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[quote=Jag123]Hi YouOweYourself, What a lovely message! Im so glad that my journey has helped you , writing everything down helped me get from where I was to where I am.  I received wonderful advice and encouragement which helped tremendously!   I meant to post an update this week because what has happened most recently has been a complete transformation.  I am still learning but I can say that my relationship with him is now better than it has ever been. We aren't together as a couple (I know this is because I have a wrinkle in my belief about what is truly possible), but we had a date this weekend and I can say absolutely that this works.  I will try and break it down as much as possible, but no amount of action could have created this, it was all about me and my beliefs about what I believed to be possible between us.  When I worked on those, he came to me.  So, over the Christmas break I was out of the country.  I decided that it was the perfect opportunity to take a break from it all.  We had been talking sporadically after our fateful meeting, and it was really nice but it was just that. Texting and talking occassionally.  I now look  at that period of time, and recall  all kinds of resistance was being brought up.   In the past, because we were in contact, I would want to discuss it with him  and "get to the bottom of why we were like this"   I became attached to the outcome A LOT and felt "what's the point" A LOT.  However instead of venting here, or texting him drunk with a "WHYYYYYY" I took responsibility as a creator of my own reality and looked at why I was creating these feelings.  I now know this was a key time because I was able to "tap" through what was coming up or feel the resistance until it dissipated (remember what you resists persists) every time I broke through the resistance a bit more, by soothing myself and not looking for him or anything outside of me to feel better,  the way I felt about the/a relationship began to change.  I took no action, I just started to change my thoughts.    Anyway Christmas came and went. I came back, and I decided to put some distance between our texts and calls - meaning I didn't initiate anything.  Instead, I purely worked on my beliefs and thoughts because as I said a lot was coming up. When I felt in alignment I did reach out to say hi and I was blown away.  HE suggested meeting, HE planned the whole date, HE told me everything I wanted to hear. Also the other woman is definitely gone, and  I mean she is not coming back.  I have some work to do to get this where I need it to be, but it isn't by taking action it's by aligning with the relationship I want by myself.  I am now standing in a new place with regard to this, and new resistance in coming up as I am getting closer.  I am trying very hard not to become attached to the wonderful time we had, because I know when I do, I fear loss and it goes away (another belief for me to work on). This is a key time to appreciate it and realise reality is now showing me that this is my new normal and I need to align with it as completely normal so it continues to unfold organically.  If you read back through this thread, it makes sense because everything has evolved naturally when I when I actually let go. So yes, this is a wonderful update.  He is now initiating contact and I am continuing to love myself first, stay calm and aligned to what I deserve and enjoy it. The key to all of this is believing you can have it - not just in fantasy but in the way you know you can have a glass of water from a tap.  The second key is to relax into it being normal rather than a miracle.  I am working on these two things at the moment.  This absolutely works, it starts with you.  Strangely he said that he has never loved me more - well I have never loved me more either, so there's our answer ladies!   I will post more updates as things evolve and wish you all the best of luck!!!! J xxx[/quote]