Indigo wrote:

Oasiscalm wrote:

Actually to my memory two people have been banned.

And both of them were banned for being argumentative and disrespectful to Lanie & other forum members.
  

  
  
I was wondering what happened to those two.  Thanks for the info.

And thank you also for your inputs but I prefer to tailor my posts
based on Lanie's teachings since I am in agreement with her for
the most part.
  
 
 

You do exactly as you wish, there is no directive here.

Indigo wrote:

DeDe651 wrote:

But l had ignored him once already and he reached out again. I'm all for not being readily available, but at what point is it game playing?

I wasn't available the first time (4 days prior to him texting) but of course since I do actually want to converse with him I did text back on his second outreach.

I know for myself that if someone texts or calls me twice and I don't get back to them, eventually they may stop calling.

We will have to agree to disagree, but of course thank you for your input and contribution to the thread! ❤️
  

  
  
You are concerned about playing games when the reality is that you are the
one who is getting played.  You are the one left to wonder why he did not
respond and I told you.  If you don't return his calls and he stops calling
then he stops calling.  It's not the end of your world.  What you are doing
is not working otherwise you wouldn't have started this thread.  Anyway,
it is quite alright if you refuse the advice that was given, if not you it
helps someone else and that is all that matters.
 

whether you wait an hour or a week to reply to his message; is not the true issue at hand. It's your energy and intent.

If you sit there saying "oh I'm going to wait 12/24/36 hrs to reply to his message etc etc " you are playing a losing hand. Because you have missed the purpose in what you are doing.

It's all about what is the energy you are radiating. When you feel like he is your only option you will be rushing to reply to message because you fear losing him. If you can get to a place of confidence and belief, you won't be worried about game playing.

The core is to become confident and reflect an energy which shows you aren't in fear or desperation of losing him because you didn't reply to his message in the correct time frame.

Ratpack wrote:

Piper wrote:

Avaelle wrote:

I think there are a mix of reasons. 

If they've taken a few steps away from you,  contact could make them take even more steps back.

If you're an emotional wreck already, not getting a reply or a negative reply could shake you up even more.

But,  I don't think it's a set in stone rule to not contact them but it is a good idea.

No contact first, so you can get your emotions in check so that when they do contact, you aren't begging and pleading - that's a turn-off. Second, you want them to miss you and think you are fine without them. It's like reverse psychology in a way. 

It's not set in stone, no, but to be honest, if your guy messages you, you should reply back as long as it is not fighting; it should always be positive. I know that when my guy messages me, I will be replying back the same day and not waiting days. 

Thanks! That kind of threw me off not to respond for several days. I can certainly understand being too busy to get back immediately, but several days seems like overkill. I'm not one to wait several days to get back to anyone and he knows I have a big issue with manners. Not to respond for days seems pretty rude to me, but, again, I've never done that to anyone, let alone someone I care about...

I agree. I get going NC until you get your emotions in order, but once your guy contacts, I'm not sure why some wouldn't reply within the same day. The whole point of doing these techniques is to bring the person back to you, and hopefully you've learned and grew in the process. If they contact and want to talk because they miss you, then they deserve a reply back. I don't like games and playing like that is playing games imho.