I am happy for you. Enjoy your mini vacation

Thank You.
We had a nice mini vacation. Hes definitely more affectionate (which is what I wanted) and also more open about telling me his issues.  Its funny, he actually opened up and discussed the issues that I had visualized him telling me in my PWD and BWD sessions. So Lanie's method definitely works.  Sometimes it takes awhile though.  And I will say that he is not fully the partner I am looking for right now. Hes about 75% there, so at this juncture I am choosing to not be with him until he is the exact partner I want.  Which with Lanies method could be doable.

And forgetmenot111. I frequently watch the Abraham hicks videos on Youtube, However I have visited their forums as well.  My goal was not to get him back but actually to master changing my vibration, him coming back better than before was an added bonus thanks to Lanie's technique and me putting the intention out there.  My next intention now is to have him be the partner I want him to be. 



 

forgetmenot111 wrote:

Alice, that's great!! I am still in a place of lack and idk how to change that!!

Hi Foretmenot111, The way I got past the place of lack, was by just pivoting my focus. So, whenever I found myself thinking of the negative things or that he had not come back to me, I just shifted my thoughts to the happiest moments I could recall. No matter what the topic.  Over time I was able to extend the feelings to at least 3 minutes of just feeling those happy thoughts.  I had to train my brain to stop focusing on him, and revised my thoughts to only revisit the good parts if I did think of him.  I also dated other people.  Two other men to be exact and that also helped me detach a bit.  I will say that during my sessions where I used PW and BWD, I always did Lanies cut the cord meditation afterwards, which helped a bit as well.

My advise is to continue your practice as long s it feels good to you, remember to cut the cord, and put yourself out there and be open to dating other men while your person gets their act together. In the interim work on raising your vibration and practicing LOA. Just focus on your own happiness and your target will be drawn to you like a magnet.

And finally, remember that it is not overnight. Some people get overnight success but many do not. It takes time. It took me nearly 7 months of not seeing my target until he randomly came back out of nowhere.



 

Aliceinwonderland wrote:

Oh I forgot to add. I am noticing that depending on their belief systems, some aspects are easier to manifest in your target. For example:
When we originally dated, he never took me out. His idea of a date was MAYBE buying me a beer or us sharing a bottle of wine and having a netflix and chill date. He also was reluctant to introduce me to his friends.
This past weekend, he spent over 350$ on me. We arent even together or dating! I never even asked. he just kept buying me things.  He also introduced me to his best friends and said he never brought anyone he didnt fully trust around them,  This was part of what I had wanted in my intentions of him becoming a better version of the former.

I think that these were some of the easier aspects to manifest and as Oasis Calm states in one of her earlier posts, as they are "seeds to water" in him.  He has more aversion to the idea of a committed relationship but less fear in spending money since he has enough of it.  So The key is to keep watering those seeds so that they manifest. right now the commitment seed is a small sprout.  I like to envision it growing bigger and bigger the more I water it and focus on it.

But a way to gauge your progress is to see if one of the easier seeds is germinating..something that you may not think is super important, but seems to be manifesting more quickly than say commitment or you being in a relationship or getting a ring. Etc.
 

Alice,  that is SO good to know because what I have been doing is any time I think “omg he hasn’t reached out” or “I wonder if he’s  talking to this girl..” etc, I go and look at his social media and I spiral completely out of control. I need to do just that. Think happy thoughts of us together & positive things related to him.  Because the truth of the matter, I have zero resentment or negative feelings towards him, I just get anxious because I do not have proof in the physical realm.
 
I am such an A type personality. When I want something, I do everything in my power & work my ass off to get it done. I think I try too hard to try to control this process, and it’s just not feasible.
 
And OMG! The way you described your man when you first dated describes mine to the T! We would never do anything, we went for drinks our first 3 times out and then we’d rotate my house & his and order pizza, have some wine, watch movies/tv.  How exactly did you set your intentions about him being the better version of the old him?
 
I like the analogy of the watering the seeds. But how would I be able to gauge the status if I haven’t heard from him since June ?? (other than liking my social media pictures & wishing me happy birthday in July)
 
Thanks soo much!!!!

 

Aliceinwonderland wrote:

HI Forgetmenot111, 
You had asked "How exactly did you set your intentions about him being the better version of the old him?"
To be honest I just stopped thinking of him altogether and decided to date someone else.  In my head I said, If he ever came back hed be the exact version of what I wanted or I wasnt accepting him. I drilled this into my brain over and over again so by the time he did come back, I remembered not to get reattached until he embodied all of those traits.  It took several months to train myself to think that way.  Whenever Id get that inkling of "ohhh maybe we should be together" because he liked a facebook post, Id stop myself and say, "No he isnt the perfect partner yet, keep moving forward and dating other men until he is" Thats how I approached it.

You also said "I like the analogy of the watering the seeds. But how would I be able to gauge the status if I haven’t heard from him since June ?? (other than liking my social media pictures & wishing me happy birthday in July)"

Many many people on this forum actually are still blocked and have zero communication from their POI. Some are even married to someone else or with another person.  So focus on those things that are going well. Like him still liking some things on social media and wishing you a happy birthday. This is exactly how it happened for me as well..It started with small gestures on social media like a like here or there, but we had zero direct communication like texting or calls for MONTHS.  So It may not be today or tomorrow but it will happen. Once I started applying LOA and listening to subliminals (get your ex to go crazy over you 6x daily by Matrixplay99 on youtube)on top of BWD and PW things began ramping up a lot. Within a couple of weeks he had finally reached out and texted me after several months silence, and we are now spending time together and texting regularly again.

Finally, something LOA teaches is to stop focusing on the outcome and the lack of what you want, because then youll only attract more lack. A trick I use to get around this is to visualize two parallel realities. The first one is this reality is what you are experiencing currently, the second is the reality of what you want already have had manifested. Try to envision yourself stepping into in the second reality and act as such...however you can imagine that happening, perhaps stepping through a mirror.  I personally envision myself drawing back a transparent curtain and stepping through it. Its good to be creative about shifting your realities. Then begin living in that second reality where everything you want has already come to pass. Be Appreciative, grateful and loving the fact that your POI is with you and the partner youve always dreamed of. 

forgetmenot111 wrote:

Aliceinwonderland wrote:

Oh I forgot to add. I am noticing that depending on their belief systems, some aspects are easier to manifest in your target. For example:
When we originally dated, he never took me out. His idea of a date was MAYBE buying me a beer or us sharing a bottle of wine and having a netflix and chill date. He also was reluctant to introduce me to his friends.
This past weekend, he spent over 350$ on me. We arent even together or dating! I never even asked. he just kept buying me things.  He also introduced me to his best friends and said he never brought anyone he didnt fully trust around them,  This was part of what I had wanted in my intentions of him becoming a better version of the former.

I think that these were some of the easier aspects to manifest and as Oasis Calm states in one of her earlier posts, as they are "seeds to water" in him.  He has more aversion to the idea of a committed relationship but less fear in spending money since he has enough of it.  So The key is to keep watering those seeds so that they manifest. right now the commitment seed is a small sprout.  I like to envision it growing bigger and bigger the more I water it and focus on it.

But a way to gauge your progress is to see if one of the easier seeds is germinating..something that you may not think is super important, but seems to be manifesting more quickly than say commitment or you being in a relationship or getting a ring. Etc.
 

Alice,  that is SO good to know because what I have been doing is any time I think “omg he hasn’t reached out” or “I wonder if he’s  talking to this girl..” etc, I go and look at his social media and I spiral completely out of control. I need to do just that. Think happy thoughts of us together & positive things related to him.  Because the truth of the matter, I have zero resentment or negative feelings towards him, I just get anxious because I do not have proof in the physical realm.
 
I am such an A type personality. When I want something, I do everything in my power & work my ass off to get it done. I think I try too hard to try to control this process, and it’s just not feasible.
 
And OMG! The way you described your man when you first dated describes mine to the T! We would never do anything, we went for drinks our first 3 times out and then we’d rotate my house & his and order pizza, have some wine, watch movies/tv.  How exactly did you set your intentions about him being the better version of the old him?
 
I like the analogy of the watering the seeds. But how would I be able to gauge the status if I haven’t heard from him since June ?? (other than liking my social media pictures & wishing me happy birthday in July)
 
Thanks soo much!!!!

 

 

Hi Alice! 
Thank you so much for responding. You seem like you were really strong with moving forward with your life. That's what I need to start acting like. It's funny because I have been thinking about using a dating app. Maybe I will do what you did. If anything, dating around will raise my vibration and I'd stop feeling low or sorry for myself that my POI ended things with me.

I like that you mentioned your thought when he liked your facebook post(s). I feel like I read into him liking my social media posts. So let me ask you, you said when you would have an inkling about how you should be together you would say he's not the perfect partner yet. Did you know that he would eventually come back? I feel that I am saying things like that, but then I tend to doubt it. 

You make a really good point about others on this forum about their situations with their POI. I do need to be grateful for the contact we do have/had recently. I will  definitely look into the subliminals that you mentioned! I am struggling with trusting LOA. Any suggestions regarding that??

A couple more questions (I'M SO SORRY!) regarding your PW/BWD techniques. Did you do them to Lanie's meditations? Or did you just relax and do your visualizations? Also, how frequently did you do the techniques? 

Thank you so much for your help. You are extremely informative. Sorry for the long post & the tons of questions. Hope to hear back from you!