1 of 1- Strongheart
- Contributor
Offline - Registered: 7/24/2016
- Posts: 18
need advice on neediness in relationships
Hi girls! So I have been seeing this man for about 2 months now and it's going great. But I find myself once again feeling needy, clingy and insecure. When I first start dating someone I am very un-attached, great at playing the hard to get game and very much have my own life going on. The man is very attracted to this, it also makes me feel like I have the upper hand because they like me more than I like them. But As time goes on and I get more and more attached to this person I find myself becoming insecure, needy, always missing and wanting to be with them. I also find myself putting them above other things in my life. I don't get why I always fall into this pattern with every relationship. It's like I need to re-train my brain. Luckily this time I am older (hopefully a bit wiser) and I recognize my behavior and try to curb it unlike in the past I would show my insecurity and neediness to my boyfriends. This behavior is so unattractive! I also now more than ever believe a person cannot fulfill everything in your life you need to have your own thing going on. Does anyon else fall into this type of pattern? If so what do you do? Thank you!
- Oasiscalm
- Manifesting Genius
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- Registered: 1/27/2016
- Posts: 901
Re: need advice on neediness in relationships
You have to find out within yourself why you act like this.
Be your own dectetive. The first acknowledgment is that this behaviour is rooted in fear and a lack of self confidence. So sit with yourself and work out where this is stemming from.
Everyone's reason for acting a particular way is specific to them. So everyone here could identify with the behaviour but they would all have an underlying reason for acting this way.
Look closely at you belief system. What are your beliefs. What are your expectations.
The are many tools available. My favourite is CBT.
Google is your best friend. Google "how to stop being needy in a relationship" "why am I needy" "increasing self confidence" etc etc
- Mcleanie77
- Manifesting Genius
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- From: California
- Registered: 5/10/2016
- Posts: 818
Re: need advice on neediness in relationships
Strongheart wrote:
Hi girls! So I have been seeing this man for about 2 months now and it's going great. But I find myself once again feeling needy, clingy and insecure. When I first start dating someone I am very un-attached, great at playing the hard to get game and very much have my own life going on. The man is very attracted to this, it also makes me feel like I have the upper hand because they like me more than I like them. But As time goes on and I get more and more attached to this person I find myself becoming insecure, needy, always missing and wanting to be with them. I also find myself putting them above other things in my life. I don't get why I always fall into this pattern with every relationship. It's like I need to re-train my brain. Luckily this time I am older (hopefully a bit wiser) and I recognize my behavior and try to curb it unlike in the past I would show my insecurity and neediness to my boyfriends. This behavior is so unattractive! I also now more than ever believe a person cannot fulfill everything in your life you need to have your own thing going on. Does anyon else fall into this type of pattern? If so what do you do? Thank you!
This is a great article sweetie! I hope you read it! ☺️
- Strongheart
- Contributor
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- Registered: 7/24/2016
- Posts: 18
Re: need advice on neediness in relationships
You have to find out within yourself why you act like this.
Be your own dectetive. The first acknowledgment is that this behaviour is rooted in fear and a lack of self confidence. So sit with yourself and work out where this is stemming from.
Everyone's reason for acting a particular way is specific to them. So everyone here could identify with the behaviour but they would all have an underlying reason for acting this way.
Look closely at you belief system. What are your beliefs. What are your expectations.
The are many tools available. My favourite is CBT.
Google is your best friend. Google "how to stop being needy in a relationship" "why am I needy" "increasing self confidence" etc etc
Thank you Oasiscalm! Always appreciate your advice
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Thread Starter- kschmeck
- Totally Masterful Contributor
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- Registered: 8/14/2016
- Posts: 104
Re: need advice on neediness in relationships
Hi girls! So I have been seeing this man for about 2 months now and it's going great. But I find myself once again feeling needy, clingy and insecure. When I first start dating someone I am very un-attached, great at playing the hard to get game and very much have my own life going on. The man is very attracted to this, it also makes me feel like I have the upper hand because they like me more than I like them. But As time goes on and I get more and more attached to this person I find myself becoming insecure, needy, always missing and wanting to be with them. I also find myself putting them above other things in my life. I don't get why I always fall into this pattern with every relationship. It's like I need to re-train my brain. Luckily this time I am older (hopefully a bit wiser) and I recognize my behavior and try to curb it unlike in the past I would show my insecurity and neediness to my boyfriends. This behavior is so unattractive! I also now more than ever believe a person cannot fulfill everything in your life you need to have your own thing going on. Does anyon else fall into this type of pattern? If so what do you do? Thank you!
Yep! You just described me and my relationships. So I don't have any tips on how to everyone this but I know how your feeling!
- kschmeck
- Totally Masterful Contributor
Offline
- Registered: 8/14/2016
- Posts: 104
Re: need advice on neediness in relationships
You have to find out within yourself why you act like this.
Be your own dectetive. The first acknowledgment is that this behaviour is rooted in fear and a lack of self confidence. So sit with yourself and work out where this is stemming from.
Everyone's reason for acting a particular way is specific to them. So everyone here could identify with the behaviour but they would all have an underlying reason for acting this way.
Look closely at you belief system. What are your beliefs. What are your expectations.
The are many tools available. My favourite is CBT.
Google is your best friend. Google "how to stop being needy in a relationship" "why am I needy" "increasing self confidence" etc etc
Thank you, great post! But what's cbt?
- Strongheart
- Contributor
Offline
- Registered: 7/24/2016
- Posts: 18
Re: need advice on neediness in relationships
Hi girls! So I have been seeing this man for about 2 months now and it's going great. But I find myself once again feeling needy, clingy and insecure. When I first start dating someone I am very un-attached, great at playing the hard to get game and very much have my own life going on. The man is very attracted to this, it also makes me feel like I have the upper hand because they like me more than I like them. But As time goes on and I get more and more attached to this person I find myself becoming insecure, needy, always missing and wanting to be with them. I also find myself putting them above other things in my life. I don't get why I always fall into this pattern with every relationship. It's like I need to re-train my brain. Luckily this time I am older (hopefully a bit wiser) and I recognize my behavior and try to curb it unlike in the past I would show my insecurity and neediness to my boyfriends. This behavior is so unattractive! I also now more than ever believe a person cannot fulfill everything in your life you need to have your own thing going on. Does anyon else fall into this type of pattern? If so what do you do? Thank you!
Yep! You just described me and my relationships. So I don't have any tips on how to everyone this but I know how your feeling!
Ugh it's worst. But glad someone can relate to me!
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