what happened and I explained the situation, everyone kept telling me that there was another girl or that he was going to be with another girl. So many of those thoughts filled my head but I kept pushing them out and believing that it wasn't true. I kept thinking about him just working on himself and that he would be coming back to me. While he did come back to me, he said the opposite of everything that I wanted to hear. He did tell me that he loves me, that his feelings haven't changed for me, and that he hasn't moved on but that it would be best that we weren't in each other's lives anymore so that he could lose the feelings and could move on; said he didn't want to act upon those feelings. He told me that he isn't open to the idea of having a relationship, not just with me, but with anyone else. He said he has been really enjoying the single life and has been non-stop partying for almost 3 weeks now and did find himself being attracted to other girls to the point of actually taking a girl home and hooking up with her. These are all things that he told me Saturday night. He told me that him and I would never get back together and that I needed to move on and start dating other guys. To me, if he truly loved and cared about me, he wouldn't be telling me to do those things. He did say that while the break up has been hard on him, he likes being able to do everything now that he wasn't able to do while in a relationship. He did also mention that he has been supplementing his friends and going out to fill the void of me not being in his life anymore. He said that while he knows that he is on the path of self destruction right now, that he is trying to "find himself" and figure out his life and what makes him happy. He said that maybe one day years down the road we will run into each other and then maybe we could talk then. So, I feel like despite being positive and working on my daily rituals, I manifested everything opposite of what I had been practicing. I know that he is a very stubborn person and once he sets his mind to something, he typically doesn't change it. I know there is a lot of resistance but in the meantime, I have been working on myself and going to therapy to overcome some issues (depression, anxiety, PTSD) which created a lot of problems within the relationship that ended up pushing him away. All I want is a chance/opportunity to show him how much I have changed and how our relationship would be different this time around but he is completely shut off to the idea of that happening. He stated that he didn't want to "risk" it and go through that again. 

Again I am very sorry that you have gone through all of this.

But to understand what I mean. You must understandwhat I mean when I say the word assume I'm not talking about words. I am talking about feelings. The way neville used the word. And from what you've said it seems while you did not want to think he'd done something to hurt you as people around said. You still assumed the feeling of "he will hurt me" and that could have come in any shape. I think the only reason it showed up in the shape of another person *this girl* is because the people around you were telling you that story they had no proof.

So when you tell a story and/or hear it over and over again *which is what happen here* and pair it with a feeling of hurt, worry, doubt, or guilt etc. The negative story will be made real. It works just the same for positive things too.

My point is for anything to be made real it comes from how you *FEEL* about the story you are telling yourself and others or hearing. The words help,yes. But what you get to see in the everyday real life is the feelings you assumed and felt as true.

Jag also gave you a key example of this when she said she lied to herself about her guy but the lie didn't feel real. Again everything starts and ends with how you feel about whatever it is. Had she at the time felt the story she was tell really true of herself in those moments she wouldn't be on here at all. Because she would be living a different story.

But noting is lost. The beauty of things is that we as humans can pick and choose how we feel about anything. And that's all LOA is showing you. How to run your feeling in such a way that you live in the happy agreeable life you want how you want. And not to continue to let your feels run you in such a way that you feel out of control of everything.