I think you need to stop entertaining his flaky behaviour. You are just always ready and available every time he suggests the gym session even after him flaking. I think it is disrespectful of him to not reply back to a topic like that. At least he should tell you that he can't come. You too must have a busy schedule and you make adjustments to go according to  the plan. He should at least have that much respect. No matter how busy someone is he/she can surely manage to get at least a minute and reply to a conversation like that. You make plans with someone, it's your moral duty to inform them of any changes. People are not robots with whom he can just schedule something and then not bother informing them about anything that concerns the plans.

You are just taking his disrespectful behaviour. You are disrespecting yourself. Perhaps next time if he brings this up again, you can tell him that this behaviour  of  him has been disrespectful and he doesn't need to bother you and waste your time by making any plans and then not even confirming or canceling them, by not informing you about anything on those topics. You have other things to do.

Stop accepting this behaviour. Stop being available to hang  out so  readily every time he mentions  about spending time.

getitgirl wrote:

Just to summarize what has been going on: we broke up in Feb, I regretted it but didn't want to reconcile right away, did PW/RS/sending love for about 4 months straight, then another 5 months I did it a bit less but at least 2-3 times a week. 

I saw him at the gym in the summer, didn't expect it but he approached and hugged me.. said he'd text me, but he didn't. 

Another few months, I accidentally emailed him something intended for a friend. He tried to continue the convo, suggested we workout together. I said, awesome I'm available m/w/f, let me know! No followup.

Another few months (this month) - sent him a birthday message with no expectations, said I was up for workout and catching up on our fitness progress if he was still up for it.

He said he was always up for a gym session, but thought it sounded lame so I ignored that comment. 

But he brought it back to the topic, suggested we workout on a Sunday at my gym or come downtown at his gym! 

I said I couldn't go to his gym anymore, but if he was ok coming to my gym it'd be lovely.. Asked if the 18th worked. 

He said "Yep the 18 works... what time were you thinking"

I replied "Either 11am or 4pm, my usual workout times. Do you have a pref?"

And.... silence. It's been an entire week, and we're supposed to meet tomorrow, but I'm 100% sure he's flaking on me without an explanation at this point.

Ladies - WHAT THE F HAPPENED?

I'm just so angry, I feel like smashing a wall. If he flaked for whatever reason, I'd be annoyed but I'd get over it. But how could he just disappear on me without an explanation? Not even a socially polite response or a lie "sorry I'm sick, let's reschedule."

I guess I'm so mad because every time I PW him, his feelings are so strong for me (I do the step inside sometimes to really connect with him), he misses me, etc..... but in reality he just treated me like absolute shit. No respect for me.

What did I do wrong?

I no longer had strong feelings of reconciliation like I did months ago, I've been a lot more detached, I'm even excited about some of my other dates...  at the very least, I thought he'd treat me with basic respect like a friend.

Sorry for the vent session, but how can I do PW and still experience this?!!!!! 

I guess I should PW tonight and have him apologize, but I really don't know how to believe in my visualization abilities.

The is only really one answer to this situation and that is that he isn't where you want him to be right now.

Stop thinking about what you did wrong. You haven't done anything wrong. There are a million reasons why he has been flaky. And I would bet that it hasn't nothing to do with you personally. Think about times you have bailed on others and just couldn't be bothered to meet up or reply. Was it because you didn't like or care about them?

You have done the right thing by not chasing him. Just take a step back and leave him to do his own thing. You don't need to be confrontational. If he suggests another gym date, tell him "he is too unreliable so we will see how it goes"

From your side clean up your energy stop being so affected by what he is or isn't doing. If you want him back accept that at this time it isn't here yet, but you have the faith and then believe you will have what you desire.

mrstkg wrote:

I actually agree with you. This behavior is exactly what happened in my case. We were talking, then...nothing...like, literally mid convo. I thought it was so disrespectful. I didn't even bother with the "???".(I knew he was just fine) People know when they're being rude. He ended up calling me 3 weeks later, to which I ignored. as much as I wanted to answer, as much as I like him. I'm stubborn like that, but at the same time, even doing these techniques we have to make a silent statement that disrespect isn't going to be tolerated. Don't stop if it's what you really desire, but still, don't let them just do whatever.

Aphrodite11 wrote:

I think you need to stop entertaining his flaky behaviour. You are just always ready and available every time he suggests the gym session even after him flaking. I think it is disrespectful of him to not reply back to a topic like that. At least he should tell you that he can't come. You too must have a busy schedule and you make adjustments to go according to  the plan. He should at least have that much respect. No matter how busy someone is he/she can surely manage to get at least a minute and reply to a conversation like that. You make plans with someone, it's your moral duty to inform them of any changes. People are not robots with whom he can just schedule something and then not bother informing them about anything that concerns the plans.

You are just taking his disrespectful behaviour. You are disrespecting yourself. Perhaps next time if he brings this up again, you can tell him that this behaviour  of  him has been disrespectful and he doesn't need to bother you and waste your time by making any plans and then not even confirming or canceling them, by not informing you about anything on those topics. You have other things to do.

Stop accepting this behaviour. Stop being available to hang  out so  readily every time he mentions  about spending time.

Personally if someone shows over and over again they don't respect you I would drop them.  Using the technique works to make him miss you and think about you but he's a flake and most likely will always be a flake.  If that's not what you want in your life now is the time to rid yourself of him and not attract others like him.  

Lanie Stevens wrote:

mrstkg wrote:

I actually agree with you. This behavior is exactly what happened in my case. We were talking, then...nothing...like, literally mid convo. I thought it was so disrespectful. I didn't even bother with the "???".(I knew he was just fine) People know when they're being rude. He ended up calling me 3 weeks later, to which I ignored. as much as I wanted to answer, as much as I like him. I'm stubborn like that, but at the same time, even doing these techniques we have to make a silent statement that disrespect isn't going to be tolerated. Don't stop if it's what you really desire, but still, don't let them just do whatever.

Aphrodite11 wrote:

I think you need to stop entertaining his flaky behaviour. You are just always ready and available every time he suggests the gym session even after him flaking. I think it is disrespectful of him to not reply back to a topic like that. At least he should tell you that he can't come. You too must have a busy schedule and you make adjustments to go according to  the plan. He should at least have that much respect. No matter how busy someone is he/she can surely manage to get at least a minute and reply to a conversation like that. You make plans with someone, it's your moral duty to inform them of any changes. People are not robots with whom he can just schedule something and then not bother informing them about anything that concerns the plans.

You are just taking his disrespectful behaviour. You are disrespecting yourself. Perhaps next time if he brings this up again, you can tell him that this behaviour  of  him has been disrespectful and he doesn't need to bother you and waste your time by making any plans and then not even confirming or canceling them, by not informing you about anything on those topics. You have other things to do.

Stop accepting this behaviour. Stop being available to hang  out so  readily every time he mentions  about spending time.

Personally if someone shows over and over again they don't respect you I would drop them.  Using the technique works to make him miss you and think about you but he's a flake and most likely will always be a flake.  If that's not what you want in your life now is the time to rid yourself of him and not attract others like him.  

I told someone recently about the current situation with my target, how he contacted me after 5 months NC and said he wanted to see me, but hasn't yet answered me about where and when. That was almost 3 months ago now! Anyways, this person I told about him said, "This guy doesn't value you", and another guy said "I hope you are not sitting around waiting for him..". I would take something better yes but that hasn't come along! Plus I am still thinking about him all the time and using PW/BWD and other LOA techniques too. I still feel so connected to him. I do not want all this work to be for nothing .

I am with the OP on this one sometimes you just can't help but to want that one person even if they have been out of contact with you when things could be very different.

Can we change the flakes instead of giving up on them??

Aphrodite11 wrote:

AnnanWater wrote:

Lanie Stevens wrote:

Personally if someone shows over and over again they don't respect you I would drop them.  Using the technique works to make him miss you and think about you but he's a flake and most likely will always be a flake.  If that's not what you want in your life now is the time to rid yourself of him and not attract others like him.  

I told someone recently about the current situation with my target, how he contacted me after 5 months NC and said he wanted to see me, but hasn't yet answered me about where and when. That was almost 3 months ago now! Anyways, this person I told about him said, "This guy doesn't value you", and another guy said "I hope you are not sitting around waiting for him..". I would take something better yes but that hasn't come along! Plus I am still thinking about him all the time and using PW/BWD and other LOA techniques too. I still feel so connected to him. I do not want all this work to be for nothing .

I am with the OP on this one sometimes you just can't help but to want that one person even if they have been out of contact with you when things could be very different.

Can we change the flakes instead of giving up on them??

From what I have noticed, we see someone's bad qualities and we focus a lot on their negative qualities. This leads to an increase in the negative qualities and they continue that way. If we change our perception, then situations and people can change. Try considering that the person behaves well and respects others. Assume they have those good qualities you want in them even if they don't actually have it right now. It really does work. 

In your case it happened only once and I don't know much details, so perhaps your guiy didn't contact because he must have gotten very confused with his feelings for you.
 

Exactly as Aphrodite says.

What you focus on, you will create more of.