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[quote=LightReading][quote=Oasiscalm][quote=LightReading]Another question:  my understanding is that we should avoid negative thoughts. But negative thoughts are natural. How can I make any negative emotions about this situation move me closer to my meditation goal besides bottling them up?  [/quote] An analogue for you imagine you were driving down a road and there were roadwork which had closed the rest of the road off. What would you do? Would you try to drive through them? Would you stay in the middle of the road waiting for the road to reopen? Or would you despite being annoyed, accept that you can't drive down that road any further, turn your car around and find a new route. Because that exactly how you should see your situation as it stands. The road that you are currently on to your ex is blocked/closed. So u can sit where u are allowing the sight of it keep bringing up negative emotions. Or you can ACCEPT what's happened, release it as actions of the past which no longer need to have an effect on you. And turn yourself around on to a new route i.e. Becoming a deliberate creator. Yes negative thoughts and emotions are natural and they do come up but you have to train yourself to not entertain them. You don't need to bottle them up, in fact I would strongly advise you not to bottle them up. Find a pway to release them and as time goes by they lose their power and appear a lot less.[/quote] So acknowledge them, but don't let them overtake me? Hmmm, I may need to get back to exercising regularly. That seemed to help with emotional control.   [/quote]