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[quote=Sweetsong][quote=Lanie Stevens]I've read your post twice but I can't figure out the reason you broke up with him.  Maybe I'm missing something.  Is it possible that you sabotaged your relationship due to fear of loss, fear of being too vulnerable or something else fear related?  Since he called and texted you it is obvious he wanted to connect.  If he still has an interest in moving forward I don't see a reason to keep suffering over the loss.  What am I missing?  xoxoxoxoxo[/quote] Hi Lanie! Thank you so, so much for responding!  I could go into details what happened in our 3 months relationship and what led me to the break up,but that was not the subject I addressed and looked for possible answers and help.  To make it short - I started to feel taken for granted, had feeling it was only me who was investing in our relationship, started to wonder about the ways he made and was making decisions in his life (which were all wrong and he admitted them, but still he wouldn't do anything to bring good changes in his life and work on his own happiness),  and with the fact that he would say one thing and do another, I started to wonder what was really truth in his life (fyi, we don't have mutual friends, so all I know about him is from his side of the life story).  I don't need to fear the loss as I don't want to be treated the way he treated me sometimes, and I am not going to invest and stay in relationship where there is nothing to lean on.  Until he grows up and "mans" himself up, I really don't know what could bring us together. My post was about dealing with the stages of break up.  Despite my firm way of knowing where I am at, I was going through the worst time in my life.  I am still emotional, spend so much time thinking about him, over-analyze everything, wonder etc.  Not to mention that every day I wanted to call him, but I knew that wasn't a good idea, as that would probably lead to the same nothing as it was before.  I don't even know what I would tell him (right now would probably be questions, "why did you waste my time, how come you didn't want invest more etc."  same old boring stuff).  My emotions and pain were and still are so hard that it made me physically ill where my stomach would be in a knot all day, and I could just scream. Not to mention the constant fight with my own self: did i make mistake, is he a man for me, no he is definitely not a man for me, what if I said or did this and that, what about, what if, should I call him, timing is not right, how could he do that to me, why etc. etc. etc. Damn female twisted mind and overthinking.  So, my post was about how to deal with the stress, emotions, pain, overthinking after the break up? How to get out of all that confusion?  How to stay sane when emotions rule your life?  I don't want to have these feelings anymore, I wan't all this to STOP? I do meditate, I go to the gym, I force myself to see my friends and go out, I cook, I clean, I even painted the bathroom, but believe me, nothing helps.  He is still the first thought every morning I wake up with and the last one before I go to the bed. I tried your meditation for cutting the ties with him, but after 2 1/2 months of no contact and with clear understanding that the break up was best solution, shouldn't it stop by itself?   That's what is making me wonder.  [/quote]