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[quote=annabelle]I'm older...56, but in good shape and attract a strange little niche group of men who seem to fall hard. Everyone else pretty much ignores me.   I'm not all that exciting but I guess there is a type for everyone. I can never keep them or any friend for that matter.  For one thing, I am brutally honest and another....I am married and sometimes these guys want more than friendship. One guy I've been hanging out with lately is a hiking buddy.  One was my water sport buddy.  As I am married and only want friendship and the attention.  I know its awful, but my husband is a suit and a workaholic and not very fit.  As a matter of fact his years at his stressful job are really taking their toll.  I tried to share the burden, but he was always out the door working in other towns and I stayed home or worked locally choosing jobs carefully so I could do all my "outdoor adventure girl" activities by myself, with my boys or with any partner, male or female who could keep up. So last summer, I am at the beach, sharing the family vacation via text and photos with my water sports buddy.  He is unmarried but goes with his mom, dad and siblings every year and always shares his beach vacation with me as well.  Anyway, I've gained some weight (5' 6" and up to about 128 I'm guessing at that time.  Plus I'm letting the gray grow out...lovely).  And my kayak partner starts in about "letting myself go".  And I say I'm comfy getting old and he doesn't like my attitude.  We spat about everything.  He blocks me.   I want him back, but only as a friend.  Yeah I'm attracted, but I'm not all in.  I love my lake house (yes I live on a lake and it suits me and I only work part time because my husband makes a lot....honest, I am honest about my situation). So if I'm just friends with this guy, why can't my hair be gray!   Anyway, I'm wanting to attract him back.  I know me being married holds the relationship back in the friend zone, but I was happy with the attention and the company.  I haven't found anyone like him....his mind is a treasure.  6'5", funny, younger...that helps too.  I've been doing my visualization/meditation....easy.  I do feel he has either forgotten me or is blocking me.  There really isn't much in the relationship for him I guess, but he seemed to really think highly of me at one point. But now my hiking buddy....who I consider a last resort, is coming on strong.  Yikes (along with some other guys...who really are just friends and being friendly....ya know... thinking of me when they see something I might like).  Here is the be careful what you wish for part.... I really didn't expect him to ever react the way he did and I never intended to hurt his feelings with this stuff....so I've probably lost him too....for now.  It wasn't the meditation that caused the problem.  It was the way I treated him afterward.  I really didn't appreciate his advances, and was pretty blunt about it. So it works , in weird ways. Be careful ladies. My goal, btw, is simply to attract a little more attention, while I still can.  Hubby isn't romantic, and I never used to be.  This want/need only surfaced a few years ago.  I was happy being an almost completely ignored dishrag for quite a long time.  Then I discovered I like an occasional coffee date, or a outdoor adventure partner.  I want a new stimulating and mutually beneficial social circle.  I like doing things in couples, male or female....I like giving and receiving attention by and for myself when I socialize.   I don't see why these techniques can't work for any social situation. I'll let you know. Thanks for listening. Ann  [/quote]