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Last edited by Sam (12/06/2016 3:52 pm)

Sam wrote:

My guess would be that you think you've let go but you really haven't. There's some type of resistance in you that's holding him away from you. It's always been my experience that when I reach the right vibe of my desire- it comes fast. That's why it happens so quickly with people you don't have resistance with.

The fact that you say you let him go because you grew tired of trying, I think that's a red flag. There's resistance in that. It's much different than letting go because you trust the universe to bring you what you want.

I think you just have to be really honest with yourself about how you feel when you think of him and how you feel when you think of your future together. Consider what types of thoughts you have about him most often. Whatever it is, it's inside of you.

Thanks Sam! Always very informative posts!

I guess when I just look back it's sort of frustrating now. I basically followed Lanie's advice, went out and had fun, dated and hooked up with others, was and am completely open to meeting someone else and someone better. I always knew if I didn't hear from him then I will find happiness elsewhere eventually. Of course I still think about him everyday, he's the love of my life, but again, going off of Lanie's advice and her posts on here, this guy didn't particularly treat me good and I decided he didn't deserve the energy I was putting into it anymore. It was a relief to stop the techniques. I don't really understand how I could have "let go" even more than I did?

Last edited by Em (11/01/2016 7:07 am)

I suppose thinking about it, the thoughts I have about him aren't all that great at the moment even though I love him wholeheartedly despite his behaviour during our time together. I have sent a lot of love and forgiveness to him, with and without using PW, but I have my down days where what has happened still brings me down.

But the thoughts I had about my friend who screwed me over weren't that great either and he still reached out. There was a girl on here a few months ago who was being downright abused by her ex and still managed to manifest content even though she held a lot of resentment. So I don't know what I was doing wrong the whole time?

Sam wrote:

Em wrote:

Sam wrote:

My guess would be that you think you've let go but you really haven't. There's some type of resistance in you that's holding him away from you. It's always been my experience that when I reach the right vibe of my desire- it comes fast. That's why it happens so quickly with people you don't have resistance with.

The fact that you say you let him go because you grew tired of trying, I think that's a red flag. There's resistance in that. It's much different than letting go because you trust the universe to bring you what you want.

I think you just have to be really honest with yourself about how you feel when you think of him and how you feel when you think of your future together. Consider what types of thoughts you have about him most often. Whatever it is, it's inside of you.

Thanks Sam! Always very informative posts!

I guess when I just look back it's sort of frustrating now. I basically followed Lanie's advice, went out and had fun, dated and hooked up with others, was and am completely open to meeting someone else and someone better. I always knew if I didn't hear from him then I will find happiness elsewhere eventually. Of course I still think about him everyday, he's the love of my life, but again, going off of Lanie's advice and her posts on here, this guy didn't particularly treat me good and I decided he didn't deserve the energy I was putting into it anymore. It was a relief to stop the techniques. I don't really understand how I could have "let go" even more than I did?

Because if you perceive him as someone who didn't treat you well and he wasn't worth the effort, then you're putting that energy out there. So why would he be attracted to that, you know? You want a happy and loving relationship with him so in order to get that, you have to put THAT energy out there instead. If you want him back or even just to come back into your life as a friend or acquaintance, then you need to forgive him. You do deserve to be treated well but if you still hold onto how he treated you in the past, you won't ever get the type of behavior from him that you want. Lanie's advice on how people treat you has never resonated with me because if you can attract someone treating you better, you can also attract them treating you worse, which is exactly what we all did to lead to our breakups. There aren't any exemptions to universal laws, just as you attract the good in life you also attract the bad, and the LOA is always working, so truly he can't reflect back to you anything other than what you're first putting out. It's up to you to choose which belief resonates with you but either way, I think the key for you is forgiveness. Letting go out of frustration or exhaustion isn't really letting go. Sure, you may feel relief in general and that's definitely a step in the right direction, but it doesn't erase the unresolved feelings you have on that specific subject. And so you're still blocking it from coming.

That's what I have always found so confusing. A lot of people state absolutely anything is possible, Lanie's books preach that any man can be changed, yet a lot of her posts on here state the opposite and it's better to give up and move on and find someone who will make you feel worthy. So I did follow that advice and kind of just gave up.

But you are right, if we can attract negative changes in someone then we can just as easily attract positive ones. But there is so much contradictory advice. My main goal was to attract contact and possibly an apology because I felt like that was most important to me, wether it led to another relationship with each other or not. It would obviously be nice to see him regretting his decisions and behaviour but at the same time I don't want to work from a place of ego because I DO love him. I definitely think I need to work on forgiveness. Thank you for making things so much clearer, Sam!

Last edited by Em (11/01/2016 11:57 am)

I guess I have just been left a little disappointed with this one. So many times I was living in pure faith and wholeheartedly believed I would have heard from him by now. I could FEEL it coming and completely and 100% expected it many times. But then nothing... and the cycle would repeat again of building myself up. If anything things would happen that made me feel like it was getting further away, not closer. But I did persist for quite some time. I'm over 8 months NC now and not sure wether to pick it back up again and try again for what I originally set out for.

Last edited by Em (11/01/2016 12:03 pm)