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2/02/2017 2:38 pm  #1


New Day, New Resolve

I woke up in the middle of the night again and felt good. I creeped his social media just for a minute and didn't feel pain or panic. I scooped out the new girl and feel really nothing towards her. I won't do it again (or really try not to) and got some feelings that bothered me so I visualized him pushing her away and saying I love January during the day.  Then I did the Ex Moved on MP3 before going back to bed and then the CTC MP3 before I got up this morning. Both those helped. On my way to work, I realized that I don't feel much hurt or despair anymore. I am starting to feel some anger for the first time but am starting to let that go because it's not healthy for me. But the hurt being gone is huge! I woke up KNOWING that it is working and feel like I am letting go of the WANT and just Believing and carrying on with my life. I even told my friend that my goal is to flirt with one  man this weekend, wherever or however I come into contact w/him because it may make me feel good and to practice BWD since I just re-read the book. I've come so far in terms of self- love and I may be ready for someone to appreciate me. Even if it's just for a fleeting moment.  I'm not moving on from my guy but I can't be sitting around waiting for him to contact me and consuming my thoughts and I need something to distract me. All my friends are coupled up and I can't depend on them to occupy my time all the time. I am taking classes and reading more, spending time with my pets, exercising, etc, but we all know how the nights can be the hardest... I can barely stand to watch TV, in part because I feel like I have too much energy and wasted so much time in the past watching TV that I don't want to waste more but also because my mind wanders too much. Besides fitness goals, I am also working on manifesting a larger social circle.

The negative thoughts are coming less frequently today. But I don't feel the desperation. On my break at work, I did a 3 minute PW session and that is getting easier. This afternoon, I heard a song and sent it to him. I KNOW that this is getting through to him. It's like I feel so strongly that I want to break no contact but I know I can't.

Does anyone ever share a vision or memory when you visualize with your POI? Such as you when you hear this song or word, you will remember this memory?

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