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[quote=Claire_Bear][quote=hellokitty]I'm confused, if you're [b]contacting  men; hunting them down, and chasing after them[/b]; how was this a manifestation? Why even meditate when you can just call him up?[/quote] Hello, Kitty! Your remarks above made me smile this morning. Chasing, hunting, oh my! [img]http://cdn.boardhost.com/emoticons/happy.png[/img] My uncle's funeral is in a couple of hours and this gave me a much needed cheer-up. Perhaps I have derailed this post. though. At University I had a very good friend, her name was - and still is actually! - Cathy. I haven't seen her since she left and married an American guy and moved there. I've often thought about her over the years and thought about getting in touch with her. She doesn't have my up to date address. Now, should I just focus on PW so that Cathy thinks about me and gets the idea of calling me after 16 years? Or, as I can find her husband's details on line, or even hers, do I drop him/her an email or message (as I met him too) and take it from there? And if that resulted in us being in touch, I guess by your analogy I would have failed.  Or is that chasing, hunting down my friend and, yes, contacting her?  And how is it NOT a success story if you have achieved your objective, ie being back in touch with someone after a long time and being good friends again (note this is NOT romantic) Now in the case of my uni boyfriend, the situation was exactly the same. I didn't hunt him down and I certainly didn't chase him. I wondered where he was, I googled him, and I found him on LinkedIn. I live in England, he now lives in the States. He moved there years ago, so he wasn't going to suddenly bump into me down the pub or knock on my door. I didn't meditate. I hadn't heard of Lanie then. But I did have occasional mini daydreams about him, I suppose, I thought about him. I sent him [b]one [/b]message out of the blue (didn't chase, only contacted him once) the next time I thought of him and he replied.  We have been in regular contact since. Maybe I should have been RS-ing him instead, or RI-ing him actually as I wanted to be friends with him, and waiting for him to think of me. So how is that failure? It is certainly a manifestation as I got the result I wanted, I thought of it, and I created it. What I am saying is that SOMETIMES you have to take ACTION. But not always, and not in Issykitten's situation. Her action would be better spent on self-love and setting this ex aside for a while and then restarting PW. If she wants to, that is.  Having said that, I did chase him when we split years ago and it made me very unhappy. Years later we are different people in different places (literally and geographically) and ready to be friends again.  And how is it different because one is a male ex and one is a female friend?  Now [b]I'm [/b]confused. The forum is about empowering women, I thought.  I realise that in the original poster's situation, direct contact is not the right thing to do as he is an ex, there have been bad feelings and issues and she would be making things worse as she is not in the right place at the moment to do this. And "why meditate when you can just call him up" - sometimes I think you have groundwork to do, in some situations.  Maybe "prepare" with using PW and BWD so that if you do make the first move (ie NOT in getting back an ex, but starting a new relationship with someone you don't perhaps know that well, as in my case), they are likely to "know" you and respond IF you make the first contact, are brave enough, and it feels right. I see that as just sensible. But it might not be necessary, of course. But if that is what you do, I don't see why it is a failure.  But everyone's situation is different. I just threw mine in for discussion. Not to tell you what to do, but to tell you what I did in a different situation. Because not everyone here is after an ex, or after an ex in a romantic way. Or is that purely what it is for, because if so I will stop posting about anything that is not about romantic relationships. Hope this makes sense.   [/quote]