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[quote=BelleFleur][quote=hermeshorse]Yep, that's the one I rub my hooves together and then push out the energy but then find I can't resist feeling my way around him caressing him - well he is sort of standing in front of me or rather that's how I visualise him.  I think I misunderstood - I just grope away and he stands there with what appears to be a big smile on his face or what I am visualising is a big smile on his face, well he's certainly not running off and often he's dawdling around towards the end of a session refusing to leave as Lanie is counting down. I still don't have an explanation for that or when it feels like he's taking over or when I have not done a session that he comes after me in dreams and reminds me what his intentions are. I honestly didn't set out with any of this, it just happened, I've tried to explain it and this thanks to Lanie is probably the best way to control it. Yes, it is a connection - the heart thing, pain, palpitations. Odd feelings that don't feel like your own sometimes - actually had something yesterday that felt what I imagine a heart attack to feel like BUT middle/wrong side so could have been a muscle strain, however cleared up when I asked him for help. I know I have a couple of tells that make him laugh at me during the meditation (yes, he's interacting - that I don't understand at all) and the bit where we are supposed to feed them what we want them to say - forget that, he's a complete stream in his own right.  The reason I do the physical stuff is that the visual side isn't that great for me but I'm better with his voice, how he feels (or rather a man feels), kissing is good, oh yes, he's very very very good... I just hope no-one ever walks in on one of my meditations as it must look totally mad. It's so funny but now when I look at his image, and I have done a sort of vashikaran type thing - photogaze - he is so positive and emitting a vibe of yumminess out at me. The conference behaviour was so funny that I wondered if I was seeing things but then I remembered something I'd posted about another event I'd gone to where a chappie who I'd almost mistaken for my POI (he is very distinctive without going into detail) sat staring at me between presenting. I am sure that I am not completely hideous, but neither am I Lanie's or Angelina Jolie's level of beauty as I'm in my fifties. Mind you Lanie herself wrote about a garden gnome of a woman but who used PW to give herself the sex appeal of Eartha Kitt so there must be some hope for me yet! One thing I have to state is that if it becomes really apparent that this is all in my head and nowhere else that I will drop it as I don't want to put this man in an embarrassing position in his life or employment. I have no intention to throw myself at him in the physical world - he has to make the move towards me, he's now glimpsed what is available from the sweet trolley - I hope he chooses this particular horse shaped doughnut to lick and say "hands off - that's mine I licked that one!"[/quote] I love your energy! And your skills seem very strong. I'm still learning and feeling my way. What I do at night right as I'm laying down in bed is imagine us together spooning, doing skin to skin (John Kironde technique). I tell him over and over that I love him, he doesn't have to be afraid of my love, etc. and I hear him telling me that he loves me too. I also did Lanie's connecting to your poi during sleep just before I did skin to skin. Last night I felt a sensation in my left neck and left cheek area. I noticed it and just went with it even though I don't know what it means. I like doing the love spell or connecting to your mate meditations in the morning. If energy is neither created nor destroyed I believe this love energy has to be going somewhere and doing something. Let's stay the course and keep the faith.[/quote]