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[quote=wanderlusting]I did read the article earlier but I still have my reservations about free will. Yes, we can influence someone else but they have to be to be open and receptive of your influencing. So in my situation, I am trying to "influence" my ex boyfriend to give me another chance and for us to be together again, he is "influencing" himself to stay single and sow his wild oats. We are both vibrating on different frequencies and we are both wanting different things. Now as far as the conscious and subconscious is concerned, if enough bad things have happened in a relationship (lots of arguing and fighting, negative associations when you think about that person or the relationship, the "flaws" you don't like about that person and their personality), they become engraved into the subconscious mind; because of the feelings associated with it. Now he feels happier now that he isn't in a relationship and is able to do all the things he wasn't able to do while in a relationship so he is already using his feelings now to convince his subconscious and working against me due to the negative associations. In order to bypass the conscious mind that is telling him to stay single and not get back together with me, I would have to tap into his subconscious and eliminate those negative feelings that he has buried deep in there for me. This is where the whole male psychology comes into play when it is talking about tapping into a man's emotional side and not his logical side. Logic is reasons and why a break up came about, emotions are what drove him to have the conscious thought and act it out. Now, this is where it gets twisted, in order to apply to his emotional side, we would have to talk, hang out, spend time together, and still be in each others' lives, one thing is said he doesn't want again. So there is where I am once again stuck..... [quote=pixelpie][quote=wanderlusting]I know thinking and feeling are different things but what about "free will" and how others have that. Wouldn't it not matter how much I wanted something and how I didn't want certain things to happen that if the other person wanted to do it regardless of what you were trying to manifest, wouldn't it happen either way because they made the decision to be with someone else regardless of how you felt about it.  [quote=pixelpie] Again I am very sorry that you have gone through all of this. But to understand what I mean. You must understandwhat I mean when I say the word assume I'm not talking about words. I am talking about feelings. The way neville used the word. And from what you've said it seems while you did not want to think he'd done something to hurt you as people around said. You still assumed the feeling of "he will hurt me" and that could have come in any shape. I think the only reason it showed up in the shape of another person *this girl* is because the people around you were telling you that story they had no proof. So when you tell a story and/or hear it over and over again *which is what happen here* and pair it with a feeling of hurt, worry, doubt, or guilt etc. The negative story will be made real. It works just the same for positive things too. My point is for anything to be made real it comes from how you *FEEL* about the story you are telling yourself and others or hearing. The words help,yes. But what you get to see in the everyday real life is the feelings you assumed and felt as true. Jag also gave you a key example of this when she said she lied to herself about her guy but the lie didn't feel real. Again everything starts and ends with how you feel about whatever it is. Had she at the time felt the story she was tell really true of herself in those moments she wouldn't be on here at all. Because she would be living a different story. But noting is lost. The beauty of things is that we as humans can pick and choose how we feel about anything. And that's all LOA is showing you. How to run your feeling in such a way that you live in the happy agreeable life you want how you want. And not to continue to let your feels run you in such a way that you feel out of control of everything.[/quote]  [/quote] Have you read this? http://laniestevensforum.boardhost.com/viewtopic_mobile.php?id=1342 Free will it's a real thing. The truth is you pick and choose how you experience stuff or other people knowing or unknowingly will. Because we are all energy that is in constant flux. We influence everything around us just as it influences us.[/quote]  [/quote]