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[quote=Jag123]Hello all!   I wanted to come back with an update.  Firstly to answer the questions (I'm sorry it's taken so long, I felt I needed to say away from the forum while I got my head together) PrettyBrownEyes - There are a million Brad videos and the beauty of there being so many is that you pick the vid that resonates at that time So, if in that moment you are feeling unworthy tap on that subject.  If you feel like you couldn't imagine your desire manifesting find a vid related to that.  When I'm feeling good, I do the love magnet vid someone mentioned in another thread.  It definitely works, and you know you've moved forward when you really believe what you are tapping on!  Hope that helps?  Nyusikam - Letting go is really hard and there isn't a set method for doing it.  When I think back, I made a conscious effort to focus on myself when my mind kept drifting to him.  I had to have a list of things I would do to occupy me, like a book loaded on my kindle that I know would absorb me, a podcast I wanted to listen too, cook, binge watch Hayu lol! Anything.  Though it never helped [u]ME[/u] to come on a forum like this or research ex back stuff  because my focus would inadveterntly be him.  It's like picking a scab.  You just need to forget it's there for a while. I hope this helps? Unicorn - You are as always a bright and wise star - I appreciate you and  have PM'd you.  So for the update -  He is now making all of the moves.  He calls, he texts he talks about the future.   I can' actually believe I'm typing this because we've come a long way.  The difference now is that I don't feel excited or it's like a miracle.  It feels natural because i've done the work on myself. I'm actually the less open one, I have zero expectations. I have my moments, even as close as this weekend when i'd had too much to drink and we spoke on the phone, but he had to go.  I had too much to drink and my mind went crazy! Was it happening again etc!?  When I woke the next morning, I chalked it up as a blip (I felt like I'd let myself down, not that I said anything bad or wrong, and I hadn't - but I had thought I'd come a way from feeling like that).  I got on with my day, did an extra long tapping session and that evening I got a text saying 'I love you'.   My work continues to be that this becomes the new normal,  We have never been in a truly committed relationship so this is all new.  I need to get used to the idea of becoming his girlfriend and the truth is it freaks me out at times! Trust me I never truly believed I would have this as a problem but ironically this was what kept him away because my vibration was desperation.  I didn't truly believe he would change but the truth is, it was me that had to change.  When I did, so did he.   So, I tap on Allowing Great things daily and Brad's Why Not Me video  It's truly working, I'm clearing my own blocks to the relationship I want. I'm getting to the place where I truly feel I deserve it.  I do visualise us together before I fall asleep and I know that works because he always contacts me the next day. I am letting him take the lead, I'm too busy working on myself to worry about what he is thinking or what is going to happen next (this was always the issue in the past - hence the blip and the fear around it!) Some things to note - 1 - I used Neville's revision method on the past and he told me everything as I revised it.  i.e he took responsibility for his past actions, he explained why he couldn't make it work, he told me he always loved me. He told me no one compared to me - especially his last girlfriend (that part was especially satisfying lol!) We have talked about our past and I genuinely believe we won't get there again. It was a conversation that needed to be had, but we've let it go and it feels wonderful.  There is no more anger there on either side.  2 - During the date we had the other week, there was a part of the date that happened EXACTLY as I visualised it for MONTHS.  It used to be  my go to scene when I was "trying to get him back".  The moment I started to line up with my desire by letting go, I allowed it to happen. Actually this was all the proof I needed that visualising  really does work.  3 - By letting go, I am able to enjoy him, but he isn't the focus of my life.  As Abe Hicks says I am creating the environment I need for the future.  I am redecorating my home, I'm eating better to get in shape, I'm really focussing on work.  Why? Because the new me lives in a beautiful home, with a great body and a great job.  So I'm taking action for the universe to match me half way. For me I hasten to add.  I'm enough, but not aim higher? So this is my latest update! I read my first post and I'm a totally different person. I'm not scared of losing him anymore, I'm not trying anymore but in giving in to both of those things the path continues to unfold the right way. I hope you are enjoying similar successes!!! Keep working on yourselves ladies and thank you for all of the support!  J xx[/quote]