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[quote=Jag123]Awwww Unicorn! We are definitely tuned into each other :)  Thank you so much, I  know we will be celebrating you too soon.  I hope you are staying strong and positive on your journey, because you deserve only the best (you know that anyway :)) I must say I think I'm going through another energetic growth spurt from this new standpoint  - I can feel the growing pains.  I have now talked about seeing him last weekend,  both here and with a couple of friends.  Not so much here, but with friends, I was almost scared to talk about it because of our history. My mind turned to  "will he let me down again, will I be embarrassed again?"  In fact I felt quite out of sorts yesterday with it.  I kept the conversation light-hearted and short when telling my friends, but I am conscious of what they may have been thinking.  I have remind myself of two things here: "He is what I think he is - so I need to reframe him in my mind " and "what anyone else thinks of me is none of my business".   I'm guessing it's because it's not a familiar place to be in, and I'm not acting in the way I always did.  So it's fear of the unknown.  Before we knew our roles and we played them well - I chased him and he ran away.  I've stopped chasing and he has stopped running, so I suppose it's.... now what!  The old story was a nightmare, but least I knew what was coming.  Lol!   It's just the lining up with the new story, that feels a bit of sorts at the moment.  I'm guessing it's natural.  A bit like getting a promotion at work and feeling like a fraud for the first few months because your old role was more comfortable, but you'd outgrown it.  Actually taking that analogy a step further, if you were promoted at work, you would  be given time to ease into your new role and familiarise yourself with your new surroundings .  You would perhaps be slightly anxious about how you were viewed by your once peers, and how they now view you.  As it starts to become more familiar and you become more confident, you can't believe it was ever that  difficult. Having written this, I can now see why Neville's "I remember when" technique works. I'm going to try it every time I feel fear or worry creep up and will report back :) Thanks for giving me airtime again, it really helps to write it down!  I know what I need to do now! J xx  [/quote]