smalmo wrote:

Thanks all..yes agree long distance is difficult but not impossible..the reason we met was on a matrimony site to get married. The few times he has come down to meet me is because we had it going very strong..the plan was that we will get married and I will move with him to the country he stays in..i would need your help here to help me understand where I am going wrong with the manifestation, please don't make me loose hope already..
  

  
That is a completely different scenario from what you posted before and that is why I asked you for
details before responding.  If you met on a matrimonial website with the intention of getting married,
there must have been a time-line of how long the two of you would spend getting to know each other
and then an engagement and a wedding date.  Was there a formal engagement?

Obviously there is a reason why he decided that he didn't want to marry you.  Do you know what
the reason is?  Did he tell you?  

And if you decided that you didn't want to marry him after getting to know him, would you not
expect him to honor your wishes.

I don't really think that this is something to be meditated upon.
  
  

 

Well we spent 2 good years getting to know each other.. we did a meet many times in these two years to be able to get to know each other..we had decided we will get married this year..as I already informed earlier in his last visit we had a misunderstanding where I overreacted and he felt I was too emotional for him..

smalmo wrote:

Somehow now I feel more miserable after posting this here..it is hard to explain the intimacy and the depth of the relationship in just a few words..obviously this matters to me as I spent 2 good years with the man and hence I am here seeking your help..also Lanie said in her books we can use meditation on any guy we want..and here I am talking about the man I was about to get married to..to you it may be not a situation to meditate but to me when I have almost reached a situation of despair after giving my 2 good years to this relationship...this matters to me more than anything else in my life right now..perhaps I shouldn't have posted my concerns here..
  

  
  
You can meditate on any man, but in this situation I don't see the point.  Someone else may have
another opinion that is different, but I've been married twice and that's how I see it.  For me, it doesn't
take two years to get married.  If you met each other on a people seeking marriage site and you both
wanted to get married then there should have been a set time-line (most likely set by the woman) an 
engagement and then on to planning the wedding, whether large or small, who is going to pay for it,
and then having the wedding ceremony.  If a man starts hemming and hawing and talking about his
past relationships "scared him too much to take another risk in his life" that's just some lame excuse
to string you along.  I've been accused of speculating so I'm not going to do that now, but I have my
suspicions about what went wrong.  This isn't necessarily anyone's fault, things just happened.  

Anyway, I'm sorry that what I have said has upset you, but that's how I see it based on what you have
stated.  You can meditate on this if you want, but 2 years is not a long time in the grand scheme of life.  
You can continue to pursue him through meditation, but if you decide not to, forget that any of this ever
happened, go back to the marriage site, find another one and make a plan for actually getting married.  
  
  

 

smalmo wrote:

No no its all fine perhaps I am too emotional to see the reality here..you are right I didn't put any pressure for us to get married and when I did it backfired..i do certainly want him back as apart from the commitment issue he is exactly what I seek in a man and more than anything I love him too much to loose him
  

  

That's good because I was worried about you.
  
Lanie has a couple of books that may help you.  One is Book 3, PP.  In there she tells you things
you need to do and not do to get and keep your man.  Then she has a brand new one - BREAKUP
to MAKEUP: Getting Your "Ex" Back: (Dating & Relationship Advice) (FOR WOMEN ONLY Bk 4)

She teaches common sense things like do not become physical with your man before you have
established an emotional bond and explains why you should not chase him, stalk him, beg, plead,
act desperate, etc., because it gives him the upper-hand.  Lots of things that we either don't know
or sometimes forget.
  
  
 

Indigo wrote:

Aphrodite11 wrote:

Indigo wrote:

  
  
If you just started doing PW 3-4 days ago, you need to work on your patience.  These meditations
are not an instant gratification tool.  Honestly, I don't have much advice for you ladies in these long-
distance cross-country relationships.  Everyone knows that long-distance relationships rarely work.  
There is the occasional success story but for the most part they don't work because a man needs
a woman taking care of him, not skyping him or talking to him over the phone.  I think that you all
are setting yourselves up for failure by getting involved with someone that is not in your proximity.  
Anyway, maybe someone else will post about how you should handle this relationship.  Meanwhile,
I recommend that you read all of Lanie's For Women Only series, you can use them to learn about
dealing with this situation as well as other men in the future.  
  
  
  
 

Long distance relationships are difficult and they rarely work This is true. But it is this very thinking that has made this true.
And a woman too wants a man who will be with her, not someone who will skype her or talk over the phone all the time or just write letter or send the raven.
If you want him to be near you, then add that in your PW. Hear him wanting to get a job in your country. 
And don't you say nothing is working. You manifested this break up and whatever you did to manifest it worked even though you couldn't see it. You realised it only when you broke up. So whatever you are doing to manifest him back will work whether you see it or not.
Have some patience. It has only been three to four days.
  

  
  
Yes, but women can take care of themselves.  Women do NOT need a man.  Women can earn income, take
care of the household, raise their children alone, fix the car, cook, clean, do laundry, and take care of a ALL
aspects of their lives.  Men cannot.  Most of them are sad and helpless creatures.  That's why men hook up
with another woman as soon as they break-up/divorce and women take a break between relationships.  And
please don't reply about how men can do all the things that a woman can.  They CANNOT.  We all have
mothers and fathers, and which one of them does everything???  Exactly.  MOM!!!  And that is the main
reason why long-distance DOES NOT work.  
 

It always makes me sad to read things like this pseudo men bashing. To see you write "...men are sad and helpless creatures." Breaks my heart. Why would you waste time trying to attract some of these helpless creatures. Where is the love in that.

Women can take care of themselves, yes and so can every single creature in the animal kingdom. A relationship is about a union. It's not about loss of self. A man or woman should be with someone because they want to share the experience of love & life together.

You make some very generalised blanket statements to differentiate men and women. There are plenty of women who jump straight into relationships one after another, with no breaks. It may also be good reading to look up how men and women process break ups differently. 

As for long distance not working. I've had a successful long distance and I have five good friends who are now married to men who they were in long distance relationships with. A LDR is hard but like any other relationship it will work of the two people (man & woman) are committed to making it work.

I look forward to the day when we stop having the man v woman argument.

I'm a little confused, I thought the whole point to applying LOA to your life was to empower yourself to change and create your reality. How does one do that with rigid beliefs that x is x and will never ever change.