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[quote=Moonbeam2018]Hello love, I am fairly new to this too. Are you doing anything to help raise your vibration? I know it can be hard when there is someone trying to tear you down. It sounds like your husband wants to keep you at a low point in order to hang onto you and it sounds like you feel you "deserve it". I would imagine that as you raise your vibration he will not have the hold on you that he seems to have now. Also, practising loa on him and trying to talk to him that way might help. I am specifically thinking the whispering technique. Maybe it will help soften things a bit in your interactions as you figure things out? There was a reason you fell in love with him initially and perhaps seeing and feeling, and holding space for those parts of him and yourself, in the meditations might help regardless of where things are now.  I am not here to judge you in regards to the other man. I do not think we ever deserve to be torn down though. You do not deserve that regardless of what decisions you made. We are all are worthy of love and it sounds like you were not getting what you needed from your relationship. I feel we typically make the best decisions we can in any given moment based on the information we have. Sometimes our heart is louder then our mind and the "shoulds" and what we are taught life should look like. I am not advocating cheating. I am just saying this is deeper then surface labeling of "good" or "bad" and my heart goes out to you because this doesn't sound easy.  I would continue to try to connect with your love using the meditations but for some reason the interaction with your husband stood out more to me. I wonder if you somewhat distance yourself from both of them and try to focus on self-love right now if it might make all of these decisions, and interactions, clearer and smoother? [/quote]