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2/06/2017 12:17 am  #1


Feeling Determined

I have felt so good today! I really slept for the first time in over a month and then napped the day away. In between,  I scripted for the first time in a week- just quick and easy, revising my plans last night to include my guy, read some good threads, particularly the one talking about if you knew you were going to see your guy in 14 days, what would you be doing. The truth is, because my guy and I are long distance, if I was going to be seeing him in 14 days, I would be all in on pampering, dieting, exercising and getting my house and car clean. Then I watched this video on Veronica's forum about the Missing Piece for Manifestation and it drove home the threads I read earlier. It really inspired me to take a good look at my life as a whole, what I want, my plan to attract them and how to be the person who can attract them. I know it's the same message that I have heard before but sometimes it sometimes takes a few times for it to sink in for me. Sorry, I can't post the link because I don't have enough posts.

I made plans to go out next weekend with a new friend I met, I signed up for a new fitness class, I did some long overdue cleaning and then purged my closet more. Then I had a fabulous yoga class online where the instructor told me to accept where I am today, let go of the hurt and anger because where I am today is not where I am going to end up and that I can have anything I desire because I am a Fucking Warrior and no one can take that from me! I felt so empowered. I can't wait to do this class again tomorrow!

Then a friend asked me if I would be interested in having her set me up or at least meet a few of her new guy's friends. I told her yes. I am not looking for anything serious, maybe just a light flirtation to help soothe my ego and maybe try out some of Lanie's BWD techniques on strangers for a free drink. I'm also really hoping I may find a new platonic, single straight guy to hang out with by doing this.  Mine all partnered up years ago and I forgot how much I missed hanging out with guys.

I used this rubbing technique again posted on Veronica's forum and I love it. I think it is helping me to have less frequent thoughts about him with her and the pain/punched in the stomach feeling is getting better when I do think about them. I tried the whisper technique from the same lady too. I think PW is more powerful feeling but I may use this one on occasion.

Then this evening, I listened to Lanie's Body Enlightenment MP3 and I am flying on good vibes! My guy's birthday is tomorrow. I decided that since I can't break NC, I am going to give him a birthday BJ/BWD session for the entire week every morning! I am a very early riser so maybe he will get a rise too? LOL. Sorry, I am starting to feel more like my bawdy, fun self today. AND I HAVE MISSED HER! I am going to hit him with BW in the morning and PW at night for the week because it makes me feel good too!



 

2/06/2017 2:18 pm  #2


Re: Feeling Determined

For the first time since the breakup, I am actually sleeping again! I didn't wake up in time to get in the right frame of mind to do BWD this morning. I wanted to do it when I could pour a ton of emotion and heat into it. I did Agnes Rubbing Out Technique and then Lanie's Body Enlightenment again before I got out of bed. I am so thrilled to be sleeping more than 2-3 hours a night!  I think that it could be because I am at peace with the outcome.  I watched and read some Basher for the first time before bed last night and it resonated with me. I wrote this on a card to carry with me " Circumstances don't matter. Only state of being matters".

I had a totally pampering shower, I got flirted with at the store this morning so that gave me some swag back. I didn't wear underwear! Ha, just those little things that make me feel my sacred feminine power.  I am feeling very sensual and I know that I am going to be able to do the most intense BWD session I have done in a while on my lunch hour and put everything into it. I used to get texts from him when he was working that he couldn't stop thinking about me, my boobs,  etc when he was working so I am going to have BWD take place in his office. I am sure that he is expecting me to at least email him Happy Birthday today since I always initiated contact before when we weren't talking. I am going to do BWD and then CTC so he can feel the loss of me.

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