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[quote=wanderlusting]Thank you for my comment. I had always worried throughout our relationship these past 3 years that he would turn around and do what he did to me 3 years ago and I know that due to my constant worries and insecurities, I manifested him doing just that. He left me and has always been with someone else and it deeply does hurt me. Because to me, if you love someone and you truly care about them, broken up or not, you wouldn't be able to go and throw yourself at someone else, especially in 2.5 weeks time after the break up. But I guess this is where my opinion differs from others. We just spent 9 weeks together in another country and after I left that is when he realized that he didn't want to be in a relationship anymore because it was just too much for him (accusations, insecurities, jealousy, constant worrying). I pushed him away and I now know that and I focused on all the wrong things. Now I am in therapy to try and overcome some issues that I never fully overcame in my past so that I can be healthy minded and not make the same mistakes that I had previously made. He told me that while he has feelings and loves me, that we are not right for each other and he has had plenty of time to himself to come to that conclusion. So if he doesn't think we are right for each other and has all these negative associations with me, how or even better yet, why would he come back to me? We have done the break up thing before where he was with other girls and told me that all he could think about was me and even though we weren't together, he still felt guilty for doing so and realized how good he had it with me and eventually came back. Now this time around he is telling me that he loves being with other girls and is having the time of his life and that he had fun hooking up with someone else and didn't feel any remorse or guilt. That hurts. He is actually encouraging me to go out and be with other guys now, something he has never done before. He is dead set in his decision to let me go and move on.  [quote=Jag123]Wanderlust - I know just what you're going through.  I met my boy almost  2 years ago, the attraction was instant and we fell in love pretty quickly.  It freaked him out entirely.  He left me without warning for another woman.  I was absolutely devastated, particularly as he told me all of the same things yours said to you " I don't want a relationship, I don't want to settle - I love you but I can't".  My first thought was why her and not me.  I was heartbroken, but there was something in me that said "This isn't the end"  To cut this long story short, we re-connected after a period of time and it was then that he told me how hard it had been for him while we had been apart.  He never stopped thinking of me, and no woman he either went out with or slept with compared.  He had fallen in love with me. The feelings were so intense he had to get away from it, and he got with this girl (who without being rude, was no me. lol!) because he knew it would go nowhere and mean nothing.  He has said to me on a number of occassions when we get together he knows this is it. There won't be a break up.  He says he is afraid of messing things up and losing me.  If I knew then what I  knew now, I would have relaxed.  I would have known that men don't confess feelings like that without meaning them - whatever actions they take.  If you look at how our stories mirror, I do believe he is "finding himself".  I believe he wants to be the best he can be for your relationship, perhaps at the moment the timing isn't quite right.   It has worked though - you haven't manifested a hook up or a fling, you've manifested a man who loves you.  I'd take that over a guy who was overtaken with lust for a short period.  My advice to you is graciously give him his space. Say you understand and put the focus back on yourself.  A) he won't be expecting it and B) The more you focus on yourself and how wonderful you are, your vibration will raise to match it.  I guarantee the moment you detatch with love and self love, he will be come back and be yours. Trust me it happened to me.... I just ruined it again by forgetting my own power and wanting to rush things... You are nearly there, you just don't realise it....yet.[/quote]  [/quote]