Lanie Stevens "Empowering Women" - http://laniestevens.com
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[quote=Layla][quote=Indigo][quote=Layla]Thank you! I bought BU2MU! I will read it tonight! In my case, we decided to be friends after the breakup. I have a tough personal issue going on now and he has promised me to always support me as a genuine friend. I think in my heart I know he will always be there for me, but I subconsciously fear he will leave. In the past few weeks, he has been blowing hot and cold. Sometimes he is a normal friend who initiates and provides me valuable support that I need. But most recently he has been ignoring my texts, even serious ones. It gives me the feeling he is treating me "less than a friend." I do not think it's what he's doing that is bothering me, but what I *think" he is doing. I would ask myself, 'is he being a jerk on purpose? Is he trying to cut me off?" But I think it's all in my head... I give him excuses that..oh he is just super busy, etc. When I do NC for a few days, I feel better, but I can't imagine doing it long run. I'm scared he'll take it as "oh good, you've moved on," ... But actually the reason I prefer to keep in touch is because I DO need his support for the issue I'm going through, only he knows about it.. What should I do? [/quote] If the two of you agreed to be friends and he promised to always support you but now he's ignoring you when you call indicates that something is not right. Have you spoken to him about this? Is he a reliable person? You cannot force him to stay in touch but if you have a serious problem and he knows you rely on him then he needs to come through for you or you need to get a better friend. Real friends that I confide in and trust, I expect them to be there for me no matter if I call them during regular business hours or in the middle of the night, and they can call me anytime also. If we miss the call then we get back to each other in a timely manner, especially if we know that it's something important. That's what real friends do and I don't think it's too much to ask or expect. If you are friends, then let him know what you think about it and find out what's up. Don't come at him from a scared and needy position, but from a powerful position of strength. Let him know that you need to be able to count on him otherwise he can scoot. [/quote] I called and he picked up right away, even at work. And he texted me after for a bit. But I am expecting a lot more... Maybe I should not have expectations right now. Even a few weeks ago he had been super supportive. But most recently, he seems a bit down. Honestly, I think it could just busyness and he's having mood swings and it's not related to me. I am afraid to ask because I fear whatever the truth is. I have all sorts of paranoia such as, his new gf found out he's still talking to me and she's forbidding him, he doesn't want to tell me what's going on in his life because it would hurt me.., etc.[/quote]
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