daisychain wrote:

Met up with my love but now confused!!!

I'm off work on holiday and at the beginning of the week had been thinking of going for a short break to his Country as I love it but couldn't make my mind up.  The flight left the next day and I was talking to him that night and asked about a place I was thinking of going.  Long story short he asked if I wanted him to come see me so I said yeah.  He recommend a town which was closer to him so I ended up going there.  He works a lot sometimes until early hours plus has Uni but came to see me the night after I arrived and stayed over until the next afternoon then had to leave to go back to work.  He told me when I said where I was staying he'd phoned them to find out where it was.  When he arrived I got big hug and kisses and It was like we'd never been apart, we got on so well, chatted and had laughs.  He was showing me photos of his family, nephews, brother, sister, mum and dad and I saw pictures of her (the girl I found out he was with at the same time as me).  I said are you and her still.....he didn't reply just made a grunting kind of noise and had a meh type expression. 

He said he'd try come back that night after work, he finished early hours of the morning so would have to rely on someone giving him a lift.  Next day he messaged saying sorry he couldn't get his friend to bring him.  So that was it I didn't see him again, I was only there for 3 and a bit days.

I done PW on him while I was there but didn't see any response, I didn't see him again lol.

I'm so confused again as he's gone back to being quiet on me   I still feel that there's more for me and him and I truly believe he feels something for me.  This guy is younger and has a lot going on in his life with Uni and work etc.

Help....what do I do now?
  

  
  
I'm sorry this happened to you but if you want a real relationship with this
man then you need to do more than just PW.  I've been there, done that
and what you are doing isn't working especially if he's showing you pix of
his other girl.  Please take the time to read Lanie's other books on how to
deal with relationships and actually do what she says so that this doesn't
happen to you again.  
  
  

 

daisychain wrote:

Thanks for replying Indigo.

I'm doing loads more and have been for months from BW, Love spell.  My PW comment was only meant in that I wanted to see if there was a reaction while I was there.

He didn't actually show me the pictures as such, he was flicking through his phone showing me his family etc and they were there.

I have all Lanie's books and have read them all a few times, guess I need to re-read!
  

  
  
Well it hurts just the same whether he intended for you to see the pix or not.  I've got a 
crazy story but it really happened to me.  Years ago, back in the 80s, it's been thirty
years ago I was in a relationship with a guy that I knew was sort of a scoundrel but I
just thought he was the cat's meow and so I didn't care, all I cared about was that he
would see me when I wanted and it was all good.  I was working full-time at a really
nice job but I also had a part-time job in the evenings because I had the time and
energy and I liked to have extra money to do whatever.  So I had a part-time job at
a photo development lab we got all the films from drugstores, K-marts, everywhere
in the region.  The films would come in the evenings, we would develop them and ship
them back out in the mornings.  I only worked for 4-5 hours in the evenings because I
had my full-time job to attend and I had to be alert for that.  So anyway, one day at the
photo lab I came across an envelope (one of my duties was sorting the films by type
35mm, 110, discs, disposable cameras, like that) and it had his other girl's name on
it and so after the pix were developed I went and spied the pix under the guise of
doing inspections and OMG the two of them had a BABY together!!!  I was so upset
I can't tell you how shocked and upset I was.  I was so hurt it was awful because I
had no idea that all of that was going on.  They weren't married and since they both
worked for federal government it was frowned upon to have a baby out of wedlock
especially since he was a supervisor (not our supervisor, just that he should be
setting the example as a government employee).  To top all of that off, on my way
home from work that evening I was so upset I was crying and driving and got into
an accident because I didn't control my dumb emotions, it turned out to be the other
driver's fault but if I hadn't been so upset it wouldn't have happened and although it 
wasn't that serious it was scary.  This really happened to me and it is an episode
that I would rather just forget but when I say I've been there done that I really have.
   
   

 

daisychain wrote:

Yep it sure does hurt!

I knew where your story was going when I started reading it, what a horrible way to find out!

Apart from re-reading the books what other advice would you give me?  I really appreciate you taking the time to reply Indigo, thanks.
  

  
  
I forgot to mention that it was a brand new car!!!  

I don't really have much advice other than to consider what you are doing now
and how it's going to impact your future.  When we are young all we think about
is what we want right now without considering if it is even in our best interest in
the long run.  And that's about many things not just a man - it includes things
like buying real estate on your own and investing for retirement.  The years go
by very very fast.

Anyway, I eventually left that one alone and when I think about all the misery I
allowed him to put me through I just shake my head because it's not like I was
some brainless bimbo but I sure acted like one.  I wish I had known some of the
things that Lanie writes about relationships back then, I would have had a much
better life when it comes to dealing with "my collection" of men.

I just hope that everything works itself out for you
  
  
 

Well he's still not read my messages or replied.....hmmmm!

It may sound like i'm panicking seeing as i'm posting in here.....i'm not, i'm just confused as to why seeing as we had a really good time! I just find it strange.  I know he enjoyed spending the night and next afternoon with me, I could tell by the way he was, we were talking so much, cuddling watching tv, laughing and the pics of his family he showed me! It's not like he's hiding from me online or blocked me or anything so why do they do this, it's so confusing lol

Anyone shed any light or going through this?

My gut tells me i'm getting through to him and this is why he's pulled away just now.  Haha I like that to tell myself "I got ya and you can't get me out of your mind, heart and spirit...you can run but you can't hide Love!".....definitely gonna keep telling myself this.

When we were together the other week he turned up wearing the top I have been visualising him in, i'd never seen him in it only him wearing it in a picture lol.  He also done something i'd visualised, won't go into detail but you can imagine what it was to do with lol.  He was also quite affectionate as in pulled me in for a cuddle the next day and kissed the top of my head, I thought that was sweet!

So I just gotta be patient and let him catch up and come to me, I know this but it's so hard sometimes!  Quite strange actually as this past week i've been feeling really calm and positive about him and me, haven't felt the need to do PW etc I just feel so good and have this feeling in my gut that he's pulled away because of his feelings and he will be back   Maybe this is wishful thinking but it's really strong!