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[quote=BelieverOfLOA]Thank you for your response. He was dating both of us, sadly because he could. When I went back the first time when he was exclusive... that was the issue. I felt as though by going back I was lowering my self worth. It messed with me, badly. Then when I learned about May - the pictures were cover photos of quotes, and the beach in front of his home, but we women just know. It was pushed off as her more or less being crazy & I wanted to believe him. After that quick break up I felt so badly for "over reacting" I did stay far beyond when I should have. Now, had I known for sure he cheated. Had he or her be honest, she knew he was with me. I would have never talked to him again. I would have let him go so quickly. You are right, he had freewill to continue this... so I may have pulled her back with my energy, because I did resonate there with him... but he was a weak man and did it anyways. I know without a shadow of a doubt I deserve so much more. This baby... that's just throwing this whole wrench in my plan. I'm so blessed and grateful but it's a wrench none the less. I think you're right... hands down... for two reasons. When we were dying relationally in the summer - I saw a another ladybug, but for a text I was sending on I'm going to do me. (Heal, fix, grow, etc) I know dating him past the first cheating then having him not make enough of an effort to heal the relationship - killed my soul. Also, about maybe it's just for this soul I am carrying... because when he and I were friends for a year and a half before dating. He was "with" this woman that whole time, but never once mentioned her... we spoke about all the women he was dating besides her. She's his fallback, sadly. She is very content as long as he's hers... BUT when we first dated he said God told him we were going to have kids, he laughed, because he was friend zoned. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my post and sincerely comment. I know I feel a rush because I want him during my pregnancy, but it is what it is. I know I am far better then all this. Peace love and light!![/quote]