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12/22/2016 5:50 pm
Sushi wrote:
Hattie - so sorry this has been happening to you. I know how frustrating it is to have someone like that seduce and hold your husband's attention especially when she sounds so cheap and low class.
Your description of her reminded me of an article I saved years ago (to review when I get married) and I think it might give you some insight into why all these men are cheating with her:
I highlighted this paragraph:
"The women who are your competition are the one's who make your husband feel important, interesting, capable, and attractive. The admiring secretary has a much better chance of having an affair with your husband than the young beauty who lives next door--even if she is ten years older than you! To keep your husband attracted to you, you need to make your husband feel young (even if he's 60), attractive, important, and interesting. Don't do it because you fear losing him (that would be needy), but do it because you love him and because that's part of what it really means to be married."
It's not very likely that this woman is doing these visualization techniques; she probably doesn't need them. Manipulators have their own way of getting what they want, and she's either making these guys feel like kings or doing the opposite - being an absolute demanding bitch (many guys respond to this).
Whatever it is - you CAN turn this around. Step back and ask yourself how do you want things to BE? (This question has helped me a lot when things were spiraling downhill.)
We're all cheering and rooting for you... please update us on how things are progressing! Wish you LOTS OF success! Your husband ain't going anywhere, he's yours and ONLY yours.Thank you for writing this. These were my exact same thoughts. When I found out that my ex was cheating on me, I expected her to be a supermodel type, way younger. I met her, and I thought WTF? She was unattractive, unkempt, uneducated. But the thing is she was making him feel like a winner. She took every opportunity to compliment him. He was on a pedestal with her. Of course these relationships don't last, but that's the attraction. He feels good about himself with her.
I don't think she's using anything except making him feel like a winner. So, with Lanie's technique, there's a definite edge that she doesn't have.Yeah, I had the same thing happen with mine. The women he's been with since have been ugly as fuck. The first one was 300lbs, the second one was about 250lbs @ 5ft and looks like a bowling ball with feet. She also looks 10 years older than she actually is. The one after her had a fricken face tattoo. There's been a few more and not one of them are good looking. I swear if you stripped them for their best features and put together Franken-ho, you'd have a 5 at best. The thing he wants most is control and a submissive woman that just goes along with anything he says. Ain't going to happen. Even these women have been dumping him because no one is going to put up with his sh*t.
Smh
12/22/2016 3:28 pm
Sushi & aligemini, thanks for the smiles!
12/22/2016 3:01 pm
Haha Sushi. Cannot stop laughing, and same here, my ex is with a woman that looks like a man in drag, and one of his mates said that. When he had an affair with her last year I said to him "is she attractive?" He said "she used to be when she was younger". Trust me, this woman wasn't attractive as a baby, I was so offended when I saw her, it was an insult.
12/22/2016 2:53 pm
just that she is so homely and unkempt and genuinely horrid. She has an obnoxious personality, no one can stand to be around her, she is always a slob and yet she manages to snare married and/or otherwise committed men all the time. There must be something.
Hattie - so sorry this has been happening to you. I know how frustrating it is to have someone like that seduce and hold your husband's attention especially when she sounds so cheap and low class.
Your description of her reminded me of an article I saved years ago (to review when I get married) and I think it might give you some insight into why all these men are cheating with her:
I highlighted this paragraph:
"The women who are your competition are the one's who make your husband feel important, interesting, capable, and attractive. The admiring secretary has a much better chance of having an affair with your husband than the young beauty who lives next door--even if she is ten years older than you! To keep your husband attracted to you, you need to make your husband feel young (even if he's 60), attractive, important, and interesting. Don't do it because you fear losing him (that would be needy), but do it because you love him and because that's part of what it really means to be married."
It's not very likely that this woman is doing these visualization techniques; she probably doesn't need them. Manipulators have their own way of getting what they want, and she's either making these guys feel like kings or doing the opposite - being an absolute demanding bitch (many guys respond to this).
Whatever it is - you CAN turn this around. Step back and ask yourself how do you want things to BE? (This question has helped me a lot when things were spiraling downhill.)
We're all cheering and rooting for you... please update us on how things are progressing! Wish you LOTS OF success! Your husband ain't going anywhere, he's yours and ONLY yours.Thank you for writing this. These were my exact same thoughts. When I found out that my ex was cheating on me, I expected her to be a supermodel type, way younger. I met her, and I thought WTF? She was unattractive, unkempt, uneducated. But the thing is she was making him feel like a winner. She took every opportunity to compliment him. He was on a pedestal with her. Of course these relationships don't last, but that's the attraction. He feels good about himself with her.
I don't think she's using anything except making him feel like a winner. So, with Lanie's technique, there's a definite edge that she doesn't have.
Yeah, I had the same thing happen with mine. The women he's been with since have been ugly as fuck. The first one was 300lbs, the second one was about 250lbs @ 5ft and looks like a bowling ball with feet. She also looks 10 years older than she actually is. The one after her had a fricken face tattoo. There's been a few more and not one of them are good looking. I swear if you stripped them for their best features and put together Franken-ho, you'd have a 5 at best. The thing he wants most is control and a submissive woman that just goes along with anything he says. Ain't going to happen. Even these women have been dumping him because no one is going to put up with his sh*t.
12/22/2016 2:47 pm
Thanks so much for the update. He is yours!!! 
12/22/2016 2:32 pm
UPDATE:
Okay - whew! - well Lanie is NOT kidding when she says a little goes a long way. I was so eager to work the energy on my husband, that I probably over-corrected, lol. I can absolutely attest to the power of this technique; not only on my husband, but on the other woman as well. I have not been focusing on her, per se, but when my thoughts land on her at any point in my day (which, at first was A LOT but has lessened over the course of this week - let's hope that continues because I do not want that trash taking up real estate in my head) I imagine her with her back to me and I see myself pointing to an imaginary 'door' and saying "out". I do not 'meditate' on her. I do not focus deliberate attention on her. But anytime she crosses my mind, I just point to the door. Also, it seems to be helping ME feel better; as if she really isn't a problem for me at all, more of a pest to just shew away. Well, it seems to be working. She has all but stopped calling him, texting him, asking for handy-man help at her apartment (this woman lives in the same complex as we do - so unbelievably horrible but, I am choosing to believe this is all temporary) and when she was able to snare him for a few hours to watch her kids (she has a problem with getting pregnant from other womens husbands) he came home with cash. She paid him and he was sad about it! She is treating him like someone whose services are no longer required. And she hasn't contacted him in 3 days!!! Meanwhile, the first day after my initial post, my husband and I basically ravished one another in the kitchen and then didn't really know where to put that, lol. It had been so long since we had shared that level of intense love-making that he withdrew from me almost immediately. But he has been helping me everyday in strange little ways - things he never (or rarely) did before and probably what contributed to so much tension in our marriage to begin with, because I really did resent him since having our daughter for not being more helpful when he's home. But he's making the coffee in the morning now, starting up my car on cold mornings so that it's nice and warm for me by the time I need to leave, playing more with our little girl and really making an effort to notice what needs doing, rather than me having to ask. Yesterday, he came up behind me as I was finishing up dinner dishes and he just took over. He has NEVER done that. Ever. In seven years of marriage he has never just offered to finish up so I could go sit down. Mind blown. Today we took a shower together and just held each other and kissed (I won't get TMI - but it was really tender and emotional). He's still sleeping downstairs. And he's not yet "there" with regard to feeling in-love with me again. But I keep mindfully visualizing myself looking into his eyes and whispering prompts like Lanie says to do ("I'm the only woman you want, need and love" or I'll say "thank you for helping me save our love") and really trying to be appreciative as if he has already changed. Ladies: this is working. I mean, I'm still crossing all my bits and knocking on all the wood, lol. But I am telling you, it is a marked difference all around. -Hattie
That's great news! I'm happy for you! Now keep on doing the methods. Did you do the method the day after you posted this thread? Cuz you said the day after your initial post, you and your husband had a special moment together?
12/19/2016 2:10 am
UPDATE:
Okay - whew! - well Lanie is NOT kidding when she says a little goes a long way. I was so eager to work the energy on my husband, that I probably over-corrected, lol. I can absolutely attest to the power of this technique; not only on my husband, but on the other woman as well. I have not been focusing on her, per se, but when my thoughts land on her at any point in my day (which, at first was A LOT but has lessened over the course of this week - let's hope that continues because I do not want that trash taking up real estate in my head) I imagine her with her back to me and I see myself pointing to an imaginary 'door' and saying "out". I do not 'meditate' on her. I do not focus deliberate attention on her. But anytime she crosses my mind, I just point to the door. Also, it seems to be helping ME feel better; as if she really isn't a problem for me at all, more of a pest to just shew away. Well, it seems to be working. She has all but stopped calling him, texting him, asking for handy-man help at her apartment (this woman lives in the same complex as we do - so unbelievably horrible but, I am choosing to believe this is all temporary) and when she was able to snare him for a few hours to watch her kids (she has a problem with getting pregnant from other womens husbands) he came home with cash. She paid him and he was sad about it! She is treating him like someone whose services are no longer required. And she hasn't contacted him in 3 days!!! Meanwhile, the first day after my initial post, my husband and I basically ravished one another in the kitchen and then didn't really know where to put that, lol. It had been so long since we had shared that level of intense love-making that he withdrew from me almost immediately. But he has been helping me everyday in strange little ways - things he never (or rarely) did before and probably what contributed to so much tension in our marriage to begin with, because I really did resent him since having our daughter for not being more helpful when he's home. But he's making the coffee in the morning now, starting up my car on cold mornings so that it's nice and warm for me by the time I need to leave, playing more with our little girl and really making an effort to notice what needs doing, rather than me having to ask. Yesterday, he came up behind me as I was finishing up dinner dishes and he just took over. He has NEVER done that. Ever. In seven years of marriage he has never just offered to finish up so I could go sit down. Mind blown. Today we took a shower together and just held each other and kissed (I won't get TMI - but it was really tender and emotional). He's still sleeping downstairs. And he's not yet "there" with regard to feeling in-love with me again. But I keep mindfully visualizing myself looking into his eyes and whispering prompts like Lanie says to do ("I'm the only woman you want, need and love" or I'll say "thank you for helping me save our love") and really trying to be appreciative as if he has already changed. Ladies: this is working. I mean, I'm still crossing all my bits and knocking on all the wood, lol. But I am telling you, it is a marked difference all around. -Hattie
12/14/2016 4:57 pm
just that she is so homely and unkempt and genuinely horrid. She has an obnoxious personality, no one can stand to be around her, she is always a slob and yet she manages to snare married and/or otherwise committed men all the time. There must be something.
Hattie - so sorry this has been happening to you. I know how frustrating it is to have someone like that seduce and hold your husband's attention especially when she sounds so cheap and low class.
Your description of her reminded me of an article I saved years ago (to review when I get married) and I think it might give you some insight into why all these men are cheating with her:
I highlighted this paragraph:
"The women who are your competition are the one's who make your husband feel important, interesting, capable, and attractive. The admiring secretary has a much better chance of having an affair with your husband than the young beauty who lives next door--even if she is ten years older than you! To keep your husband attracted to you, you need to make your husband feel young (even if he's 60), attractive, important, and interesting. Don't do it because you fear losing him (that would be needy), but do it because you love him and because that's part of what it really means to be married."
It's not very likely that this woman is doing these visualization techniques; she probably doesn't need them. Manipulators have their own way of getting what they want, and she's either making these guys feel like kings or doing the opposite - being an absolute demanding bitch (many guys respond to this).
Whatever it is - you CAN turn this around. Step back and ask yourself how do you want things to BE? (This question has helped me a lot when things were spiraling downhill.)
We're all cheering and rooting for you... please update us on how things are progressing! Wish you LOTS OF success! Your husband ain't going anywhere, he's yours and ONLY yours.
Thank you for writing this. These were my exact same thoughts. When I found out that my ex was cheating on me, I expected her to be a supermodel type, way younger. I met her, and I thought WTF? She was unattractive, unkempt, uneducated. But the thing is she was making him feel like a winner. She took every opportunity to compliment him. He was on a pedestal with her. Of course these relationships don't last, but that's the attraction. He feels good about himself with her.
I don't think she's using anything except making him feel like a winner. So, with Lanie's technique, there's a definite edge that she doesn't have.
12/14/2016 4:19 pm
just that she is so homely and unkempt and genuinely horrid. She has an obnoxious personality, no one can stand to be around her, she is always a slob and yet she manages to snare married and/or otherwise committed men all the time. There must be something.
Hattie - so sorry this has been happening to you. I know how frustrating it is to have someone like that seduce and hold your husband's attention especially when she sounds so cheap and low class.
Your description of her reminded me of an article I saved years ago (to review when I get married) and I think it might give you some insight into why all these men are cheating with her:
I highlighted this paragraph:
"The women who are your competition are the one's who make your husband feel important, interesting, capable, and attractive. The admiring secretary has a much better chance of having an affair with your husband than the young beauty who lives next door--even if she is ten years older than you! To keep your husband attracted to you, you need to make your husband feel young (even if he's 60), attractive, important, and interesting. Don't do it because you fear losing him (that would be needy), but do it because you love him and because that's part of what it really means to be married."
It's not very likely that this woman is doing these visualization techniques; she probably doesn't need them. Manipulators have their own way of getting what they want, and she's either making these guys feel like kings or doing the opposite - being an absolute demanding bitch (many guys respond to this).
Whatever it is - you CAN turn this around. Step back and ask yourself how do you want things to BE? (This question has helped me a lot when things were spiraling downhill.)
We're all cheering and rooting for you... please update us on how things are progressing! Wish you LOTS OF success! Your husband ain't going anywhere, he's yours and ONLY yours.
12/14/2016 3:33 pm
Hi Hattie, like DC I have also been there and I won him back last year with the attitude that there was no woman on earth going to introduce herself into my life and ruin my relationship. I did not at that time know anything about LOA or Lanie's methods. When I had to give him an ultimatum he chose me, but I still lost him this year to her after an argument. Do not let this woman take your man. The woman you describe is very much the same type of woman that manipulated my ex and is now married to him. Win back your man my love for yourself and your daughter. Use the 'power' that you have through the techniques and your knowledge of LOA. Remember this is your man!!!
12/14/2016 12:41 pm
I replied to DC last night but I don't see the post; basically I just said that I really have no concrete way to know if the other woman is using PW strategies, just that she is so homely and unkempt and genuinely horrid. She has an obnoxious personality, no one can stand to be around her, she is always a slob and yet she manages to snare married and/or otherwise committed men all the time. There must be something. She is no where near my husbands type, but - I am very appreciative of the link for more techniques and tips. I am not letting this temporary insanity unravel my entire marriage. Thanks ladies for listening xoxo Hope to provide wonderful updates on my success!
12/13/2016 11:12 pm
Hi!!! I'm really sorry about your situation, and sadly I've been there. I would look at Dr Lee Baucom's material. Lots of awesome free podcasts and combine that with Lanie's methods.
His approach works to heal relationships.
His material is the best in the league and I did a ton of research at the time. From what I recall, if you buy his book, you get a free coaching session.
The one thing I would caution you against is doing something based on your emotional state. You can absolutely have him back, if that's what you want but, if you seem irrational aka flying off the handle, you're just going to push him into her arms. The cooler you can play, the more leverage you have. This doesn't mean accepting his behaviour, but rather not screaming and yelling or causing drama. Read or listen to his material. He'll teach you the kinds of conversations to have while you influence him energetically with Lanie's methods. Best of luck!
I'm curious though, how do you know she's using this method?
12/13/2016 10:05 pm
My husband of 7 years fell prey to a vamp of a woman who has broken more homes than I can count; the more people hear of my story, the more names drop of whose husband she slept with before. Problem is, I KNOW she is using this technique to lure the men she gets - I recognize the tricks! I don't envy the karma coming her way, but how do I save my husband from her expert clutches? He will not let her go but we are still married and he still loves me. I would NOT waste my energy on a cheater if I didn't know he is truly a good man and father to our little three year old daughter; I am NOT about to let this villain ruin my marriage. My question is; will our history and family/home life play more of a powerful role in seducing him back? Or should I focus my attention on her standing the f*ck down?!?! How a sister could do this to another womans man when she knows me, (we are neighbors - we live in a VERY small town and she is working her way down a veritable list of young, attractive UNAVAILABLE men - almost like she wants to see how far she can take it). He is in danger with this tramp! I'm at my wits end. The sexual energy is still strong between us, it's the confused emotional tug-of-war that he is feeling. What do I do?
Hattie the love you have between you and the child is a very strong emotional pull that is hard to break but you must do everything you can. You know him well and you will know whether an ultimatum will work or not. A lot of men will rebel if they are given one but he can't be allowed to continue to have you both.
I have an acquaintance whose husband had an affair and she threw him out. He ended up marrying the other woman and they have been together 20 years. Backfired. A friend of mine had the same thing happen. Both men said they were in love with their wife AND the other woman. Since the wife made the decision to let them go they were off the hook for the decision. Only you know whether you are ready to risk losing them but it will hard on you and your self-esteem to hold on.
Do the technique and visualize him being MADLY in love with you like in the beginning of the relationship. Send him love and feel him sending it back to you. Tell him "you will think of me when you are with her" or hear him say "I'm sorry and I will never leave or hurt you". xoxoxoxoxo
This is what I needed to hear xoxo Thank you so much. I refuse to give up on seven years over a 3 month glitch in his Matrix! I know I can win him back and now I have the tools to do it effectively, without feeling like a sucker OR a door mat. I'll keep you posted. <3
12/13/2016 9:51 pm
I'm so grateful for all of the quick advice; I agree that this is completely in the realm (well, 'mostly') of his own free agency - I can only do so much. But yes! I have absolutely told him I have more self respect than to share him willingly with this woman and he refused to end it. For at least another year, I am financially tethered to the home we share; my hope is two fold: that she loses interest (precisely as Sushi said; this woman likes toys. She seems to tire of them quickly, unless they provide a lot of juicy drama for her - which I, sadly, did just that when I confronted her several weeks ago before I knew the technique. I would NEVER have given her so much emotional leverage had I read Lanie's book before) and 2ndly, this time sharing our family home, practicing the technique and genuinely just feeding my own soul and being a loving mom will lure him back naturally <3 Love my sisters! Thank you for the support - I feel it!
12/13/2016 9:40 pm
Ok, being realistic here for a minute. If its true that she's had a long list of other people's husbands, what makes you think she's going to stop with yours? While I wouldn't wish her onto someone else's marriage, the chances are, if this has been her M.O. she'll lose interest and move on to the next guy. She doesn't sound like the type that wants to take your husband and settle down with him. So in a way, the fact that she's goes through a lot of them quickly is kind of good news. Call your husband back to you and seduce him with the method.
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