Lanie Stevens, Author -- "Empowering Women Forum" - http://laniestevensauthor.com

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2/15/2017 2:39 am  #1


You can come back from anything

Hey ladies 🤘🏽

So I dated this super-hot foreign guy for about a month but things ended quite badly. It was great at first but I was confused about what I wanted at the time (story of my life, honestly) AND I had those messed-up beliefs about men (the reason I started this thread a few months after this). He said some low-key offensive things about women, not realizing it obviously, but instead of calling it out straight away I built up the anger. When he started avoiding me, I got really mad and exploded all the anger I'd repressed and went off at him over text. We argued back and forth, he denying everything obviously, and I just ended it, honestly feeling quite embarrassed. Okay, REALLY EMBARRASSED. I spent a lot of time being mad at him, at myself, at the situation, at the world, but eventually accepted that I had attracted this. It wasn't easy! I blamed society for a long time, but when I remembered that we only attract what we believe, I began the process of letting it go. 

Upon the advice of an awesome LOA friend, I revised the situation. That first time he said those things was after we first slept together- I revised that whole thing. Imagined him saying he really liked me and wanted to see me again, and that was it! From there, I could easily imagine the months that followed as awesome- he wanting to spend time with me, us going out, being each others' plus-ones for events, etc. I revised this in November I think, and each time after that, when I thought of him it was mostly positive. As an active feminist I struggle to place my focus on building the new rather than shouting at the old, but I'm working through it and I've taken the responsibility off him.

Well, lo and behold, just this Saturday I get a message from him! He was only in town for a few months so he's definitely moved somewhere else at this point, and I'd deleted him off FB so to get a message from him on Messenger meant he REALLY went out of his way to search for me. He said despite our misunderstandings, he remembers me as smart, beautiful and nice. Said he thought of me that day and felt he had to message me! Hopes I'm doing well, etc etc.

He mentioned in the text that he didn't expect me to reply, but just felt he HAD to say what he said. I mean??!! Pretty incredible. I gave a curt response at first, but that was because I was listening to my "real-world fuck-him" friends. I then asked where he was and we caught up so nicely! He was insanely excited over text. I was very calm, not putting too much into my responses but he was very curious about me. So yeah, pretty cool! I mean after that, to remember me only positively? 

No, I don't see us going anywhere. I just wanted that situation to have had a sweet ending, and I wanted us to be on good terms. Who knows, maybe we'll meet up in a city someday and have a good night 😉

2/15/2017 7:44 am  #2


Re: You can come back from anything

That is a really cool story--it must have been mind blowing to hear from him like that! I didn't realize you could script for past events as well, good to know.

2/15/2017 1:09 pm  #3


Re: You can come back from anything

jellyb wrote:

That is a really cool story--it must have been mind blowing to hear from him like that! I didn't realize you could script for past events as well, good to know.

Hey! Yeah it was- both surprising and unsurprising- strange feeling but good! Definitely- it's 'revision' by Neville Goddard- definitely check it out.

     Thread Starter

2/15/2017 3:41 pm  #4


Re: You can come back from anything

I love this story!!


All advice given is intended in the best interest of whomever I may be replying to & my opinions may not necessarily reflect those of the wider community on the forum.

 

2/15/2017 3:46 pm  #5


Re: You can come back from anything

Adore this, thank you for sharing! ☺️


 

2/16/2017 6:17 am  #6


Re: You can come back from anything

Blue wrote:

Adore this, thank you for sharing! ☺️

Ah, I love all of your posts, Blue, thank you! ❤️❤️❤️ I feel like a celeb just acknowledged my existence 😂😘 You're doing so so well, and inspiring us to do the same
 

     Thread Starter

2/16/2017 6:21 am  #7


Re: You can come back from anything

Amazonne wrote:

Blue wrote:

Adore this, thank you for sharing! ☺️

Ah, I love all of your posts, Blue, thank you! ❤️❤️❤️ I feel like a celeb just acknowledged my existence 😂😘 You're doing so so well, and inspiring us to do the same
 

LMAO omg 😭 You're too sweet. I'm just like all of you and just want you all to be happy! I try my best to help and it puts a smile on my face hearing everyone's success stories! 😘❤


 

2/16/2017 11:26 am  #8


Re: You can come back from anything

I was just about to create a topic on something similiar. I was in an on-off relationship with someone who was initially the sweetest person to me but things have now probably ended and ended badly because as soon as we got close, he did not treat me well plus I had a lot of insecurities and fear.
My question is that I want him back but I cannot let go of the hurt and pain caused by him. Sometimes I remember the bad times and I get really upset & confused. I do not know how do I fix my relationship/friendship with him. Even I dont want a relationship and commitment immediately but I want us to be on good terms. Also, I do want him to atleast admit his fault since he is the one who kind of used me & pushed me away from his life and has not contacted me yet. I am still confused. How did you manage to let go of the bad memories and believe that he would contact you? I do only PW and not BWD as he was not so emotionally close to me and I want the emotional connection between us to grow. Also, a psychic told me that he will not call me for atleast 6 months and that has really bummed me out. I know it sounds crazy and I shouldnt believe it but what if she is right? Please advise on my situation.

2/16/2017 12:58 pm  #9


Re: You can come back from anything

DJ wrote:

I was just about to create a topic on something similiar. I was in an on-off relationship with someone who was initially the sweetest person to me but things have now probably ended and ended badly because as soon as we got close, he did not treat me well plus I had a lot of insecurities and fear.
My question is that I want him back but I cannot let go of the hurt and pain caused by him. Sometimes I remember the bad times and I get really upset & confused. I do not know how do I fix my relationship/friendship with him. Even I dont want a relationship and commitment immediately but I want us to be on good terms. Also, I do want him to atleast admit his fault since he is the one who kind of used me & pushed me away from his life and has not contacted me yet. I am still confused. How did you manage to let go of the bad memories and believe that he would contact you? I do only PW and not BWD as he was not so emotionally close to me and I want the emotional connection between us to grow. Also, a psychic told me that he will not call me for atleast 6 months and that has really bummed me out. I know it sounds crazy and I shouldnt believe it but what if she is right? Please advise on my situation.

Hello Firstly, psychics are only going to reflect your fears/beliefs- so what s/he said to you is irrelevant, unless you choose to believe it. You create your future- no one else.

Second, I do understand getting over the hurt and pain and all. What was tough for me to come to terms with was accepting that I'd attracted it. Go back and assess what you were feeling at the time- you said you had insecurities and fears? That's EXACTLY what I had when involved with this guy, it's no wonder it turned out negatively. You know how different people can have totally opposite experiences of the same person? It's the same principle, expect negative, and that's exactly what you will receive. 

Find a way to get out all that anger- write it out, write him an angry letter that you'll never send, tear it up, throw it away, listen to some sassy Beyoncé tracks, whatever you need to do. You are human. After that, decide what you want with him and imagine that had happened instead. The easiest way for me to let it go was to just replace it with something else- I revised the whole situation. But some may imagine an apology, a heartfelt conversation- whatever feels best to you. But realize that people can really only be to you what you expect them to be. I know it's hard! But totally worth it. ❤️

     Thread Starter

2/16/2017 1:20 pm  #10


Re: You can come back from anything

Thank you so much for your reply! I could really relate to your situation and each and every thing that you mentioned. As soon as we became close I got insecure and knew something might happen. And it did. It was like two different versions of him. He was not the same sweet and caring person that he used to be.
I have often written my thoughts whenever I get upset and angry and then go back to my PW once I feel a little better. So I am not sure it is working. Do you think this makes the process slower?
I visualise him apologising but the psychic thing used to bother me. But since you said they work on our own beliefs, I will just forget about what she said. Thanks!

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