I wanted to get some feedback on my situation and a couple of aspects about it. My POI and I were never officially dating. We're friends, but we I felt a strong connection with him immediately. When we first met I was in a long term relationship but it had been in a rut for a long time. Right before my boyfriend and I broke up my POI and I had a very intense makeout. One thing that made it more complicated was I moved across the country a few weeks later. So basically since I moved 6 months ago every couple of months or so we've had these intense makeout sessions, but my POI has really made it difficult for us to spend time together and has avoided having sex with me. We've gone through lots of phases with communication- sometimes we text often and sometimes he'll disappear for a week or so. There's been a couple of times that he's opened up a little bit about his feelings for me but overall he's one of the most confusing men I've ever met. We were going to hang out late Oct when I was visiting the city he lives (where I used to live) in but he got upset about something, we had an argument and he didn't speak to me for the rest of my visit. I was hurt and frustrated and hung out with another man I had flirted with in the past. I ended up hooking up with the other man. I like this other man, but don't feel as strongly about him as my main POI. After my POI and I had that fight we didn't speak for a month. I hooked up with this other man again a week ago when I was visiting my family for the holiday. One thing that throws a tiny monkey wrench in the situation is this other man I hooked up with and my POI know each other. They're not good friends or anything but they are friendly. We all know each other because we are all comedians, so we run in similar circles. My POI and I have started to slowly start talking again around Thanksgiving. I started doing PW for the last couple of weeks and I feel it's helped make some small movement.

One of the things I'm confused about is how things with my POI are being effected by me hooking up with this other man. Particularly because I found out that my POI heard about me hanging out with this other man from a mutual friend of ours after it happened the first time a month ago. As much as my POI is stubborn and gives me mixed messages I know he thinks I date a lot and is insecure in a lot of ways with me. But one of the main reasons I spent time with this other man is because my POI has made it hard for us to spent one on one time together and it's been very frustrating and confusing for me. Hence I'm torn over my own actions with this other man and if I should continue to spend time with him when I go back to my old city to visit. I guess in general I'm still trying to make sense of moving forward with my life while still doing PW on my POI. I've found this relationship extremely consuming because my POI has given me such mixed messages and I think learning how to balance it with the rest of my life has been a big challenge for me. Also when I'm doing the PW work I'm wondering if I should bring up this other man.

Sorry I wrote so much, I just wanted to give some background. I'd love any advice on any of this. Thanks!

Last edited by jessieroro (12/04/2016 6:40 am)