MadMoiselle87 wrote:

Hey wonderful people

I'm sooo confused right now... My love and me are still in a daily contact, he writes me everyday (I don't initiate the contact), we're playing our game (World of Warcraft lol) almost daily but except on one short visit (most of the time out of nowhere and no more than two hours) in a week I don't see him ... Since our 'date' almost one month ago we haven't done anything ... Last friday he thought about finally visit the sauna together but he had to stay at work for so long so we couldn't go. On Saturday he had to go on a birthday party and yesterday he spent some time with his best friend... I was disappointed and told him about it and he just said 'please don't be that way I wanted to go to the sauna with you on friday' 'I know but you still could have visit me' 'yeah I know but I was way too tired. That will change soon'.
Yesterday I was very pissed about that and went to bed early and said to him 'this wasn't a nice day just wanted to let you know that' 'why?' 'Don't want to talk about it I'm too tired' 'I'm sorry, if I've done anything wrong . Sleep well' I didn't even say good night to him and this morning he messaged me again, asking me how I slept and stuff..

I don't get it.. why is he texting me everyday but doesn't meet me? It makes me sad... :/
 

Just my 2 cents here, but seems as though you are being a bit too clingy. I won't generalize and say guys don't like that, but from my experience and having 5 older bro's...I'd say that's a turn-off. If you are having a bad day because you didn't see him (which I totally get), you maybe shouldn't let him know. Go have a good time and let him know that you can have fun without him around. 
 

Piper wrote:

MadMoiselle87 wrote:

Hey wonderful people

I'm sooo confused right now... My love and me are still in a daily contact, he writes me everyday (I don't initiate the contact), we're playing our game (World of Warcraft lol) almost daily but except on one short visit (most of the time out of nowhere and no more than two hours) in a week I don't see him ... Since our 'date' almost one month ago we haven't done anything ... Last friday he thought about finally visit the sauna together but he had to stay at work for so long so we couldn't go. On Saturday he had to go on a birthday party and yesterday he spent some time with his best friend... I was disappointed and told him about it and he just said 'please don't be that way I wanted to go to the sauna with you on friday' 'I know but you still could have visit me' 'yeah I know but I was way too tired. That will change soon'.
Yesterday I was very pissed about that and went to bed early and said to him 'this wasn't a nice day just wanted to let you know that' 'why?' 'Don't want to talk about it I'm too tired' 'I'm sorry, if I've done anything wrong . Sleep well' I didn't even say good night to him and this morning he messaged me again, asking me how I slept and stuff..

I don't get it.. why is he texting me everyday but doesn't meet me? It makes me sad... :/
 

Just my 2 cents here, but seems as though you are being a bit too clingy. I won't generalize and say guys don't like that, but from my experience and having 5 older bro's...I'd say that's a turn-off. If you are having a bad day because you didn't see him (which I totally get), you maybe shouldn't let him know. Go have a good time and let him know that you can have fun without him around. 
 

You're right guess I should act like I don't care and focus more on myself ... if I'm going on to be so clingy he probably never want to meet up again...

MadMoiselle87 wrote:

Avaelle wrote:

From my understanding,  it is engraved in your mind that you'll never meet up with him.  You also carry a sadness. You'll have to shake the sadness and actually believe and see yourself meeting up with him. Try having visuals of the meet ups happening

Well actually I'm visualizing every night before to go to sleep and I'm scripting everyday ... don't know what else I could do

I know how you feel.  All you really can do is be patient and know and truly believe that it will happen.

Avaelle wrote:

From my understanding,  it is engraved in your mind that you'll never meet up with him.  You also carry a sadness. You'll have to shake the sadness and actually believe and see yourself meeting up with him. Try having visuals of the meet ups happening

 
You should absolutely focus on yourself and continue with the visualizations. Sometimes we don't realize that we are forcing things. You'll be fine .

Aphrodite11 wrote:

MadMoiselle87 wrote:

Piper wrote:

Just my 2 cents here, but seems as though you are being a bit too clingy. I won't generalize and say guys don't like that, but from my experience and having 5 older bro's...I'd say that's a turn-off. If you are having a bad day because you didn't see him (which I totally get), you maybe shouldn't let him know. Go have a good time and let him know that you can have fun without him around. 
 

You're right guess I should act like I don't care and focus more on myself ... if I'm going on to be so clingy he probably never want to meet up again...

Do you notice something?
You are upset that he hasn't met you since your last encounter, that he texts you but doesn't meet you? He is a human and he has to work to feed himself and fulfill his basic needs, he has other people too (friends, family) in his life apart from you whom he values and with whom he might want to maintain a healthy relationship?
Is he supposed to completely ignore, devalue and leave them and just be with only one person 24x7? They have a place too in his life just as you have a special place in his life.
We all have multiple people who have their places in our lives.

From what I read above, you appear to be desperate, needy and yes very clingy. Somewhat emotionally dependent on him. And as mentioned by others this is a huge turn off for most people. I personally do not feel like spending any time with clingy people and I end up being irritated by them. I have had experiences with clingy men.
Trust me it's extremely vexing.
You could clearly see he had work and people become tired after working for long, don't the? It's common sense. The reason I am mentioning common sense here is because I used to end up thinking "doesn't he/she have enough common sense to at least understand that I might be busy or occupied by something or I might not be in a mental/physical condition, etc, etc, etc". This was in past. Later I found out and understood that it was because of dependency, fear, insecurity, etc. And also had to attend the birthday of his friend, yet you ended up disappointed.

Now imagine some guy behaving with you the way you behave with him. Perhaps it will help you understand.

Don't "act as if you don't care". Work on uprooting that clingy behaviour out of you completely. Also dear why don't you enjoy your alone time you get with yourself when he doesn't end up meeting you? Why don't you see that it is actually an opportunity to do other things that you want to do? Why don't you take the advantage of that time?

I'm going to have to completely disagree with shaming the OP that she is clingy.

Their last date was a month ago. Had she just had a date a few days and then asking for more time then I would agree. But it was a month since she last saw him. And she made arrangements to go to the sauna. And now she sees him going out with other people and fobbing her off with excuses of being tired.

Clearly he enjoys your company and interaction hence the daily communication. But if he isn't making the effort to see you more often then you have to accept at this current time what you desire he isn't ready for.

I wouldn't say you are being clingy. I would say however you are holding yourself in limbo waiting for him to change when its you who needs to change first.

You need to be complete believe that you can have the relationship you desire with him. And not look at your current reality as evidence that it's not happen.

Take a step back and get yourself aligned and positively expectant of getting your desires. To his actions now stop seeing the current reality of him not making the effort. Stop focusing on the unwanted and continue the techniques, be happy and lean back and observe the shift in him.