RainbowUnicorn wrote:

Hi all. I found this forum actually from a psychic review forum on which I lurk. There were many people with positive things to say here about Lanie and her books. I bought and read Manifestation first, and then went back and purchased and read PW. 

Prior to purchasing Lanie's books, I had been doing my own kind of manifestation and affirmations every morning and night. I didn't really know what I was doing, but a psychic (free one) had told me that I am very good at manifesting things, and that I should practice it, and also be aware of not to manifest negative things, and to be consistent with the energy I was putting out into the universe. I had had another (also free) psychic tell me a year or so ago to be careful not to want one thing, and be "vibe'ing" for another thing.

I didn't really know about vibrations and energy, but it makes sense. We are all made up of molecules and atoms and in constant motion. Every material thing is made up of this. We are literally vibrating 24/7. Although I know LOA and Lanie's techniques are more about mental vibration, it makes sense that you can apply the same logic to a physical scientific quality in all living, or even non living things, and that makes it easier to believe in the spiritual aspects too. Everything has energy, physical, spiritual, or otherwise.

So I suppose I should share my back story... I've been single for over a year now. The last relationship I had, I chose to end it for certain reasons. I don't regret my decision. It wasn't the right relationship for me, and it wasn't going to lead me to the life I want to live. In the year + since ending that relationship, I have been on probably a dozen or more dates, but it always results in either someone liking me who I don't want to pursue, or my liking someone who doesn't reciprocate my feelings fully (the later of which has happened twice now.). 

My first POI, I knew was probably not "right" for me, but there were certain things which really drew me to this person. We had actually tried dating (or hooking up or w/e) previously to my last relationship. I was in that last long term relationship for 4 years. When I became single again, he happened to reach out to me again. - We had not been intimate previously, and barely knew each other, had only had 1 date and some flirty conversations.

My friends had nicknamed this POI "Mr. Standup" Because in the few months of our initial contact (now several years ago) he would often make plans for us to meet up, then break those plans either with a last minute excuse, or no contact. He was young though, in his mid 20s, and since many years had passed, my friends and family encouraged me to respond to him again and see if he had matured any. But it seems like much of the same... in a different sense perhaps. 

Regardless, I am the type who doesn't believe in coincidence. What were the chances this person even remembered me, or that we were both single now years later at the same time, or that we would come into contact again (I had changed my number (not because of him) and other things that would make reconnecting more challenging).

It was as if the universe was saying "pay attention to this". That combined with the certain other qualities which drew me to this person, made me act and do things which would normally be outside my norm. It's been a year now on/off since we reconnected, It's never really been "on" and it's never really been "off". A state of limbo, a FWB, type of relationship. I've never explicitly revealed my feelings. But I'm about 95% sure he knows. 

He sends mixed signals at times. Sometimes I feel hopeful he may eventually warm up to the idea of a relationship, and then other times I feel he is completely unobtainable. We've never had a proper date. Netflix and Chill type culture. It's enjoyable though so I haven't really complained. Hiking, Ziplining, Clubbing, and other things aren't my nature. I'm an indoorsy, introvert for the most part. There are certain dates or activities I enjoy and would like to share with whomever God/the universe puts in my life, but for the most part, I'm comfortable with Netflix and Chill.

It's not so much that we've never had a proper date that worries me, as much as it is sometimes long periods of no contact. I had assumed very early on that this guy was a total playboy. However, he way later revealed to me that I was only the 2nd girl to ever be over at his house ever, aside from family and his ex. I also realized he has a ton of insecurities and self esteem issues, and that these issues likely make him avoid serious relationships out of fear of getting hurt. He's also a huge workaholic. Many of his days off he'd go in for overtime, or even when he worked, he'd work double shifts, etc. I would be over at his house some times when he'd get called in for overtime, and so I know this is not just an excuse. 

For much of the year, despite this POI living within a half hour's drive, I would only get to see him at best, once a month, and at times, even 2 or 3 months would pass without seeing him. For much of the year, I did all the chasing, initiating contact, wanting to see him, etc. I began backing off because I just assumed he was too unobtainable. We have always been open and honest with each other, and so he knew that I was going to start dating again. I began dating shortly after new year's this year. He would always take interest in what I was doing, how the dates were going, and want to know details. He'd tell me not to worry about him, and that he understood, but it felt to me almost as if he was saying one thing, but his actions saying another thing. 

I went on probably a dozen dates with a half dozen different people... but none of them compared to how I felt about this person. I think it was the certain qualities that are somewhat unique and rare around this area. Logically I knew that these certain qualities don't make up for being treated badly or ignored or periods of no contact. I kept an open mind, but I was fairly certain I wouldn't find anyone that I had such intense feelings for. -- I think deep down he probably figured I wouldn't easily find anyone else either. And every failed date attempt stroked his ego. 

Then in April I met my 2nd POI. In both POI cases, it was nearly love at first sight. If you had asked me a year ago if I believed in love at first sight, my answer would be a big fat no... but now... I'm not so sure. Sometimes you just "know" in your heart / soul / with every fiber of your being.... With my 2nd POI, I knew as soon as I opened the door and saw his smiling face. 

Unlike the first POI, this one went beyond the superficial qualities, and I felt (and still feel) like we share everything in common, I have had this "best friend" factor one other time, but this time, it's combined with the superficial qualities that I desire, which makes it even a more intense connection. 

Also, Unlike the first POI, I was sure things were going super well. Despite this 2nd POI being a great distance away they were coming to see me every other weekend or even more often. They were initiating contact with cute messages, every morning, every lunch break, every night after work. They were liking my social media posts at almost a creeper stalker fanatical level. 

Then last month, things just changed, I haven't seen them now in about 6 weeks. We went from talking multiple times a day, to now maybe once or twice a week, and usually I have to initiate it, though I did "test" him to see what he would do, and after about 8 or 9 days of no contact, he wrote to me and said he hadn't heard from me lately and asked me if everything was OK. I wanted to be like "No, it's not OK. You're losing interest in me, and making me anxious". But instead I just kept things positive and light. I told him about trips I had taken, concerts I'd been to, and upcoming events I was looking forward to. Making it sound like I was busy - in fact I was busy - but not TOO busy to talk, I just got tired of "chasing". I feel like I am a burden or bothering them if I have to always chase them. 

His behavior changed so suddenly and so much. I figure he may have found someone that lives much closer, that either he's seeing, or at least interested in seeing. Or the other possibility is I "scared him off" because, unlike with POI 1, I did reveal my honest feelings to POI 2, and I did so pretty early on into things, because he was showing signs of interest and effort and being a decent human himself. But it was early - it still is early. We began communication in April, but just started seeing each other in May. When I asked him about dating, he told me he didn't know yet, and then pushed the question back onto me. I told him "well I like you obviously, or I wouldn't have asked". And he claims he likes me too, but that the distance is harder than he initially thought it would be. Since then, I've brought it up a few times, which also probably makes it awkward and has pushed him away a bit.

POI 2, or someone like him (or the "him" before he started to back off), is the person I would most like to manifest in my life. I have trouble "believing" that I could ever feel the way I feel about POI#2 for anyone else... but... oddly... Prior to meeting POI 2... I had told my friends and family and even myself "There's no way I'll like him as much as POI #1, no way he'll be as handsome as POI #1 and so on." And then when I opened the door, I was "pleasantly surprised" to say the least. He must be the most unphotogenic guy ever, because when I opened the door, I was floored by how handsome and charming he was. And I already knew we had so much in common and that he had a good personality and heart. 

It has been a lot more "emotional" feeling the loss of POI 2, than it was for me to deal with my emotions with POI 1. While they are both still part of my life and still in contact with both of them, with POI 2, it was much more like we were already dating, we would go to movies, amusement parks, out to eat, and even share food. We were in contact constantly, and he was making a lot of effort, given the physical distance. With POI 1, I can rationalize "oh it's just a sex thing" -- even though I have feelings for them both, the actions and attention from POI 2 struck my heart a lot harder.

When I began seeing POI 2, I backed way even further off of POI 1. And then it happened. Manifestation. I had spent the better part of the past 12 months trying to pray / meditate / manifest POI 1 to want a "real" relationship. I prayed / wished / used crystals / downloaded meditations and practiced affirmations, for almost a whole year... especially early on, back in the fall of 2016.

I actually hadn't attempted to manifest anything with him since maybe February of this year. I was letting go. Big time. Since February also I stopped contacting him. I had actually already begun contacting him less and less around the holidays. It surprised me when he got me a small Christmas gift and wanted to see me 2 days after Christmas. I had spent much of Thanksgiving through Christmas trying to manifest that we would spend Christmas together, maybe not the exact day, but just see eachother at the holiday. I came back from shopping with my family, and found his gift waiting for me. and after chatting and thanking him for the gift, he invited me over to see him. Prior to that, my last visit to see him was before Halloween I think - It had been 3 months, and some change. And so I really wasn't expecting a gift, or to get to see him. It made me incredibly happy. 

Anyways fast forward to May of this year, and here I am nearly completely over POI 1, I had been dating other people for almost 6 months, and really heavily invested into POI 2 although it was brand new still. And it was as if a switch had been flipped inside POI 1, suddenly he began chasing ME. He began to initiate contact almost every single day, and we drew closer (I feel anyways). He began inviting me over at least once, or even twice a week. Going from once a month, or even once every 3 months, to twice in one week??? What was happening here....? He began asking some weird questions that you would not ask in a FWB relationship. Twice now he has asked if my family ever asks about him. And as mentioned he's always shown interest in my dating life - which if we're just FWB seems weird to me. It could be natural curiosity on his part, maybe some people are like that, but given our "relationship" (or lack thereof), it seems like it shouldn't be something he worries himself with. 

I am fairly certain of two things. 1.) I manifested this change in him. The manifestation took so long to occur because I never truly "Let Go" of my desire to be with him, at least, not until I met POI #2. and 2.) I think POI 1 and I would still be seeing each other a lot more - except POI 1 got very ill and had surgery last month, so it's been a few weeks now since I've seen him - he still initiates contact frequently though, and had mentioned just a few days ago that he wanted to see me soon.  He had wanted to see me a week or two ago but it was (sort of) late at night and I had to work the next day, so I declined, I told him maybe the next day, but then he had company over so I couldn't go over and our schedules just haven't lined up since then.

When we were in close contact / frequently seeing one another all month, he was different than he had been before. On one of the "dates" he said he wasn't sure if he felt up to sex (he has had these ongoing health issues for awhile), but that I could bring a pizza over and we would watch movies and cuddle. -- He's never wanted to just "cuddle" and I'd offered to bring food or other things before and he didn't show interest (in anything except for sex). He also knew that my date with POI 2 the day or two before that had been a "Netflix and Chill" type of date (minus the sex lol). We basically "recreated" the same date over again, as if he was trying to "compete" against this guy. 

Not only that, but the look in his eyes, his smile, his kisses, his touch, was all more tender and kind, and loving, and it felt really different.... Not that he was completely emotionless or heartless before, but it felt very, very, very loving and indescribably just different than any of the other times I'd seen him.

This was all before discovering Lanie or her books, and even before I began my own morning/evening affirmations and scripting etc. 

So fast forward to present day. I've been doing my own affirmations, not really knowing what to do, just saying what came to mind. It was brief but I did it every morning before even sitting up in bed, and every night before falling asleep, first, and last thing I did (and still do) every morning/night. It was something like "X and I are in a committed exclusive long term relationship with eachother, and we are happy. X really loves me, and I am grateful." It has always been directed at my POI # 2 who is my "main target" right now.

About a week ago, I discovered Lanie and her books and began PW LOA and EFT. I don't do the love spell simply because I have cats and don't like candles (fear of the cats tipping them over / starting a fire lol). I do try to do the love spell in my head, visualizing myself carving the names on the candle, and visualizing the corridor and space filling with light, etc. It's all about belief anyways, so a physical candle shouldn't really be needed. I also began "scripting" which helps me with my visualizations. I started a private "me only" online journal, and I began writing very detailed "scripts" as if I was journaling about a life I'm already living with my POI. I write about our future, hypothetical kids, bbqs in our back yard, meeting eachother's friends, or friends' kids playing with our kids, a dog in our back yard, summer vacations and trips we would take as a family, and I focus on how I feel, and especially make sure to be grateful, to God / Universe. I re-read all of my scripts at least 2-3 times a day, and I then try to immediately do PW and visualize and send these thoughts to my POI.

We shouldn't look for signs, but already I've seen signs. Lastnight I was seeing the number 8 EVERYwhere. I didn't know what it meant at the time, but I later read that this is the number of "personal power" and self confidence and the number most associated with manifestation and abundance and the "universal spiritual law of cause and effect"  which states that "The energy of thoughtfulness, kindness and graciousness are considered to be ‘good karma’.  When you send these energies out, they will be returned to you in kind." -- Very similar to LOA and Lanie's PW. - Like I mentioned I have been really focused on gratitude in my visualizations and scripting - so this tells me the universe is acknowledging my gratitude and that it will repay my graciousness. "Angel Number 8 brings an uplifting message of encouragement from your angels telling of achievements, success, striving forward, progress and attainment. It is a message to stay optimistic and listen to your intuition and inner-guidance as you hold positive expectations and thoughts of positive abundance in all its forms" - So it's a sign from the Universe encouraging me to continue my manifesting and visualizations. 

And this is actually not the largest sign I received. - As so many other girls on here have mentioned, and as Lanie mentions in her own books, the men come out of the woodwork as it were to be near the positive energy that you put out into the universe. I had a date over the weekend with someone new, my first date since my last date in early /mid June with my POI 2. And then, I got asked out again by someone else yesterday (but politely had to decline that one as I was tired). The guy yesterday used the phrase "I've been thinking about you". I have never met this person face to face yet. We had been chatting for a little bit, and had planned to meet for dinner, but our schedules had not aligned. We had actually fallen out of contact the past month or so. So this was very out of the blue. He is once again traveling so we will aim to meet up in 2 weeks.

Another very, very, very long term friend / penpal wrote to me over the weekend, told me he had just had a very long phone call with his grandmother, and that they had talked about me. (a bit of back story) I was supposed to go meet this person last summer, I even had plane tickets! But arrangements changed suddenly about where I would be staying, which 1, would have cost me a great deal of money and 2, made me uncomfortable at the sudden change - a day before my supposed trip. It damaged our friendship a little bit from both ends I think. We also made 3 or 4 other failed attempts to meet, one time once again costing me some money. We've kept in and out of contact the past year, but I actually hadn't spoken to this person in about 3 months prior to him telling me he was talking about me. - He told me that he was sorry about what happened last year, and that he still truly wants to meet me, and told me that his grandma told him/asked him "Why didn't you just have your friend stay here?". 

Something made him think about me, enough so that he even wanted to talk to his family about me. Just as something made the guy lastnight think about me too. And my "date" over the weekend, although it was platonic, I had tried to cancel it due to some circumstance, but the person wanted to meet so badly that we managed to work things out. -- And then, unlikely, the thing I was worried about (negative and focused on it which caused me anxiety) ironically - even though it was super unlikely to happen -- it happened. - We can manifest negative things too if we are not careful. - I had been afraid of driving all the way to meet this person, I'm a nervous driver, and I worried if I could handle it -- I thought about all the negative things, breaking down, getting lost, and of course, getting into an accident.... But instead of being angry, he was understanding - I had actually tried a VERY brief PW on him before breaking our date. In the PW I visualized that he would say he would come see me instead. And then what happens on the date, we agreed to meet up half way - still a pretty hefty drive, but much less stressful as I was at least familiar with the route/area. -- and then when we agree to carpool, and I ask whose car do you want to use, he says mine, and I JOKINGLY say, oh so you trust my crazy driving? and then as soon as we back out, bam, hit another car also backing out (was in my blind spot, totally didn't see them). It was VERY minor, neither of us even going 2 miles an hour - the people were very kind and didn't want to exchange insurance. I felt bad and embarrassed of course, more so even because of the date in my car and my JOKE I had just made. My car had no damage, and the other person's car, the back plastic-y part of their bumper had a small dent. I felt bad, but I tried to control my anxiety and not focus on it much. We went on to have a really nice date, and I believe we will meet up again soon based on our subsequent conversations. This person does not yet rival my feelings for either one of my POI, but it was really very much like a blind date, we had some light text/chat conversations, but I had not even heard his voice until meeting him the other day. So it's too soon to tell really. I don't think we have a ton in common like hobbies and such, but neither did I with my last long term boyfriend. Actually this new person reminds me almost 100% of my last long term boyfriend, in their demeanor, interests, and so on, without a lot of the negative traits of my last long term bf (he lacked ambition and was not good at adulting lol). So this guy has more of his life in order and is basically like the person I always wanted my last longterm bf to be. I feel that if my last longterm bf would have "had his act together" - I would have been happy and probably continued on in that relationship. So the lack of commonality / interests etc isn't the end of the world in the new person, but when POI 2 is basically like my "twin" in terms of interests and hobbies, etc (plus with the outside appearance that I desire), it is going to be hard to shift my focus away from that. But I also thought it'd be hard (or impossible) to shift my focus away from POI 1. I am hoping to be "pleasantly surprised" again LOL. 

I am also planning to meet a new friend, who shares all my hobbies, and from what I can tell from photos, likely has many of the outward traits I find desirable, however they are at an even greater distance than POI 2. Because of the distance and timing and schedules and things, it may very well be 2 or 3 months still before we meet up. But so far, so good. They have a lot of the traits I liked about POI 2, cute/affectionate messages, morning messages, expressing affection, gratitude for our "time together" (even if it's just chatting right now) , talking for great lengths of time and so on. Things that I have been trying to manifest POI 2 to return to being his "usual self" but perhaps the universe has other plans for me, and these traits will be manifested in a new future relationship with someone else. - I trust that God / the Universe know best, and I'm just practicing every day, being grateful and positive, and not trying to focus on the absence my heart feels at POI 2's sudden cooling off. 

I have a long journey ahead as it is still difficult at times to be positive. This morning I did my affirmations in front of the mirror as I got ready for work because I was running late, and I noticed when I did them, I was smiling, uncounciously, just it made me happy, to be grateful, to be positive, without even thinking about it, my smile was genuine, in my eyes, across my lips, my whole face lit up with happiness. -- This is much better than waking up every morning with anxiety asking myself why isn't X writing to me, where's my cute morning messages, etc? I was getting myself into depression and amplifying my anxiety before.

There were days where I'd look at X's name on my phone or computer and wonder "He's online right now, why isn't he writing to me?" - I went through this same thought process with my first POI too, to where it was driving me crazy - then when I switched my "target" POI 1 suddenly began to change. I'm working still on "Letting Go" of POI 2. That seems to be the hardest part for me. Sometimes I need an outside external influence to shift my focus. I'm sure that once I truly let go I will see the results I want from him, just as I suddenly witnessed a huge change in behavior with my first POI - and that was before I even knew fully what I was doing and went months without doing any "manifesting" on him at all. I am sure manifesting works, and I will continue to be grateful and live my life with positivity instead of focusing on my anxiety. 

Edit to add: Also forgot to mention a few other signs / things that just came to me.

On day 3 of PW, I had a VERY vivid dream. In my dream, I dreamt that I woke up, and was giddy / giggling about "It working" It being PW that is. In my dream, I dreamt that right as I fell asleep, I got a message from my POI, commenting on a lot of the things in the visulization etc. -- It felt REAL. I woke up actually REALLY confused, big time. I had to check my phone even to make sure it actually was a dream (which sadly it was) - But I was able to tap into how happy, literally giggling / giddy etc I felt in the dream, I was able to carry that feeling all day with me. If nothing else, that's worth something, to have beautiful dreams and wake up feeling happy / refreshed and be able to relive that experience throughout the day.

On day 5 of PW, I began to experience "heart flutters" whenever I'd do the PW and visualizations. Since day 5, those heart flutters have continued and intensified. - For the first several days of PW, I felt nothing, and at first, dismissed the heart flutters as coincidence or some other feeling. Now I feel they happen because of the excitement and "anticipation" and happiness that I feel as a result of the meditation / PW / visualizations / scripting. I also "like" to think it's a sign my emotions are getting through to my POI, or that they are thinking about me as well. 

Sometimes when going about my daily life, I'll suddenly think of my POI - which okay is not uncommon, because come on, we all think about our POI pretty frequently. - But In these cases, I'll be thinking of them and (since I work and also use computers at both work and as a hobby, I'm online/connected pretty constantly) and I dunno, I'll get like this "feeling" to look at my contact list, and I'll see that the POI was last online "1 minute ago" it's always "1 minute ago" when I have this feeling, which makes me "wonder" or "hope" maybe they were thinking about me, saw my name online, or thought about, but didn't send me a message - based on how I above mentioned that when I went a few days with no contact, they asked me if everything was OK, they definitely notice and / or feel some anxiety even themselves when we go no contact. My family had actually been telling me for a few days to tell him pretty much exactly what he told me, just that I hadn't heard from him and wondered if he was OK, and I was going to do it that night, but he beat me to it lol. 

All of these little signs confirm to me that the universe is listening. I may not get POI, because the universe / God might have someone even better for me. But I know and am grateful that things are getting and will get better, whether it is with one of my POI or someone new that I have not met yet.

This was such a GREAT read! I read the entire thing! Lol. I feel like your situation is pretty similar to mine in that I have/had a FWB situation who I actually like and would like things to progress between us. Funnily, he's younger than me too. He's became distant in recent weeks and each time we've hung out recently has been group settings. Although any time is good in my book, I'd like some one on one time. He also used to message me on FB every single day and our conversations would last all day. I'm definitely trying to get that rapport/vibe back. But I have decided to let go as well. I will be putting NC into action. It sounds like you're on the right track though with visualizing and your affirmations. Keep it up and the best person for you will be yours in NO time! 

Letting go can be soooo hard! But it's  so fun,  when we actually  do!