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[quote=Indigo][quote=smalmo]Somehow now I feel more miserable after posting this here..it is hard to explain the intimacy and the depth of the relationship in just a few words..obviously this matters to me as I spent 2 good years with the man and hence I am here seeking your help..also Lanie said in her books we can use meditation on any guy we want..and here I am talking about the man I was about to get married to..to you it may be not a situation to meditate but to me when I have almost reached a situation of despair after giving my 2 good years to this relationship...this matters to me more than anything else in my life right now..perhaps I shouldn't have posted my concerns here..   [/quote]       You can meditate on any man, but in this situation I don't see the point.  Someone else may have another opinion that is different, but I've been married twice and that's how I see it.  For me, it doesn't take two years to get married.  If you met each other on a people seeking marriage site and you both wanted to get married then there should have been a set time-line (most likely set by the woman) an  engagement and then on to planning the wedding, whether large or small, who is going to pay for it, and then having the wedding ceremony.  If a man starts hemming and hawing and talking about his past relationships "[color=#01010f]scared him too much to take another risk in his life" that's just some lame excuse to string you along.  [/color]I've been accused of speculating so I'm not going to do that now, but I have my suspicions about what went wrong.  This isn't necessarily anyone's fault, things just happened.   Anyway, I'm sorry that what I have said has upset you, but that's how I see it based on what you have stated.  You can meditate on this if you want, but 2 years is not a long time in the grand scheme of life.   You can continue to pursue him through meditation, but if you decide not to, forget that any of this ever happened, go back to the marriage site, find another one and make a plan for actually getting married.          [/quote]