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[quote=violetback]Hi there, I have been reading Lanie's book for awhile n having ups n downs...I don't sure what to desire, Ex n I started a biz when we first started dating. Broke up 2 yrs ago n he had a new relationship months later. He came back (while still dating her), we kept being somewhat more than just friend...not intimately. She found out and broke up with him n earlier this year, they got back together. I have been feeling ups (while i could detach) n downs all along and it's very difficult. Neither of us would leave the biz in near future, and he keeps trying to be friend. For me, it's 1 or 0...it's been a battle for me deep down that i want him back / completely out of my life. i know he still has feelings for me but not enough to do much about it. I did PW once awhile n i can see he's getting much attached (call me every morning to wake me up...ask me for lunch, text after work). But the more of these the more doubt of myself comes, will this be another time like the last time? he just wants me as work buddy (he said so)? is he just using me to fill the void? I had that thought that I am not good enough for him to commit compare to her...it's been haunting me. I don't know what to desire. I will be happy if he values me as a life partner. Someone he wanna spend his time and effort to be with. Btw, I tried to meet new ppl after we broke up but i couldn't fall in love for any one of time for long, usually the relationship ends itself in 1-2 months...I feel i have no choice n being stuck. [img]http://cdn.boardhost.com/emoticons/normal.png[/img] Thanks for reading, I feel shame to talk to my friends because they think he doesn't worth my emotion n make me feel even worse. it's nice to write it out =] Appreciate all your reply!  [/quote]