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[quote=mrstkg]My POI is not an ex. But if I can find a way to get in touch with him, surely he can do the same.[quote=Claire_Bear]Sometimes you have to contact them first, but possibly that is in a situation where they are not an ex who has dumped you. I know I have had to make the first move in my situation, because I was the one with the contact details. (Mine is not an ex-back or emotional scenario so I can't liken my story to yours) - I would say that IS a success story. Also I was the one to make the first contact with my university boyfriend after many years and we're now very good friends. He was delighted I did. I see that as a success and not me as a failure because he didn't contact me first. We are adults and equals.  I can see that if someone has been hurt and rejected, or cheated on, it is quite a different tale, though. [/quote][/quote]