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[quote=wanderlusting]Thanks for your comment. I did happen to see him the other night when I was downtown working on photography and he met up with me because he wanted to see me and I agreed so that we could talk. He told me that he has been focusing on himself lately, hasn't been doing the going out thing hardly anymore or really drinking, and that there hasn't been other girls either. He did tell me that he is going to work on himself and that he is also going to go to therapy to try and change his ways. He told me that while he still loves me and his feelings haven't changed, that he isn't going to act upon them and that instead of working towards a relationship, that we need to work towards us getting along first because he doesn't entertain a future because of that. He admits that he does hold a lot of grudges against me from our relationship. He said that he just doesn't want a relationship right now and that while he knows that he was really selfish in our relationship and it caused problems, he is embracing his selfishness right now. I guess he just wants to get his life together and in order before entertaining the idea of us getting back together. He has been texting me the past couple of days and trying to see me but I keep turning him down because I still need to work on myself and have higher priorities and I don't want the drama or the tension. I want him to be able to see me in a positive light and I know that it is going to take some time in doing so. He did disappear last night from texting after I said that I didn't want arguing or drama and wanted to have a good night when I rejected his invite to go to his house because I could feel some hostility through texting because he is stressed out with doing art work for presents this year for Christmas. If there is one thing that my therapist has told me, the only thing he is consistent at, is being inconsistent. I get so confused because I feel like it is a power struggle. But to answer your question, he is frustrated at me because I want to talk more, hang out more, and "am pushy for a relationship" again so that causes him to back away and disappear for days to sometimes a couple of weeks. As far as maturity for a relationship, he told me that he does like being single and the freedom that comes along with being single. He said it wasn't the partying or the other girls but that he can come and go as he pleases and not have to worry about how someone else is going to react to him doing what he wants to do. Granted, we were in a relationship on and off for 6 years with 2-3 year increments.  [quote=emmiline]Hi sweetie, thanks for updating us with your progress. What exactly is he frustrated by, you telling him you need a breather? Now he is pinning it on you complaining you havent changed? He needs to get it together. From what im reading you are investing a lot in your personal growth and that is wonderful. I dont think he can handle you, and if he deals with his issues by partying, getting wasted and hooking up with random women - you are dodging a bullet here. Ask yourself why do you want to be on the same page with someone like that? i dont think he is mature enough to be in a relationship at all.[/quote]  [/quote]