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[quote=Blue][quote=wanderlusting]I only say those things because these are all the things that he keeps telling me. I have done visualizations of different things being said and also writing in my journal positive affirmations and things that I want to happen and be said but I always get the opposite response from him no matter how positive and optimistic I try to be. But you're absolutely right, I do need to change my mindset, despite what he may be telling me or how he may be behaving right now. How long do you think I should do NC? I did that right after the break up and 3 weeks in, he was showing up at my house. But I do worry, which I know I am not supposed to do, that if I do NC again, that he will completely give up and disappear for good. [/quote] IT DOES NOT MATTER WHAT HE TELLS YOU!! You need to do NC until he reaches out because you're giving him too much power of you. He will not disappear but if you keep worrying about it and giving that worry power - then he WILL disappear.[/quote]