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[quote=Hattie]UPDATE: Okay - whew! - well Lanie is NOT kidding when she says a little goes a long way. I was so eager to work the energy on my husband, that I probably over-corrected, lol. I can absolutely attest to the power of this technique; not only on my husband, but on the other woman as well. I have not been focusing on her, per se, but when my thoughts land on her at any point in my day (which, at first was A LOT but has lessened over the course of this week - let's hope that continues because I do not want that trash taking up real estate in my head) I imagine her with her back to me and I see myself pointing to an imaginary 'door' and saying "out". I do not 'meditate' on her. I do not focus deliberate attention on her. But anytime she crosses my mind, I just point to the door. Also, it seems to be helping ME feel better; as if she really isn't a problem for me at all, more of a pest to just shew away. Well, it seems to be working. She has all but stopped calling him, texting him, asking for handy-man help at her apartment (this woman lives in the same complex as we do - so unbelievably horrible but, I am choosing to believe this is all temporary) and when she was able to snare him for a few hours to watch her kids (she has a problem with getting pregnant from other womens husbands) he came home with cash. She paid him and he was sad about it! She is treating him like someone whose services are no longer required. And she hasn't contacted him in 3 days!!! Meanwhile, the first day after my initial post, my husband and I basically ravished one another in the kitchen and then didn't really know where to put that, lol. It had been so long since we had shared that level of intense love-making that he withdrew from me almost immediately. But he has been helping me everyday in strange little ways - things he never (or rarely) did before and probably what contributed to so much tension in our marriage to begin with, because I really did resent him since having our daughter for not being more helpful when he's home. But he's making the coffee in the morning now, starting up my car on cold mornings so that it's nice and warm for me by the time I need to leave, playing more with our little girl and really making an effort to notice what needs doing, rather than me having to ask. Yesterday, he came up behind me as I was finishing up dinner dishes and he just took over. He has NEVER done that. Ever. In seven years of marriage he has never just offered to finish up so I could go sit down. Mind blown. Today we took a shower together and just held each other and kissed (I won't get TMI - but it was really tender and emotional). He's still sleeping downstairs. And he's not yet "there" with regard to feeling in-love with me again. But I keep mindfully visualizing myself looking into his eyes and whispering prompts like Lanie says to do ("I'm the only woman you want, need and love" or I'll say "thank you for helping me save our love") and really trying to be appreciative as if he has already changed. Ladies: this is working. I mean, I'm still crossing all my bits and knocking on all the wood, lol. But I am telling you, it is a marked difference all around. -Hattie[/quote]