Avaelle wrote:

I'm confused.

If this is someone you want back, I'd reply. I'd simply be positive and natural and not overthink it.
If this is someone that I wanted nothing further to do with, I'd ignore him. If he had a relationship with the kids, he could maintain that via their parents.

He doesn't know my sister or her husband and since v all stay together he would play when he came down to meet me !! 😊 Maybe it's an excuse to contact me or something genuine cos he likes them a lot ! He is someone I do want back but on my terms! If not I guess I am way stronger and better about movin on if that's what results in him saying no to my terms ! 😊 Thank u for ur advice

Don't rush things.  Just sit back and give it time.  He is throwing a little hook in the water but you need to not take the bait.  Make him work for it until he is really, really wanting more!

He knows how you will respond to his message.  Change the response.  Just like you did!  Go for a workout and feel good about yourself.  Screw him!  If you haven't sent him a message you should do so.  "Glad you enjoyed it!  Smiley face"  Don't let the push/pull get you emotionally out of alignment.  xoxoxoxoxo

This is a long post mostly as I see for some reason I am not able to send individual replies without having to wait for 10minutes each between each post !! I wish this could change its very inconvenient!!

@annanwater good ur not sending another !! I used to be such a doormat and always saying sorry for mistakes that weren't mine with lot of difficulty learnt how to gain my respect back and my energy and power !! So please I'm with u fully for ur decision of not mailin him until he does !  Thank u for ur post I truly appreciate it!!

@jag123 : it's okie v all learn from our mistakes and somehow I feel it's good to make these mistakes cos the lesson seeps into our souls that much deeper post the mistakes !! I made a lot through the years so now I am a good student and I won't act in haste ever !! 😊😘 I followed ur advice and replied to him when I was calm and kept it real short cos I have the habit of sending lengthy messages !! Also I can say I learnt my lesson by reading about many of u sisters who have made these mistakes which made me even more cautious and calm !! Thank u a tonne for the reply !!

@golden: thank u for that ! 😊 I do feel happy for sure ! Yes I won't forget them ! Thank u so much for ur reply! 😊

@indigo: I did read the break up to make up book..yes ur absolutely right I should be open to the gettin back if he is ready to work things on my terms cos I have put up with his bullshit for way way way too long !! I am a lot more stronger than I have ever been in my life thanks to LANIE and all u sisters out here! This has been my first ever on any forum and post joining this forum I have joined a few more but this feels like home to me !! No I won't be intimate so easily and it takes me a lot of time as I can't open up after a very long gap which extends like this for months !! It surely will take me a lot of time to get intimate with him , yes but I do think he is checking to see if I am available to him and I think he got his answer clearly this time tat I am so not !!! I agree with u on this and I love u for this advice !! Thank u very much indigo for ur wonderful advice felt so empowered with all ur support !! Thank u for taking time to reply to my issue !! 😘😘

Last edited by I am queen (3/02/2017 1:59 pm)