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[quote=getitgirl][quote=Hattie]just that she is so homely and unkempt and genuinely horrid. She has an obnoxious personality, no one can stand to be around her, she is always a slob and yet she manages to snare married and/or otherwise committed men all the time. There must be something.[/quote] Hattie - so sorry this has been happening to you. I know how frustrating it is to have someone like that seduce and hold your husband's attention especially when she sounds so cheap and low class.  Your description of her reminded me of an article I saved years ago (to review when I get married) and I think it might give you some insight into why all these men are cheating with her: http://relationship-coach.org/Attractiveness/what-is-attractive-to-others.html I highlighted this paragraph: "The women who are your competition are the one's who make your husband feel important, interesting, capable, and attractive. The admiring secretary has a much better chance of having an affair with your husband than the young beauty who lives next door--even if she is ten years older than you! To keep your husband attracted to you, you need to make your husband feel young (even if he's 60), attractive, important, and interesting. Don't do it because you fear losing him (that would be needy), but do it because you love him and because that's part of what it really means to be married." It's not very likely that this woman is doing these visualization techniques; she probably doesn't need them. Manipulators have their own way of getting what they want, and she's either making these guys feel like kings or doing the opposite - being an absolute demanding bitch (many guys respond to this).  Whatever it is - you CAN turn this around. Step back and ask yourself how do you want things to BE? (This question has helped me a lot when things were spiraling downhill.)  We're all cheering and rooting for you... please update us on how things are progressing! Wish you LOTS OF success! Your husband ain't going anywhere, he's yours and ONLY yours. [/quote]