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[quote=Indigo][quote=smalmo]No no its all fine :) perhaps I am too emotional to see the reality here..you are right I didn't put any pressure for us to get married and when I did it backfired..i do certainly want him back as apart from the commitment issue he is exactly what I seek in a man and more than anything I love him too much to loose him :(   [/quote]    That's good because I was worried about you.    Lanie has a couple of books that may help you.  One is Book 3, PP.  In there she tells you things you need to do and not do to get and keep your man.  Then she has a brand new one - BREAKUP to MAKEUP: Getting Your "Ex" Back: (Dating & Relationship Advice) (FOR WOMEN ONLY Bk 4) She teaches common sense things like do not become physical with your man before you have established an emotional bond and explains why you should not chase him, stalk him, beg, plead, act desperate, etc., because it gives him the upper-hand.  Lots of things that we either don't know or sometimes forget.        [/quote]