Lanie Stevens, Author -- "Empowering Women Forum" -

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Questions & Answers » How to deal with anxiety after break up » 6/25/2019 9:04 am

Replies: 2

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Lanie Stevens wrote:

I've read your post twice but I can't figure out the reason you broke up with him.  Maybe I'm missing something.  Is it possible that you sabotaged your relationship due to fear of loss, fear of being too vulnerable or something else fear related?  Since he called and texted you it is obvious he wanted to connect.  If he still has an interest in moving forward I don't see a reason to keep suffering over the loss.  What am I missing?  xoxoxoxoxo

Hi Lanie!
Thank you so, so much for responding!  I could go into details what happened in our 3 months relationship and what led me to the break up,but that was not the subject I addressed and looked for possible answers and help.  To make it short - I started to feel taken for granted, had feeling it was only me who was investing in our relationship, started to wonder about the ways he made and was making decisions in his life (which were all wrong and he admitted them, but still he wouldn't do anything to bring good changes in his life and work on his own happiness),  and with the fact that he would say one thing and do another, I started to wonder what was really truth in his life (fyi, we don't have mutual friends, so all I know about him is from his side of the life story).  I don't need to fear the loss as I don't want to be treated the way he treated me sometimes, and I am not going to invest and stay in relationship where there is nothing to lean on.  Until he grows up and "mans" himself up, I really don't know what could bring us together.

My post was about dealing with the stages of break up.  Despite my firm way of knowing where I am at, I was going through the worst time in my life.  I am still emotional, spend so much time thinking about him, over-analyze everything, wonder etc.  Not to mention that every day I wanted to call him, but I knew that wasn't a good idea, as that would probably lead to the same nothing as it was before.  I don't even know what I would tell h

General Discussion "For Women Only" » Things seemed to be going BEAUTIFULLY, and then... » 6/15/2019 7:46 am

Replies: 11

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"even when I met my POI I was in a great place in my life, the most confident I’ve ever been in a long time, and the happiest I’ve ever been being single. I wasn’t even looking and he came from out of nowhere."

Same happened to me. I rarely date as I simply don't find men interesting enough and I want "the real thing." Then he came out of blue and in 3 weeks of knowing each other we already spent every day together.  It is interesting that maybe 3 months prior to that I was sitting home, was sad and thought "oh, I probably won't even kiss ever again..." as nothing had been happening in my life for more than a decade. 

I just don't know about the Universe and all of what we are desperately trying and searching in this moment.  I never heard of PW or way to attract somebody's mind (apart from intellect), and can't say I was unsuccessful of having guys before.  So, life was happening before "secret methods"  too.  Btw. I woke up in the great mood day, and there is no way I want him back.  He lost the most amazing woman he could ever have, so why on the Earth should I feel down and cry???  Maybe we should all respect ourselves a bit more.
I wish you good luck!  We can do it, we are women! 

General Discussion "For Women Only" » Things seemed to be going BEAUTIFULLY, and then... » 6/14/2019 10:45 pm

Replies: 11

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Nocturne wrote:

I figured I’d give you all an update since I often see posts like these, etc. but more often than not I never know the outcome. Therefore, I figured I’d share with you all.

Days, then weeks, then months passed, and I hadn’t seen my POI again. From what I was gathering on social media, he and his girlfriend have only gotten more serious. Because I didn’t want to be attached to the outcome yet I had no luck at all when it came to dating around, I just figured it was best to not meditate as much. I pretty much stopped but when I did it I just felt like my heart just wasn’t in it as much. Me not seeing my POI at all in two months really did me in as well as his own relationship that seemed to be getting stronger.

That said, I just let it go completely. Turns out he’s moving out of state anyway and taking the girlfriend with him. Not that I wanted to interfere with their relationship, but I was also having the hope that maybe this was going to be short lived between him and her as my tarot cards kept saying they would end by summer and a few psychics said the same thing. In the end I just moved on. I’m actually not really sad and I wasn’t upset because I had been detached from the outcome, which is something I wanted. If anything I will say that I do feel some kind of way about the fact that the key thing I’ve always heard when it comes to the law of attraction and a specific person and applying it. I’ve always heard that if you’re okay with not having that person and open to having someone better, the universe would very likely bring it to you. On one hand I’m proud of myself because this is the most I’ve ever been detached from an outcome, considering that I really wanted to be with this guy and have the opportunity to explore my connection with him (we had one that I really felt every time I was around him, no lines were ever crossed). Yet on the other hand I’m scratching my head over the law of attraction when it comes to

General Discussion "For Women Only" » How to Claim Your Man With Your Mind » 6/14/2019 4:30 pm

Replies: 43

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My mind wrote:

I have a question i am reguraly doing PW technique.. few days ago i saw him in my dream like I'm his wife...its mean this technique is working?

I have been doing PW for the last 2-3 days.  I was dreaming about him before. First time he was massaging me, and he didn't say it but in my mind I heard him telling me I have had a big butt, the other time it was the same thing but in my mind I heard that I had bad breath (I think these my own insecurities, because the second time I fall asleep with the tv on and didn't get ready for the bed (pajamas, brush teeth, take make up off etc. so it was subconscious reminder to brush teeth).

I dreamed about him this morning.  After I did an early meditation I fell asleep.  In that dream i asked him how is this silence working with him (we are 2 months in no contact). I don't remember what he said, probably mumbled something.  I wish it was a real thing, and I think I am going to call him in a couple of days.  I don't care if we will ever get back, I miss being a friend with him and talk about everything every day.  I broke up in a very weird, no leaving a chance for explanation way.

How are you doing in general?

Questions & Answers » How to deal with anxiety after break up » 6/14/2019 10:54 am

Replies: 2

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Hi dear members!
This is my first time on this forum and my first post.  It has been 2 months since I broke up with him.  It has also been 2 months of no contact, although I had one text and one missed call on which I didn't want to respond as it was only a month after the break up, and I was going through the healing process and experiencing all the stages: sadness, anger, rage, etc.  I also wasn't ready and still am not to talk to him.  I pretty much broke up with the text message and was very general "we have different life values and priorities, let's not waste each other's time, good luck etc."  I really didn't want to hurt him.

I think my problem is that we never had a closure.  I never told him what was the real reason of brake up.  We are in our 40's, so no kids anymore, and I though we were very clear what we wanted in our lives. I understand my interpersonal skills are terrible.  I am honest, direct and straight to the point (can't stand all pshycological games when in relationship). I don't date and it has been 11 years since I actually noticed somebody (him). 11 years since I last dated a guy I liked, but just liked, no loved!  That's who I am.  I am afraid my lack of dating experience and nature of wanting a real thing (I am really not interested in one night stands, online dating, dating just for the sake of dating, anything like that as I don't care about these things, find them superficial and shallow, so please don't tell me I should do is like forcing vegetarian to eat meat), so because of my lack of dating experience, I think I make mistakes. I also believe real feelings, and therefore, can't force myself into somebody or something if it is not 100%. 

I have feeling I am most over-sensitive and vulnerable person in the world.  I never heard my friends suffer so much, or talk about break ups as much.  I still cry for every little thing, think of us and overthink everything.  I just want that to stop. I know that break ups

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