wanderlusting wrote:

This is my issue with the NC rule. I know a lot of people and "gurus" suggest that there is a minimum 30 day NC period that you are supposed to go through before you make an attempt to reach out. While I am currently going through NC right now, I get a little unsure on how to proceed after the 30 days. One of the reasons he told me that we broke up, was because he didn't want to focus on a relationship and that he just wanted space and time to focus on himself only, nothing else. Well, knowing this is a guy we are talking to, that could be anything from 1 week to years down the road. So my concern is, what if I contact him before he is "ready" to focus on outside things. Wouldn't that push him further away because it would be like I am not respecting his decision and his wishes? So a part of me wants to wait until he makes the first contact but then again, I really don't feel like waiting around months and years for that to happen. 

The thing about the NC rule is that it musn't feel as waiting. The 30 days NC is not about just sitting around and wait until the 30 days are over (to say it a bit bold like this). The most important thing about NC is that you use the time to focus on yourself and heal yourself. Make yourself feel good, enjoy spending time with family/friends, pick up some old or new hobbies, go out, meet new people.. Who are you without your partner? Find back that spark in you

I think the "gurus" set a 30 day range because it takes approx 21 days to make a habit. I would advice to only contact him through PW. Let him initiate the conversation. I manifested contact multiple times, but I let my insecurities in and so the contact fade away..

Before I got into LOA I used the " 30 day rule", after this I contacted him with a 'fishing/story telling' text like : " You never guess where I am going to do my internship!" .. From that moment on we had such nice conversations/contact on and off for a few weeks (however I didn't know he was starting to see some rebound girl). But even when he and his temporary girl made it official, he kept contacting me (when they were together for 6+ months he texted how he'd dreamt about being in a relationship with me, complimanting me on my looks and even drunk dialing me at night).. So I just know, that even without contact and a strange "reality" echoing from my previous thoughts, he still thinks about me. I got into LOA a few weeks after those text and I use it frequently to contact him and visualize my desired outcome. I know now that after those 30 days when I contacted him, we were both not in the place to give our relationship a shot again. We both first needed to grow in life. And when we are both ready, the universe will manifest my desire you just have to believe! 

isabellemarienoelle wrote:

I am on my no contact still but I have not heard form him
I need to start having more positive thoughts though, A lot of my thought are about how much I miss him, and that is not productive.
Need to work on myself first.
 

Just switch them around. When you feel like you're missing him, change your thought to how he's missing you and can't live without you. 

I'm glad I read this again.

The universe was literally kicking my ass last week about this message. So I have no choice but to give into the vibration of allowing.

Cheriesymone wrote:

ChaliceSnowFlower wrote:

Lanie Stevens wrote:

Even though we are back together I send him thoughts every day to reinforce our connection and the love we have.  That's one of the reasons he is crazier about me (self admitted) than he has ever been before.  I never wonder where he is, what he is doing or who he is with....I KNOW that I can contact him and have him thinking of me within seconds.  It is an empowering feeling.    The way to keep your man is to think positive thoughts about him, yourself and the two of you.  That is true whether you are together or apart (and you want him back).  You become like a magnet or a drug that they need, want and desire.  Cool stuff.  LOL

Oh no, he might get a sweet tooth.
Best Regards,
Shana Jahsinta Walters.

This is great ..need to remember this. 

 
Love this.  Thank you

I am on my no contact still but I have not heard form him
I need to start having more positive thoughts though, A lot of my thought are about how much I miss him, and that is not productive.
Need to work on myself first.
 

Lanie Stevens wrote:

Even though we are back together I send him thoughts every day to reinforce our connection and the love we have.  That's one of the reasons he is crazier about me (self admitted) than he has ever been before.  I never wonder where he is, what he is doing or who he is with....I KNOW that I can contact him and have him thinking of me within seconds.  It is an empowering feeling.    The way to keep your man is to think positive thoughts about him, yourself and the two of you.  That is true whether you are together or apart (and you want him back).  You become like a magnet or a drug that they need, want and desire.  Cool stuff.  LOL

Oh no, he might get a sweet tooth.

Best Regards,
Shana Jahsinta Walters.

Lanie Stevens wrote:

Oasiscalm wrote:

No contact is the way to go.

I tell all my girlfriends to do it. A lot don't listen and I know it is difficult but it is one of those processes that when you get out on the other side you realise how much stronger you feel having just worked through things in your own time. It will be a bit of a roller coaster of emotions, if you believe you won't be strong enough to not contact them then delete delete delete. Remove the temptation.

Even now although me and my love are on speaking terms I never initiate contact. It puts you in a place of power and that's where we need to be coming from.

I was with my fiancé' 4 years when we broke up.  I immediately deleted all of his contact information.  With smart phones who knows phone numbers, etc?  I could have looked it up on my bill or something if I became a nut case but I didn't.  I sent him messages I knew he would receive and be unable to block.  The power of my thoughts.  

 "I sent him messages I knew he would receive and be unable to block.  The power of my thoughts"

I LOVE the way you have described this, Lanie! So empowering! 
 

Lanie Stevens wrote:

I was with my fiancé' 4 years when we broke up.  I immediately deleted all of his contact information.  With smart phones who knows phone numbers, etc?  I could have looked it up on my bill or something if I became a nut case but I didn't.  I sent him messages I knew he would receive and be unable to block.  The power of my thoughts.  

Pure gold right here.

Best Regards,
Shana Jahsinta Walters.