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[quote=Jag123][quote=DJ][quote=Jag123]Hi ladies,  I posted here when the guy I was with left me for the second time.  As a bit of a backstory we met and it was "magical". He didn't want a committed relationship but met someone else and started up something with her.  I was devastated.  During that time, I went a bit crazy on trying all of these techniques, looking back I was waaaay too attached.  Somehow he did come back, but again looking back, I was attached but didn't do anything wrong I just wanted a relationship.  He left me again for someone else (as I type this I realise how awful he was!), and it took me a long time to get over. I felt like a loser ,a failure and just completely unattractive.  We hadn't had any contact for 10  months....until two days ago.  For 9 of these 10 months I couldn't get him out of my head, and it affected everything especially my self esteem.  Last month out of sheer desperation I gave up.  I sat in meditation and EFT came to me.  So, I opened YouTube and did some tapping along to Brad Yates.  I've tried it before but never consistently.  I made a decision there and then that I was going to focus on myself.  I was going to be the best me I could be.  I was going to get clear about what I wanted and I was going to manifest them.  I realised  I didn't want THAT relationship anymore or a person who didn't respect me. However, to have the relationship of my dreams and the respect that went with  it, I had to release the blocks I had to both.   I didn't respect myself otherwise I wouldn't be obsessed with someone who treated me so badly.  Somewhere along the line ,I didn't think I deserved the relationship I wanted so I would have settled for him anyway he wanted to be there  (I cringe at this now).  Law of Attraction is a very fair friend, I asked and it was given.  Lol!  So I tapped everyday for a month, I felt clearer and happier (I love tapping now!) Daily I listed of all the things I was grateful for and the good things in my life.  I woke up an hour earlier each day and spent that time in bed just being still with myself.   During that month so many good things happened.  My relationships changed, new people came in (including new boys - I used to tell myself no one could compare, I can't believe I was happy with that but deep down I didn't believe anyone would want me) , I attracted fun situations but most importantly I felt free of the longing and desperation and the freedom was exhilirating!  I found me again and I loved her so much.  Anyway (the bit you are waiting for lol!)  two days ago I was away with a friend.  I casually looked at my phone and there was a message from him.  Let me clear, in these 10 months I was blocked on everything, he had a new girlfriend, he ignored every text I sent (so embarassed now in hindsight - because when he unblocked me he would have received them all in one go lol! ).  When I got the message I was desperate for just two months ago I was indifferent. Why?  Because I have changed.  The text was just a "hi how are you" but I was so pathetic then, just a "How are you" would have made me so happy and grateful.     I'm not going back to that. If he wants me then he will either make the effort or there is someone way better.  I hadn't done PW or BWD in months and whilst I believe they work, I couldn't magnetise what I wanted because I was blocking it. Doing it made me depressed and kept me attached as I was doing it out of sheer desperation .  Working on myself allowed this to happen, and the fact I don't feel excited or wondering what will happen next is because the attachment is gone.  I still love him but I love me SO SO much more.  I deserve the best and only the best!  Part of me wonders what the results would be if I did BWD on him now just as an experiment.  I don't have the same attachment and need,  but I did it for so long before I must have built up a a lot in the cosmic bank :)  Good luck with your journeys, but remember this all starts with you and only you. J x[/quote]   My story is almost exactly the same as yours. It is as if you took the words from my mouth. It is going to be 10 months of NC in my case too. I am not desperate anymore but just struggle with forgiving him and myself. Thank you for your post, I got some perspective from this :)[/quote] I am glad my post resonated with you DJ, you sound like you are on the right path - it's not an easy one.  In fact it is MUCH easier to stay in desperation, because you don't have to look  in the mirror to see the real reason for your pain.  Remember Neville says your world is you pushed out, so by forgiving yourself you forgive him. What helped me with forgiveness was to make peace with what brought me to here, left the past where it belongs (when old emotions and feelings arise I notice them, breathe through them but try not to attach a story to them) and placed my focus on forgiving myself.  In doing so, I took  back my power.  From that point on the techniques will be golden and your whole life will change, mine did.  Good luck lovely xx  [/quote]