I totally want you to share that passage. I've been curious ever since I read her book and couldn't find it.

TheMissus wrote:

Hello, everyone!

(Note:  This is a long first post.)

I'm new here, having read Lanie's books just 2 weeks ago.  I loved them!  I have been reading through the forum since I read the books and I was inspired to write this post last night.  I haven't posted in a forum in at least 3 years and I deleted my Facebook account over a year ago so, it was easy to brush off the thought.  I'm just not big on communicating in forums. 

(Note:  I've read the Neville Goddard passage that Lanie talks about her PW book and I've found a copy of it, if anyone's interested)

This morning, it was the first thing on my mind and I could tell that what I'm sharing in this post affected my dreams last night.  For me, that's a sign that it has to be done.

By way of introduction, I have been an active student and researcher of how we are what I like to call "wireless people" for 11 years.  It started when I learned about EFT in 2005 and it hasn't stopped since.  I can look back and see the things I inadvertently "manifested" (to me, it's answer to prayer) before I knew what I was doing - like a wildly successful marriage when the odds were stacked against me, repairing my relationship with my mother, seeing my father for who he really is, and, to a lesser extent, many material possessions and situations a "girl with my upbringing" isn't supposed to be able to have or experience.  I have been deliberate in my prayers (aka visualization) for the past several years and have developed an amazing sense of how in control I really am of so many things in my life.  An additional benefit is that, while I have been more deliberate in my work, my intuition has developed to an astounding level.  These days, in pretty much any conversation, I am able to read the meaning behind the words without even trying.  There's simply no more fear or desperation.  (And that brings me to the topic of this post.)

When I came here, I saw so many posts about how "It's not working....Why isn't it working....I need it to work....I'm about to give up!"  And it made me think of something I learned almost exactly 10 years ago:

I was about 9 months pregnant and had a 2 year old when my husband got a new job (again) and we moved across the country (again).  It had been at least 5 years since I'd had a meaningful relationship with another woman I could call a true friend.  In fact, the last friend I'd had turned out to be interested in more...she and her husband were swingers and her friendship wasn't truly genuine.  It was disturbing and disappointing.  I was lonely and rudderless...and about to have a new baby in a new home in a new city.  

Then, I met Maggie.  She was a woman about 10 years older than me who was mature and loving and genuine.  Maggie had a group of 4 friends, all like her.  She invited me out the very first time we met in our congregation - she saw my need.  I was overwhelmed by the real love they had for each other and for me.  They were all very social and, right out of the gate, I made an effort to be everywhere they invited me, pregnant belly and 2 year old in tow.  They were sweet and patient...I finally had friends! 

Then, my baby came and I was, once again, alone and without support.  My house was still half packed and didn't feel like a home, my mother was able to visit for a week and then I was alone again.  I adore my children, of course, but it's a different type of relationship.  It doesn't feed you in the same way a relationship with a like minded women - an older sister type - does.  Sure, I had guests from time to time but, I became increasingly worried that I would fall out of sync with the women I had spent so much time with.  I felt like I was being left behind and they would forget about me.  I had a lot of insecurities and I had been alone for a very long time.  I was desperate...I just wasn't aware of it.

As soon as I could, I jumped right back into my old routine but, I was frazzled.  My new baby had colic and my 2 year old was...two - and slightly terrible.  I just kept pushing and pushing, thinking I could handle all of it and still keep up with the other ladies.  Then, Maggie told me to leave the kids with my husband while she took me out to coffee.  (She's like that.  She knows what's best and you do it, happily.  Even my husband agrees with that!)

What she said to me while we were out to coffee has stuck with me ever since.  This isn't word for word what she said but, it's as close as I can get:

"You know that we love you, right?  And we want what's best for you?  [The ladies] and I know what it's like to have a new place to unpack and make into a home and we also know what it's like to have a newborn and a toddler at the same time.  We get it.  We're just worried that you're trying to keep up with too much.  Our children are older and help with their chores.  They do their school work on their own, and some of them are even old enough to be left alone at home.  We're at different stages in life so, we're free to be more social than you are.  But, it doesn't make us care about you any less if you aren't there.  We've been friends for a long time and we will be for a long time more.  We'll still be going out together years from now.  What's important is that you get your stuff done so that you can actually enjoy your time out with us!   It's just that, right now, your behavior seems a little desperate.  You need to slow down and know that we're here for you, ok?"

She was expressing these things to me:
You are loved.
You are at a specific stage in your life that requires certain responsibilities to be handled.
You are not missing out on anything by taking care of yourself and your responsibilities first.
You will enjoy the fun more if your responsibilities are handled and nothing is hanging over your head.
Everything you want is waiting for you and it will be there for you when you are ready.
Desperation is toxic and holds you back from getting what you want.

Any time I feel like I'm getting desperate for something, I think of what she told me.  At the time, I wanted to vehemently deny it.  Me?  Desperate?  I'm not desperate!  But, the fact is that I was truly and completely desperate.  I just knew that my life was passing me by and I was going to lose a good thing.  But, think about how truly repellent desperation is to everyone, even yourself.  Have you ever hung out with someone desperate for your friendship?  No matter how much you want to like them, their desperation is repellent.  Try and think about a time when you were acting in desperation....it makes you cringe, doesn't it?  Your desperation is even repellent to you!!

Well, your desperation is also repellent to all of the positive and wonderful frequencies you are trying to vibrate on. 

A successful visualization session is supposed to be like a bubble bath and a glass of wine.  (To be quite blunt, for me, it's like an orgasm located around my heart and the pit of my belly.)  You take the bath, drink the wine, relax, reinvigorate yourself, think through things and make plans - you feed yourself and take care of your emotional needs.  When you get out of the bath, you feel great and you're ready to shift gears.  You move on to other things.

You don't worry about whether or not the bath was long enough.  You don't stew for hours, worrying about whether or not you had enough wine to relax you just enough.  You don't call your best friend, explain your bath in detail, and then ask whether she thinks it was enough of a bath to relax you properly.  There is nothing desperate in a bubble bath and a glass of wine.

Think of your prayers - your visualization, manifestation, subjective communication/remote influencing - as a bubble bath and glass of wine.  Let it reinvigorate you, relax you, and excite you.  Then, switch gears, and move on with your day.

Most importantly, think of all of those frequencies you're trying to vibrate on as your own "Maggie and the Girls".  They love you.  They've always been there, they'll always be there.  When you're ready to relax and have fun, they'll be more than happy to share their fun with you.

Just don't be desperate.  They hate that.

All my love, 
TheMissus

P.S.  
My husband got a new job (again) and we moved across the country (again) just one year later.  Maggie and I are still best friends, even though we haven't seen each other in person in 9 years. 
 

Welcome TheMissus 
Thanks so much, i love the analogy you used of the bubble bath and glass of wine. I'm looking forward to reading more words of wisdom & experiences from you.

TheMissus wrote:

Hello, everyone!

(Note:  This is a long first post.)

I'm new here, having read Lanie's books just 2 weeks ago.  I loved them!  I have been reading through the forum since I read the books and I was inspired to write this post last night.  I haven't posted in a forum in at least 3 years and I deleted my Facebook account over a year ago so, it was easy to brush off the thought.  I'm just not big on communicating in forums. 

(Note:  I've read the Neville Goddard passage that Lanie talks about her PW book and I've found a copy of it, if anyone's interested)

This morning, it was the first thing on my mind and I could tell that what I'm sharing in this post affected my dreams last night.  For me, that's a sign that it has to be done.

By way of introduction, I have been an active student and researcher of how we are what I like to call "wireless people" for 11 years.  It started when I learned about EFT in 2005 and it hasn't stopped since.  I can look back and see the things I inadvertently "manifested" (to me, it's answer to prayer) before I knew what I was doing - like a wildly successful marriage when the odds were stacked against me, repairing my relationship with my mother, seeing my father for who he really is, and, to a lesser extent, many material possessions and situations a "girl with my upbringing" isn't supposed to be able to have or experience.  I have been deliberate in my prayers (aka visualization) for the past several years and have developed an amazing sense of how in control I really am of so many things in my life.  An additional benefit is that, while I have been more deliberate in my work, my intuition has developed to an astounding level.  These days, in pretty much any conversation, I am able to read the meaning behind the words without even trying.  There's simply no more fear or desperation.  (And that brings me to the topic of this post.)

When I came here, I saw so many posts about how "It's not working....Why isn't it working....I need it to work....I'm about to give up!"  And it made me think of something I learned almost exactly 10 years ago:

I was about 9 months pregnant and had a 2 year old when my husband got a new job (again) and we moved across the country (again).  It had been at least 5 years since I'd had a meaningful relationship with another woman I could call a true friend.  In fact, the last friend I'd had turned out to be interested in more...she and her husband were swingers and her friendship wasn't truly genuine.  It was disturbing and disappointing.  I was lonely and rudderless...and about to have a new baby in a new home in a new city.  

Then, I met Maggie.  She was a woman about 10 years older than me who was mature and loving and genuine.  Maggie had a group of 4 friends, all like her.  She invited me out the very first time we met in our congregation - she saw my need.  I was overwhelmed by the real love they had for each other and for me.  They were all very social and, right out of the gate, I made an effort to be everywhere they invited me, pregnant belly and 2 year old in tow.  They were sweet and patient...I finally had friends! 

Then, my baby came and I was, once again, alone and without support.  My house was still half packed and didn't feel like a home, my mother was able to visit for a week and then I was alone again.  I adore my children, of course, but it's a different type of relationship.  It doesn't feed you in the same way a relationship with a like minded women - an older sister type - does.  Sure, I had guests from time to time but, I became increasingly worried that I would fall out of sync with the women I had spent so much time with.  I felt like I was being left behind and they would forget about me.  I had a lot of insecurities and I had been alone for a very long time.  I was desperate...I just wasn't aware of it.

As soon as I could, I jumped right back into my old routine but, I was frazzled.  My new baby had colic and my 2 year old was...two - and slightly terrible.  I just kept pushing and pushing, thinking I could handle all of it and still keep up with the other ladies.  Then, Maggie told me to leave the kids with my husband while she took me out to coffee.  (She's like that.  She knows what's best and you do it, happily.  Even my husband agrees with that!)

What she said to me while we were out to coffee has stuck with me ever since.  This isn't word for word what she said but, it's as close as I can get:

"You know that we love you, right?  And we want what's best for you?  [The ladies] and I know what it's like to have a new place to unpack and make into a home and we also know what it's like to have a newborn and a toddler at the same time.  We get it.  We're just worried that you're trying to keep up with too much.  Our children are older and help with their chores.  They do their school work on their own, and some of them are even old enough to be left alone at home.  We're at different stages in life so, we're free to be more social than you are.  But, it doesn't make us care about you any less if you aren't there.  We've been friends for a long time and we will be for a long time more.  We'll still be going out together years from now.  What's important is that you get your stuff done so that you can actually enjoy your time out with us!   It's just that, right now, your behavior seems a little desperate.  You need to slow down and know that we're here for you, ok?"

She was expressing these things to me:
You are loved.
You are at a specific stage in your life that requires certain responsibilities to be handled.
You are not missing out on anything by taking care of yourself and your responsibilities first.
You will enjoy the fun more if your responsibilities are handled and nothing is hanging over your head.
Everything you want is waiting for you and it will be there for you when you are ready.
Desperation is toxic and holds you back from getting what you want.

Any time I feel like I'm getting desperate for something, I think of what she told me.  At the time, I wanted to vehemently deny it.  Me?  Desperate?  I'm not desperate!  But, the fact is that I was truly and completely desperate.  I just knew that my life was passing me by and I was going to lose a good thing.  But, think about how truly repellent desperation is to everyone, even yourself.  Have you ever hung out with someone desperate for your friendship?  No matter how much you want to like them, their desperation is repellent.  Try and think about a time when you were acting in desperation....it makes you cringe, doesn't it?  Your desperation is even repellent to you!!

Well, your desperation is also repellent to all of the positive and wonderful frequencies you are trying to vibrate on. 

A successful visualization session is supposed to be like a bubble bath and a glass of wine.  (To be quite blunt, for me, it's like an orgasm located around my heart and the pit of my belly.)  You take the bath, drink the wine, relax, reinvigorate yourself, think through things and make plans - you feed yourself and take care of your emotional needs.  When you get out of the bath, you feel great and you're ready to shift gears.  You move on to other things.

You don't worry about whether or not the bath was long enough.  You don't stew for hours, worrying about whether or not you had enough wine to relax you just enough.  You don't call your best friend, explain your bath in detail, and then ask whether she thinks it was enough of a bath to relax you properly.  There is nothing desperate in a bubble bath and a glass of wine.

Think of your prayers - your visualization, manifestation, subjective communication/remote influencing - as a bubble bath and glass of wine.  Let it reinvigorate you, relax you, and excite you.  Then, switch gears, and move on with your day.

Most importantly, think of all of those frequencies you're trying to vibrate on as your own "Maggie and the Girls".  They love you.  They've always been there, they'll always be there.  When you're ready to relax and have fun, they'll be more than happy to share their fun with you.

Just don't be desperate.  They hate that.

All my love, 
TheMissus

P.S.  
My husband got a new job (again) and we moved across the country (again) just one year later.  Maggie and I are still best friends, even though we haven't seen each other in person in 9 years. 
 

The bath analogue was perfect. I hope it is absorbed and really heard. I love it