Samarkande2 wrote:

I don't know what to say because the feeling I get is that you have resigned yourself to some negative thinking and you don't expect a positive outcome. I would examine what has caused this - either yourself, the experience, or some other external party's interference e.g. being given negative reinforcement by other maybe another person in one of these RS forums or self-help groups I've encountered?

If it's yourself then you will need to decide if you can carry on feeling this way or break out and attempt to heal.

If it's an experience, Neville talks about pruning shears and revision.

If it's having someone attempting to plant doubt or negativity in your mind, recognise that, spend some time looking through every communication looking for inconsistencies in their arguments and stay away from them. There are other methods which I use but I'm not revealing publicly.

Maybe I'm wrong but if you want this man, and he's married I believe that Neville's second wife didn't take that much notice of that fact that Neville was married. I guess I should be walking around in sack cloth and ashes, yelling unclean, unclean I'm a married woman who is in love with a possibly attached man... Tut tut, what will the neighbours say as they twitch and snarl? 

Well they don't live with my husband and or know how he lives with me, it's now convenient for both and something of a charade. Your chap may not be happy in his life.

You're over in his country, there was some interest before it seems, he might have moved on, he may not have done so, just the address may not be his physical address as many companies have registered addresses to avoid revealing director information.

If it's the UK you could try 192 online.

He does come up in 192 online but I don't know how to find marriage records in the UK from the US. I saw his pic. although small and blurry on the company's page saying what their rates were for work so I'm pretty sure he is still living there an

LadyN wrote:

Yes, just assuming it has already happened.... but to be honest with you I am having struggle to do it at this moment!!!! It's so difficult sometimes! 

 
Yeah it's really hard at this moment waiting for some kind of response after reaching out vs the past year being in NC.

I believe he still lives there because the only thing I found was an LLC registered in his name in the same location from this year.

This will be the last time I reach out to him.  That ball is way in his court right now. It's up to him. I think me trying again would only make things worse.

I sent POI, (not the original POI that I had when I signed up for this site who I haven't heard from in 2 years) but a new POI from last year a email yesterday afternoon after a year of NC after he ghosted me.

I simply let him know I was going to be visiting his country on a trip I wanted to take regardless if he lived there or not. Really I promise!

I can't find any social media profiles for him at all or pics..anything. I'd feel so embarrassed if he's married. I really hope he writes back. It's getting harder every day because I feel like this reaching out will be the last time I ever do with him.

I would suggest doing CTC if you feel an obsession or deep longing for them, and also you don't have to do it every time you do PW.